RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (Full Version)

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apoeticsong -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/25/2006 11:51:55 AM)

mystique, thanks,
I think part of the problem is that his house is still  shrine to his late wife who drank herself to death 4 years ago.
He freaks out if any thing is moved,
I may of bitten off more then I could chew with this Gent.
The fear of him not having any one to objectitfy may make him feel uncomplete,
and out of control.   
Hard to beleive that He would be so self absorbed not to see another pain or care.
I guess our honey moon was all those phone calls and trips back and forth.
As she scurries off to seek a job and form a plan.



popeye1250 -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/25/2006 11:52:16 AM)

Poetic, don't worry, you'll find someone to love you and take care of you! It might take 2 or 3 or 5 Masters but it'll happen.
Just don't quit!
If I had a sub move in with me I'd do everything I could to make her feel welcomed and that this place was *her house too*.
That guy's just a rude asshole.



Sunshine119 -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/25/2006 12:01:29 PM)

Poetic,

You've gotten alot of good advice from lots of caring people here, so I won't add anything more than we all deserve better and you will find it.

I do have one other concern however, and it is for the little one who is sleeping under his bed in fear.  Do you know if he is being abused?  Some states...such as here in NJ....mandate that ANY person who witnesses or knows of physical or emotional abuse of a minor MUST (not a suggestion) report it to the appropriate authorities.  You might free two people at once.

Sunshine



SirDaniel -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/25/2006 12:03:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: apoeticsong

After months of wonderful phone chats, I was convinced I found the man of my dreams and moved in with Him.
Now a 2 months down the road, I am slowly loosing respect for Him. Why?
Well i thought he cared about me, but since I have been here sex has reached a low ebb, and only spanking clubs or community things peek his interest. last few times (a month ago) when we played left me days to heal a shoulder or wrist which He sort of blows off as "oh well"  seeing it isn't good pain I find I am not all that eager to engage either.
Communication is strain as well.
Nothing I do is right and get yelled at all the time and even His son that lives with us hides in his bed room all night from Him.
I don't like conflict, or was I brought up being yelled at all the time or set up to fail to have him laugh at me or turn things around.
So now I hide from him as well and only give him 3 word anwers.
Have I tryed to talk to Him? you bet!
example of things that bug me, not wanting a picture of U/us, and only takes pictures of me when I have been hit by a tide wave or in some other less then attractive scene.
Not being allowed to move anything in the house. after 2 months I am still living out of boxes. Maybe part of his OCD who knows.
Or the fact he cares so very little about my own needs or happiness.
I so miss the wonderful man who would talk to me for hours and show compassion, who I was falling in love with and I don't
know where to start to turn this around.
any pointers?


Pointers? Yes.. RUN. Run as fast and as far as you can to get away from him. The prize has been captured, now he is on the hunt for a different one.

Just my 0.02 Worth.








twicehappy -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/25/2006 12:07:34 PM)

Erin gave you great advice, sounds like the bait, hook, switch technique to me.



apoeticsong -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/25/2006 12:09:20 PM)

Sun shine, fear not the little one is too big to fit under his bed at age 22,
I have been trying to build him back up with kind words and brownies, he is also looking to move out.



KatyLied -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/25/2006 12:12:32 PM)

quote:

hard to figure how all my cute wore off in less then a month,


Apoeticsong - all your "cute" did not wear off.....his "asshole" finally showed.



onestandingstill -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/25/2006 1:06:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

hard to figure how all my cute wore off in less then a month,


Apoeticsong - all your "cute" did not wear off.....his "asshole" finally showed.


I agree with this statement wholeheartedly.

Ifeel your biggest problem is you lack confidence in your own worth. That's as sad to me as the other story you tell here. Rememer all of us have our good and bad points. Your age has not near as much affecting your beatuy as your own opinion of yourself does as far as attracting the opposite sex.

Get single, learn to love yourself first, then find someone to love you for the person you love in yourself. It will feel like it may take forever to get you into an emotionaly healthy relationship, but you'll see it will happen faster if you focus on you liking yourself first.
Suzanne



apoeticsong -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/28/2006 9:41:18 AM)

thanks to all for the kind words, what an ego boost to find people that care.
I am sure what ever the out come i will come out on top,
I tend to land on my feet not matter how high I jump from.
hugs to all,
kindly, heather



velvetears -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/28/2006 10:52:53 AM)

Sorry to see you in such a sad situation, you have difficult decisions to make. One thing which stood out to me in your posts, which i think is at the crux of why you are in the situation you are in now is this statement you made, "I guess I just nervous that no one would ever want me now that I am older and didn't care to spend my life alone"  You're a beautiful woman with worth and traits many out there would value immensely. 

This person doesn't sound like he would be easy to live with, being he has OCD. Another thing to point out is, his wife drank herself to death?!?!?!  You have to ask yourself why, and do you want to be shoved down that same path by an overbearing man who cares little for your feelings as well as safety. Your injury this time wasn't that bad, but i doubt if he didn't show concern this time he's going to suddenly garner and interest the next time it happens. 

Don't waste anymore time - leave, spend time alone, don't necessarily "search" and just relax.  The wannabes and predators out there can sense when someone is vulnerable to be abused or taken advantage of, and no one deserves that. Good luck!



apoeticsong -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/28/2006 11:20:29 AM)

thanks, sounds like you may of seen this pattern before, it is just a matter of planning out my next step so i dont loose my ass, and I have thought about the "whys" to so many things, I gave up talking to him, when it all just seems to make him feel like he is on the defense to any question i ask.
thanks for your input,
kindly song



CreativeDominant -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/28/2006 11:31:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

hard to figure how all my cute wore off in less then a month,


Apoeticsong - all your "cute" did not wear off.....his "asshole" finally showed.


ROFLMCDAO...that line alone almost makes up for the fact that "this is Monday, let's give s*** to CD in his real world" that is going on.



starshineowned -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/28/2006 11:34:16 AM)

quote:

I guess I just nervous that no one would ever want me now that I am older



I should hope to look so good at 52. Can't possibly add anything else to what you have already figured out yourself here apoeticsong, and the good advice from others.

Good Luck to you

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin



LotusSong -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/28/2006 11:52:31 AM)

What would a Dom/me do if it was the other way around?



apoeticsong -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/29/2006 9:29:09 AM)

I guess LotusSong,
She would do the same thing any one ought to do, and look within to see if She/He did something to cause this.
life does seem to be a cause and effect situation and thus we end up where W/we are suppose to be.
What ever tribulation is to be learn, it will be learn and to be thankful that i am being offered this to gain some virtue from it.
To fix it, i guess communication of 2 mature adults who are willing to accept responsibility for actions and open discussion would be in order, only if both are willing to work to over come short comings.
If either party has a "me me" attitude or self serving, then of course negotications will fail.
I am just as much in the wrong as He is for giving up communication to spare conflict.
but in any relationship it takes Both parties wanting to make it work and healthy.
It is never all about the Dom/me or the sub, but a blend of both energys.



TNstepsout -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/29/2006 11:36:54 AM)

I agree with those advising you to get out. There is something very wrong here that I don't think time will cure it. After all, his wife died FOUR years ago, and it was by self-destructive means. Why is he still pining for her? He sounds like he needs some pretty intensive counseling.

I don't think you need to settle. I think you have a lot going for you and a lot to offer. You deserve to be in a situation that is completely rewarding and fulfilling. You are a very beautiful woman. Don't sell yourself short.



Aine -> RE: new to 24/7 What the heck happen? (8/29/2006 11:39:46 AM)

*beats the dead horse some more....poor horsie*

Leave the fuckwad.



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