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Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/23/2006 2:55:28 PM   
WhiteRadiance


Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
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Here are some examples of how some well-known folks might respond:
 
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
 
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. 

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.
 
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
 
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Did it ever occur to anyone that MAYBE that's where the rooster was?
 
 

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The drop of rain makes a hole in a stone not by violence, but by often falling.


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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/23/2006 2:58:34 PM   
Rumtiger


Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline 		I like Grandpa's answer

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If they cant take a joke, fuck em.
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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/23/2006 3:09:26 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		The chicken was tied to the duck.  She was submissive.

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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/24/2006 10:46:13 AM   
WhiteRadiance


Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Once upon a time, the chicken crossed the road to show the opossum it could  be done.. now the opossum has been replaced by the armadillo... (in my local area, anyway!) lol

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Staci

The drop of rain makes a hole in a stone not by violence, but by often falling.



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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/24/2006 3:41:15 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		Howard Cosell: Hello sportsfan, This is How... ward Co... Sell coming to you live from A...B...C... Sports where the chicken.... takes his first steps..............onto the......... road.
 
The Weather Channel:  The chicken is caught by a 158 mile per hour cross wind, and no longer walking across the road... its flying over the road, the highway, and ....well, would you look at that... I guess the egg did come before the chicken...
 
L. Ron Hubbard:  The chicken who is not actually a chicken is making you believe it is crossing the road, yet at the same time, actually crossing the space time continuim, while exploring the explicit yet undefined terms of subhuman slavery diversifications on the leeward side of the moon of Europa...
 
Yer standard Redneck:  "Ooooh, Look, bubba... watch what happens when I run over this chicken...."
 
Yer standard New Yorker:  "Get the Hell Outta My way, ya damned bird!!!"
 
Piers Anthony:  The chicken was actually dropping back deep, trying to catch a fowl ball, when he took a left on right street, and crossed the road.
 
Dr. Ruth: Ze chicken is obviously trying to hide her lack of sexual apetite for ze rooster...
 
 
 
CC
 
 

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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/24/2006 3:45:14 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

The chicken was tied to the duck.  She was submissive.



Reminds me of a joke:

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Cuz it was dead.

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

Cuz it was stapled to the first monkey.

Yours,


benji

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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/24/2006 9:46:44 PM   
LadyNeets


Posts: 188
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline 		 Why do ducks have webbed Feet???

To put out the Fires...

THEN

Why do Elephants have big Feet????

To put out the Duck 

Neets




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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/24/2006 10:23:14 PM   
BrokenDoll


Posts: 106
Joined: 8/15/2006
Status: offline 		giggles tyty I really needed a good giggle

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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/24/2006 10:31:25 PM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		Daisy had to cross the road to get the toad, Alex Harvey.

Possibly #1, honey took my gun.

Possibly #2, sixteen roosters enter the elevator.

At the same time that can only mean the Alex Harvey was going to be the Man in the jar. Alex may have learned not to enter people's studies through those French windows, but it was too late. Her Daddy was bad, AND good for his baby.

Once Alex learned that he was to be the Man in the jar everthing went well.

But there's one thing bothering me, I don't want to be canned chicken. I can understand it for the tuna, but that doesn't mean,,,,,,,,, never mind.

The proper nme of that is "Hot City Symphony" and is by Alex Harvey. Download it somewhere if you are not craxy yet.

T

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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/25/2006 5:31:49 AM   
BlueHnS


Posts: 166
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not sure why the chicken crossed the road but theres a rumor in our area that the cat crossed the road cause there's a dog in the bushes saying " Don't be silly! Of course they will stop for you".

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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/25/2006 7:02:36 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji


Reminds me of a joke:

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Cuz it was dead.

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

Cuz it was stapled to the first monkey.

Yours,


benji


Poor poor monkeys.

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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/25/2006 9:44:35 AM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		Where did they get the stapler?  Who stapled them together?

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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/25/2006 3:33:29 PM   
WhiteRadiance


Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		LMAO!!!  You are so funny!  :)  Thanks!
 
sometimes I wonder if anyone has a sense of humor anymore.. you have restored my faith.  ;D


quote:

ORIGINAL: CreoleCook

Howard Cosell: Hello sportsfan, This is How... ward Co... Sell coming to you live from A...B...C... Sports where the chicken.... takes his first steps..............onto the......... road.
 
The Weather Channel:  The chicken is caught by a 158 mile per hour cross wind, and no longer walking across the road... its flying over the road, the highway, and ....well, would you look at that... I guess the egg did come before the chicken...
 
L. Ron Hubbard:  The chicken who is not actually a chicken is making you believe it is crossing the road, yet at the same time, actually crossing the space time continuim, while exploring the explicit yet undefined terms of subhuman slavery diversifications on the leeward side of the moon of Europa...
 
Yer standard Redneck:  "Ooooh, Look, bubba... watch what happens when I run over this chicken...."
 
Yer standard New Yorker:  "Get the Hell Outta My way, ya damned bird!!!"
 
Piers Anthony:  The chicken was actually dropping back deep, trying to catch a fowl ball, when he took a left on right street, and crossed the road.
 
Dr. Ruth: Ze chicken is obviously trying to hide her lack of sexual apetite for ze rooster...
 
 
 
CC
 
 


_____________________________

Staci

The drop of rain makes a hole in a stone not by violence, but by often falling.



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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/25/2006 4:25:45 PM   
MrrPete


Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		The only reason the chicken crossed the road was to get to the other not realizing he was already on the other side.

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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/25/2006 4:31:54 PM   
MissTlTTYMilk


Posts: 142
Joined: 6/17/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks so much for a week's end laugh!  too funny

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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/25/2006 6:50:33 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Saratov

Where did they get the stapler?  Who stapled them together?


I just snorted from this...and wine came out my nose.

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RE: Why a chicken crosses the road.. - 8/25/2006 11:10:17 PM   
LadyNeets


Posts: 188
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline 		The Elephant had the stapler and the Butler did it...


LOL

Neets


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