RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson...

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RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 1/29/2006 6:50:57 AM

Posts: 55
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline

Amen and halloluya, sister!

That and I'm only bi sexual because my male slave can not properly satisfy me are the two most ignorant accusations that I get thrown at me.

Why can't I just like being Dominated by a woman as well as have a man or young lady, grovel at my feet.

I see no problem with it.

I have a couple questions though, and I pose these to those that say such things.

How do you come to such conclussions without knowing those that choose to scene or live our way?

Isn't the whole concept of BDSM and our lifstyle based on what we ourselves find kinky, not what others percieve as right or wrong?

_____________________________

Judge not lest ye be judged.

I do have a profile, for some reason you have to actually search my name from cm's main page. I have no idea why, that's just the way it is. lol.

(in reply to MistressKiss)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 1/29/2006 8:45:39 AM

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

I am fairly new to this site (about two months) and have not had a male sub email me to tell me I am not really a switch, but I have had at least 6-7 male Doms do so. They seem to think that what I really am is a slave and proceed to tell me what they want to do to me and how they want to enslave me. I thought it was just because I was so new here that I was getting emails of this type. Thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts.

(in reply to MistressKiss)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 2/1/2006 10:42:21 PM

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline

yAy! Sherri!
yes, yes, and um................yes!
(and you were so eloquent!)
cheers
julie

(in reply to SherriA)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 2/11/2006 3:08:08 PM

Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beardedsub

maxplay i agree.sometimes i dont understand myself either.i seem to want to be sub most, but when i am with somebody else i seem to always end up being Dom.not as a choice ,mind you ,it just seems i have a hard time finding anyone that brings out my sub side.
mabey someday i wil find that person.

I totally agree with you there. I was convinced that I was a sub, and I still desire it from time to time now. Partly I had convinced myself, because I was raised that since I was born female.. then I must submit.. and partly due to some lingering issues with past abuse.

When the world of being a Domme was finally opened up to me in my mind.. I started to realize things and really come to terms with myself.

The few Master's I've had.. were because they brought out my sub side. They had achieved my respect rather than demanding it. I would have done anything for them.

But that is rare with me. More often I have been the "Dom" in my relationships. I have "built" men from boys. In most of my normal relationships, I am boss. In my house, I am boss and always have been. I have always been the one that everyone comes to for guidance.

It wasn't that I set out to be Dom in these instances, but merely a necessity. I used to beat myself up about it. Thinking that I needed to be submissive.

When a switch friend of mine, pushed me over the edge to roleplay Domme with him for my first time ever (he'd pissed me off to the point where I really did want to beat the crap out of him, not that I did or would have btw).. I enjoyed it.. really enjoyed it.. it came to be like breathing and felt natural. Thats when I really began to understand myself, accept myself. I threw off the shackles of what I thought was expected and began to really see who I was and embraced it.

(in reply to beardedsub)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 2/13/2006 6:19:34 AM

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/10/2006
Status: offline

Hi Im Switch new to board and to site, I was gonna\ ask do you find that Switches are mainly male or female, or just mixed, few Switches I have met, have all for most part appeared to be female,. also noted this, ya can see from people who are bi, how they are treated,because it is also assummed they in lot cases havent made there mind up?

ild love hear from fellow Switches

look forward to replys

(in reply to FistyMcfist)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 2/15/2006 10:35:57 AM

Posts: 132
Joined: 2/4/2006
Status: offline

I havent gone throught the whole thead yet but I needed to put in my 2 cents. I think the only way a person can be a good dominant is by experiencing it for themselves. Being open enough to be able to experience both a dominant and submissive would have to make you very intelligent to be able to destiguish between the two. Im alittle curious if switches have come up with new ways to dominate and subjugate that normal doms and subs wouldnt think about.

(in reply to MistressKiss)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 2/15/2006 1:54:59 PM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShivaTS

I havent gone throught the whole thead yet but I needed to put in my 2 cents. I think the only way a person can be a good dominant is by experiencing it for themselves. Being open enough to be able to experience both a dominant and submissive would have to make you very intelligent to be able to destiguish between the two. Im alittle curious if switches have come up with new ways to dominate and subjugate that normal doms and subs wouldnt think about.

Well you're wrong if you think that's the ONLY way a person can be a good dominant.

But it is a valid way and many dominants do also learn from being a submissive or bottoming.

And you don't have to be intelligent to do both- just oriented differently.

