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Submissive journals - 1/1/2005 4:39:15 AM

houndguy

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/1/2005 6:13:43 AM

masterLon3446

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On another board I haunt a question came up about your submissive keeping a journal. And how such a thing could let you understand your sub's mind a little better. As long as he/she understood that what was said in the journal was "safe" and that no punishment or reward would come of it.

I have mixed feelings about it myself. Knowing that it is just another tool and would allow me to address some things that the sub may not be willing to discuss in the open. It is also possible that it becomes more of a task for them, like a school paper you really don't want to write.

Journals are good to use in trying to understand your sub/slave, it is like a diary that can be kept and updated everyday, Doms no matter how good they think they are can not read a sub/slaves mind. This way they can tell what she is feeling and can usually head off any troubles he may see coming sooner than if there was no journal. Besides think about several years down your path, You both can go back to the jounal to the beginning and see how much you both have changed and how much you both have learned. I have also kept a journal, ( not just for sub/slaves) I have put my feelings in this journal also, besides having our weekly open discussions. I let my slave read mine as well, we understood each other well, well enough in fact to have 29 fantastic years together, before God took her away from me. Journals.....are a very good thing to have in a relationship, but not needed if it is a straight M's or just a part time thing, My relationship was mixed M's and D's, My next relationship will be also, If I have another relationship that is..

MasterLon

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/1/2005 9:58:23 AM

proudsub

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Here are a few other threads on journals:

journals?

journals and more

journals

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/1/2005 2:40:54 PM

sub4hire

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I've never been asked to keep one. Well, I guess I have by online people. There is nothing I would not discuss with Doug in person. So, I'm not so sure it would be beneficial for us.

I think it would be like reading a person's diary. An intrusion into their privacy. If they knew this beforehand would they be honest? I'm not so sure they would be.

On the other hand in my personal opinion. I don't really have a preferance towards them one way or the other. I can see where they could be a valuable tool if the dominant read the journal and analyzed the thoughts. Yet, they could get lazy. Then it would serve zero purpose.

I guess I'm a bit perplexed on the whole journal thing.

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/1/2005 4:09:18 PM

PerhapsitsFate

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I journal myself, and I've also been ordered to journal by a Dominant. I read other journals especially those of people in the lifestyle, as I'm fascinated by others views and experiences (yes, I'm nosy!!..lol :D). The thing I've noticed about the journals of some submissives, MOSTLY (of the ones I've read) they are just used to express love and devotion, and I've rarely seen any that were used truly to share their thoughts without retribution.

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~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/3/2005 2:24:25 PM

Focus50

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I've never made keeping a journal a requirement of my past subs but they can be useful, nonetheless.... A diary of a sub's life is different, if my sub wished to keep a record of her thoughts and feelings on submission, that'd be ok and a personal choice of hers, not a requirement of mine.

Journals are an aid to communication but should never be a substitute for discussing any problems.... If I have something to discuss with my girl, I just sit her down and we talk. However, it's not so easy for the sub and it's an area I work on with her.... But if she was prone to getting a bit tongue-tied about her concerns, and subs are definitely uncomfortable discussing their wants and needs from their Dom, I'd suggest she keep a journal....

But it's not meant to be a chore, either! She would add to it only when she has a need to - it's not to be a tedious routine. Writing in it would require her to inform me of a new entry and I'd feel obligated to read it and act accordingly. And, yes, the journal would be a safe-haven for her as an entry in it would equate to a problem she's having.

Sadly, journals tend to be the tool of the wannabe or HNG doms, too! Keeping a journal for a stranger's benefit is a definite red flag and I'd encourage any sub to cease such a ludicrous action. They get you to write your most intimate thoughts and fantasies then feed them back to you as wank fodder for themselves.... And before you know it, they seem to be the dom of your dreams - and YOU did all the work for them!

Focus50.

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/3/2005 6:02:10 PM

MHOO314

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I am a firm believer in sub journals especially newbies, it gives them an oppty , nah it forces them to compose their thoughts--and I find its a critical element in the life, if they wont do it, they wont do other things, if its hard for them it forces a connection with what drives them. For My best subs I will purchase a leather bound journal for them.

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/3/2005 6:10:03 PM

SirTyson

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I agree journals can be good things for a sub to do. It can help them to express their feelings without worry about any recourse, and it can also give them insite in to their own desires and limits.

And yes I agree with Focus in that it can be used as a tool for a newbie Dom to use to gain knowledge about his sub and use it to his advantage. If a sub has experience then hopefully she will be able to see that he is using it to his advantage if he is a newbie. Hopefully if he is truely wanting to be a real Dom then he will realize that a subs writtings should be respected just as she should be and not use them against her or to his advantage.

I dont have subs to write journal but I will have them write down thoughts, feelings, and more every once in a while and we then sit down and openly discuss them together.

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/4/2005 11:05:12 AM

stormiKnightBEAR

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stormi believes that journals are a good thing for some girls/boys.

The reason for this is simple in stormi's case. There is alot about her
past and the way her mind works that makes things easier to write than
to speak of. Once Master knows the main points of a process in stormi's
head then He has an idea of why she reacts a certain way.

Example of this was a recent discussion that stormi felt that she had told
Master of some events with her father and His temper. Never once did it
occur that there were reactions that were caused by that particular day
and event. Once stormi told all this to Master, He was amazed and said
all this time I thought your father was abc and you tell me now there was
abcwxnp.....NOW I understand why you react a certain way when I require
or request yada yada.

Also while this girl is an audio slave, at times reading Master's words would
be easier to absorb and then discuss after having had time to form thoughts.
See stormi is very blunt. Sometimes directness is not the best approach. For
stormi to soften things at times she needs the opportunity to absorb and think
about it to form thoughts and words.