I don't think switches are any more or less creative in the realm of how to do Ds relationships than others.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ShivaTS)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 2/21/2006 10:39:56 PM

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Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

Unfortunately, the term 'switch' is a fairly recent addition to the vocabulary for BD/SM, and most of those that balk at the concept are those of the 'old guard', namely those that began in the lifestyle as either dominant or submissive and that was the end of the discussion right there for them. The introduction of the Internet, as with many other phases of life, opened this lifestyle to a great many more people, most looking for acceptance in a world that would, at the very least, look down their nose at those that enjoy either receiving or giving pain.

This really isn't even a lifestyle, so to speak, but more of another definition for the word 'relationship', since that is what it really is in the end. Just as there are those that refuse to accept homosexuality as another facet of the word, being a switch has the same negative connotations that will eventually be filed in the history books, metaphorically speaking.

In every single 'vanilla' relationship, there is an equal, usually, give and take of power. Perhaps it is not always a blantantly noticable exchange, but it still exists, if you look close enough.

As a dominant, I, personally, enjoy having the lion's share of the relationship in some aspects, but in others, my submissive has the lion's share. Does that make me a switch? I personally think not, simply because it is not a term that I honestly think applies to me. While I have a fairly docile nature more often than not, I have absolutely no problems in asserting myself, sometimes quite vocally. I do not bend my will to another simply because it is demanded, but instead because that other person has shown me that there is a reason that I should, if only on that one issue.

Being a switch, in my mind at least, is the ability to not only subjugate one's self to another's authority without reservation, but at the same time, have that strength of spirit that convinces others that there is a reason that you deserve their respect and obedience. The degrees to which both halves are utilized, of course, lies with the individual, but regardless of the frequency of either side's emergence, it is still there.

In layman's terms, which I relate to quite well, a switch is someone that enjoys being submissive, but enjoys being submitted to, as well.

Life is full of peciddilios, and being a 'switch' is one exclusive to BD/SM. It's neither wrong nor right, since there is no exact set of rules for this in the first place.

Je pense donc que je suis. I think therefore I am. In terms of this discussion, "I think I am a switch therefore I am a switch." Beyond that, it is simply opinions and no one should run their life based on another's opinion.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 3/6/2006 2:59:01 PM

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Joined: 12/4/2005
Status: offline

I find this all too reminiscent of my experiences as a bisexual person. I can tell you story after story of how I have been subject to scores of comments about how I am "experimenting" or "not sure of myself" or "just not able to make up my mind" or "clearly inexperienced" in both realms of sexuality. Sigh.

Sorry, folks, both being a sub and being a Domme both do it for me. I am a freak among freaks! Ain't it GRAND? LOL

Many thanks to all of the supportive folks who posted and for the showing of so many great switches out there. You renew my faith in our little section of Humanity!

(in reply to TheEmber)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 3/8/2006 7:48:30 PM

Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

First of all, I did not even know this person, had never emailed him, never interacted with him on this board or anywhere else. Hence, he doesn't know the first thing about me, or the second thing, and definitely not the third thing. Next, he does not identify as a switch, therefore has no concept of what that mindset is and can become. Rant, rant, rant, slap, rant, bitch slap, kick in the groin, swat, whip, whip, whip..

YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! It can be hard because from my own perspective it appears most that I come across want a person to be Either a bottom OR a Top...too bad for them ! I often assume both roles in the course of a single evening although I do not get to bottom very often anymore. There just aren't that many Good Tops that are available and that understand my dynamic.

I truly believe being a Switch is probably more common than people will admit...probably accounting for SO many Sammy's...and I feel it allows me to bring much more to the relationship knowing how to serve as well as be served.

Sadly I only get to truly be Dominated by a Mistress who loves Her power and savors my submission about once a year but I keep in touch with Her almost daily.

There appear many subs to play with and they seem to enjoy what I do with them so it is all good.

You really hit it on the head.

Thanks!!!

(in reply to SherriA)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 4/6/2006 8:31:17 AM

bignipples2share

Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

And we all know there are very giving Doms and very self centered subs out there.