Just this girl's two cents.

be well and good luck,
stormi
property of Master Bear

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PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/5/2005 10:05:01 AM

slavedesires

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i have always kept a "diary"... you know the kind, the little girlie one, that mom and dad cannot read, having a magical lock?
In college i kept a grownup diary, called a journal! (lol)

Now i journal, not daily, but almost daily about my fears, my thots, my desires, my dreams, my issues, my concerns, the things i learn, favorite quotes .....
Getting all these out and into visible form helps me really tackle who i am and what i strive for. seeing the words on paper makes it ... well, believeable, real for me.
Sort of like dreaming about a huge dish of sweet vanilla custard and actually having one in front of me. The reality is so enlightening.

Do i share this with my Dom? Sometimes, many times, portions of it or all of it.
His words were "if it weren't you would hear from Me, remember that" when i asked Him
"i never know if it is good for You when i send a summary or my thoughts."

He has never required it of me, i have required it of myself for most of my life.

Now interesting enough..... i end up throwing them away after a number of years, or delete the file or throw the disk away.
Why? i am not that person anymore. i have grown and evolved, ever changing and i wish to no longer look back, for i want no regrets.

shy

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....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/5/2005 2:24:21 PM

MiladyElaine

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I had a sub keep one once. In my opinion they are an invasion of privacy and if he knows beforehand that you will be reading, he is not as open as he would be with his own private one. It also got to be more of a chore to keep up.

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/6/2005 10:59:23 PM

Suleiman

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For a while there, back when I was being kept, I was supposed to keep a journal. I didn't really care for it. She was also keeping a journal, which I was supposed to read. I didn't. The whole process always smacked, to me, of that sort of passive-aggressive roomemate mode of communication by way of post-it notes. You either have a private journal that you keep safe, and that you know for a fact to be private, or you have a journal that you know for a fact will be read, and so you edit yourself. If you don't feel safe saying what's on your mind, then you really don't feel safe writing it down, either. I'd rather have a real conversation and actually say or hear what needs to be said and heard. It's a dying art, but one I appreciate. I know that when I tell my wife something important, it will be heard and acted upon. She knows the same is true of me. I also have a journal, which I keep for my own records, to track my moods, diet, and stray thoughts. I still have the habit of encrypting, cyphering, or using allegorical references to keep the private parts of my journal private. My journal here is really just a running commentary on my day-to-day life, since I'm of the opinion that the only people who bother to read my profile are folks curious to know who the heck I am.

<tangental aside>
Thinking back, the only time I was ever punished for keeping a journal was by my father's girlfriend (who later became his wife), while I was visiting for a few weeks during summer vacation. She found the journal, tried to read it, but was unable to due to the fact that it was encrypted - written entirely in futharc runes. She saw the runes and the various pictures I had doodled in the margins (which, being a metalhead at the time as well as a practicing occultist, included a lot of pentagrams, skulls, and scantily clad women) and concluded that I was practicing black magic and had been casting spells on her.

The damned thing is, she never even found my occult journal. That was just a diary. I guess some folks just can't stand the thought of a teenager having actual privacy, even in their own head. I suppose the same applies to how some folks treat subs, eh?

< Message edited by Suleiman -- 1/10/2005 8:32:33 PM >

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Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/8/2005 9:55:29 AM

PerhapsitsFate

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I saw this while surfing today... couldn't resist sharing!

"It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time."
Tallulah Bankhead
US movie actress (1903 - 1968)

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"Be still, sad heart and cease repining; Behind the clouds is the sun still shining; Thy fate is the common fate of all, Into each life some rain must fall, Some days must be dark and dreary."
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/10/2005 8:06:47 PM

stormiKnightBEAR

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desires,

The thing for this girl is that she is very blunt, her writings tend to be the same way.
When struggling with feelings stormi needs to write them. To .... rid herself of those
feelings. Currently stormi is writing as many as 3 times a day or more.
There are lots of things changing in stormi's life some for the better and some that
absolutely scare her to death. Does stormi know what tomorrow will bring? Nope.
Far From it.... she knows what her heart is telling her, that is what is scarry.

When stormi got divorced after nearly 25 yrs of marriage she had boxes and boxes
of journals it's only been over the last year or more that she's been throwing them out.
Most of the time without ever reading a word. You're right... those were stormi of yesteryear.

Good luck to you and your path,

stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/11/2005 6:16:15 PM

slavedesires

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stormi,

this girl has noticed it is the fire and the valleys that have made the mountains and journey more beautiful.

i wish to forget the pain and stife once i feel like i have REALLY learned my lessons well.

my journals entrys to Master are never edited, for if i did so, they would not reflect the truth of waht i am going through or feeling.

thanks you for your encouragment and gracious hugs to you on yours.

shy

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: Submissive journals - 1/11/2005 8:32:22 PM

cynnacent1

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i enjoy writing in my journal. INSIDEYOURMIND usually reads it very soon after i have made an entry. Many times we discuss the topic of the entry. i write about whatever is on my mind at the time, good or bothersome. Sometimes i simply write about things of my past which i wish to share with Him so that He can know more about things i have experienced in my life, good or bad. There are times when He has written an entry in answer of mine. i find it to be a useful tool in continuing to discover each other. i've always enjoyed writing, and i am free to write what i wish to without fear of punishment in that i am always respectful in my choice of words. i am not hindered in any way in regard to being truthful with my Master, and express my feelings and thoughts quite freely. Entries into my journal are never about anything i would not have shared otherwise and sometimes there are thoughts which i feel i can express more clearly and precisely through writing.

¸,ø¤º°cynnacent°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

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