___________________

Topping from the bottom has that label of just being a self centered sub. Maybe so, maybe that is what I am. What is the difference though, of a dom who is getting sexual pleasure by dominating a sub? Are they not self centered? Are they not doing what they want to obtain their big O? Well, I'll be the first to admit that, that is what I'm wanting and I want what I enjoy in order to obtain that.
I would hope that whoever I share my bed with, would be doing this for the pleasure they would receive in giving me exactly what I desire. Does that not equate to a sub in some way on their part? I want them to derive great pleasure in what they do, that need in them they have and their knowledge that it pleases me. Is this not dom in some way? Do I want to whip them, preform acts on them that is considered dom, uh no. During vanilla sessions, I'm giving and would want them to be as well. In everyday life, I have a pretty kicked back persona. This in no way implies that I am sub, can be walked all over, nor that I can't or wont defend myself. Do I want dom or sexual acts performed on me that I don't like, again no and I feel that I would retaliate, however, it would not be out of enjoyment, but anger and the end of a relationship. So, I guess I'm selfish, I want both of us to be enjoying it, just for different reasons, but the same outcome on both of our parts. Pure erotic, sexual, and intense pleasure. If it's not enjoyable for both of us, I don't wanna do it.

(in reply to CaptivusCruor)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/5/2006 10:24:36 AM

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Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Interesting thread on interesting topic. Switch aint easy but it is eating your own cake. Started a sub (profound, sincere) when required to Top found to my surprise how much I enjoyed it. I appreciated the beauty of the sub in bondage and in surrender to another a brave and creative human act, altogether. 'Both sides now' have their special vantages that enrich the Switch.

(in reply to FistyMcfist)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/5/2006 12:39:53 PM

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Lets see, a male submissive who isn't getting what he wants sends out a serious of emails to switches who enjoy dominating men. Some of them don't just delete his emails and instead get pissed off, write back verbally abusing him for being an asshole...his keyboard now all sticky, he crawls off to bed feeling all warm and fuzzy after being so thoroughly dominated...

He got his and all you got was a lousy email...

(in reply to robdorn)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/5/2006 4:09:06 PM

Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline

How to calm a switch in one easy lesson

Delete the e-mail from the jackass, go to the profile and block him from your life. Then go have freaky sex with your partner(s) and smile at the thought that he ain't had any of that in years.

(in reply to CrappyDom)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/5/2006 8:51:15 PM

Posts: 293
Joined: 4/27/2006
Status: offline

What a dick, and yeah, I've encountered some anti-switchness alredy, and i'm new to the lifestyle.

(in reply to FistyMcfist)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/5/2006 9:54:37 PM

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline

This sounds like a prime example of internet pontification. This is usually done by experts who have learned everything there is to know about BDSM by reading about it on the 'net, and are therefore qualified to judge r/t people.

_____________________________

Harry

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

Groucho Marx

www.desertdominion.org

(in reply to MistressKiss)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/14/2006 12:46:25 AM

Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Boy would that ever piss me off I'm not sure if that even comes close to how I would feel.
But there is one thing I think pisses me off just as much. I get so sick of telling someone I'm a switch and there next questions is what do you prefer domme or submissive.
Why should I prefer either one. I would think if I preferred submissive That is what I would be, and vise verse. I totally roll my eyes when I get asked this. It is like having to explain myself over and over again. Often even if i have a interest in the person that ruins the conversation.

AMEN!!!!!!! or ya gotta love the ones that come along and say well since you were a submissive I'd like to see how you serve.... or or even better well you were sub once come serve me.... its like hello get the stick outta your ass, just because I was a sub and can sub doesnt mean I'm going to sub for you.... please people be real, a little common sense is always appreciated. a S/switch is not sub is not Dom we are BOTH, take it or leave it but dont think you are going to just crack a whip and we'll come a callin..... or that you can kneel and beg and we'll provide something for you. Come to a switch with honesty and open eyes and we'll do the same for you. Just dont expect us to conform to some set of rules you may have in your head about what we are, because obviously as switches we conform to no rules but our own!

(in reply to raeanha)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/14/2006 1:21:55 AM

Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
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quote:

Lets see, a male submissive who isn't getting what he wants sends out a serious of emails to switches who enjoy dominating men. Some of them don't just delete his emails and instead get pissed off, write back verbally abusing him for being an asshole...his keyboard now all sticky, he crawls off to bed feeling all warm and fuzzy after being so thoroughly dominated...

He got his and all you got was a lousy email...

Not everyone replies to the e-mails but nonetheless it doesnt mean we dont have a right to be offended by it.....

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/14/2006 1:50:36 AM

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Joined: 12/7/2005
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So it would be safe to assume a psycho switch would top from the bottom and when you got pissed and said; Go ahead and top, he/she would ask for instructions, right?

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/15/2006 2:47:25 PM

Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

So it would be safe to assume a psycho switch would top from the bottom and when you got pissed and said; Go ahead and top, he/she would ask for instructions, right?

Wouldnt it be easier to just dominate yourself, lol?

_____________________________

Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

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