RE: Self Mutilation Video

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RE: Self Mutilation Video - 10/1/2006 5:37:45 PM

shyXscifi

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Joined: 5/25/2006
From: Rhode Island
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trannysub007 - what you describe your daughter going through sounds exactly like what I went through, even with the same reasoning behind it. After going through a suicidal period, cutting was a step forward for me. It was a way to deal that wasn't potentially fatal. I was never happy with it and began wearing long sleeves all the time to cover up the cuts and the scars. I cut from about 10th grade until my Junior year in college, and even now I still have moments when I want to fall back on it as a way to deal. You and your daughter have my sympathy, but know with enough support from friends and family she can break the addiction.

Unfortunately (and much to my own personal anger) self mutilation has become trendy these days. There are communities of teens online that post pictures of their "beautiful scars" and try to out angst one another, like it was a contest or some kind of fashion statement. I used to love Garbage, but since that song came out I've had a hard time liking them anymore. This epidemic doesn't need this kind of promotion. The people who do this for attention or acceptance within their social groups do have issues, but they're not the same issues that people who actually suffer from self-injury compulsions do and really... they just cheapen it. It shouldn't be thought of as sexy or beautiful or trendy or acceptable. That's only going to hurt people who do struggle with this problem.

/rant

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RE: Self Mutilation Video - 10/2/2006 6:09:28 PM

MaggieMommy

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I must disagree. Sometimes cutters (or burners or whatever), do cut because they feel happiness or other positive emotions.

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RE: Self Mutilation Video - 10/2/2006 6:29:59 PM

MaggieMommy

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Well, I think it's an awesome video and I agree with you, wholeheartedly. I know from whence I speak, as my husband and I are both former self mutilaters, who still engage in it from time to time. Our girl is still doing it fairly regularly. I have also had numerous friends who self harm. My husband and I have also engaged in alot of Vamperism, together over the years with each other. It can be a negative or positive experience depending on circumstances- like anything else. BDSM is a wonderful transition out of self harm for many people and to exclude them from our community is cold and senseless. In fact, these individuals are most in need of our consideration as dom/mes. We can do them so much good, and help them so much. And yes, it is often a sign of other mental issues, but so freakin what? We all have issues! It is far more constructive and possitive for people expressing themselves with SI, to be hurt by a loving dom / me and given positive (or negative if that is what helps) feedback during the scene when the sub is feeling scared and alone and masochistic than for them to lock themselves in the bathroom, feeling alone and a depth of self hatred some of you cannot comprehend. These are subs who need our guidance not our scorn or rejection. And I do think scars are beautiful, and to those who think SI is bad but are ok with scarification, tatoos and piercing... well, alot of people transition to those things while trying to curb the SI. And the idea that it's not ok unless it has a pattern is absurd. Cheers to my beautiful scarred angel, the princess with the chaotic 'pattern'!-- Jennifer

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RE: Self Mutilation Video - 10/2/2006 7:03:20 PM

MaggieDoll

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Cutting is a release, which can be interpreted as both ways.
I think this is really one of those things where you ask 100 people and get 150 different answers..

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RE: Self Mutilation Video - 10/7/2006 4:25:58 PM

Priceless

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First off, i find the term self mutilation way to extreme for "simple" cutting or burning.
When i think of self mutilation i think of people that rip theire eyes out, or put theire hand in a blender.
I prefer the term self injury.
I also think that its extreme stupidity to call self harming an alternative lifestyle!!!!!!
I do cut, and still do, but its not a daily thing anymore, but i dont think its a bad thing as the alternative usually can be to od on the medication i have, which could have the result in being in the hospial for days or my death, i know cutting is a bad choice, but nothing works as fast as cutting, it a easy fix, instead of working throu my emotions, as they are usually a mess and an sometimes is just something i have to do to feel better my brain tells me.
Theres a million different reasons for me to si, but it was something i figured out myself, not something i learned throu the media.
Self injury for most people is a form of coping, that dont give a form of sexual pleasure.

quote:

ORIGINAL: trannysub007
i suppose cutting could be viewed as a lifestyle if one was scarring his/her body in a pattern of some sort.

Honestly no.
I have made patterns, words, sentences like fat = no value, that still dont make it a lifestyle.

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RE: Self Mutilation Video - 10/8/2006 1:18:24 PM

amaidiamond

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I struggled with self harm for years, from the age of about 10 till I was about 18 the worst, I have not harmed myself in several months now, possibly even a year which for me is somewhat an achievement. I would not say I am mentally ill, nor do I have a lot of baggage with me, at least no more than most people i know, I would say that I am stable and fully sane and generally an upbeat and cheerfull personality.
Sometimes it was because I was angry, or sad or frustrated, I had no wish to turn the flood on someone else so I turned it on myself and in some of my darker periods cutting gave me back the ability to feel, to know I was still alive. Now I still sometimes have the overwhelming need to hurt, to be broken, laid waste, totally devestated, to feel myself taken apart bit by bit, not becuase I'm depressed or unhappy or angry, it's a deeper rooted craving than surface emotions - the main difference now is that I have someone who understands, that I can turn around and say "Please hurt me" and who I know can give me exactly what I need, broken down but also rebuilt afterwards and who also has no problem with me asking to be hurt.

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RE: Self Mutilation Video - 10/12/2006 5:37:19 PM

beltainefaerie

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I was a cutter for a number of years and it is something that I conquered through hard work and a psychiatrist's help. That said, I do love this song and Hurt by NIN, because they so accurately express what I felt at that time. This song is not just about cutting. It in particular points out that some people stave to feel worthy and some people drink, some people cut and others have their own vices. It seems like it really is a song about the pain of finding ones self. For me, cutting myself was about controlling the chaos within me. It was about distilling all the swirling emotions into a think line of red fire that I could understand. It was about blood and life being infinitely, intimately connected and by watching my blood flow, I could connect to being alive. It was about feeling something real when I was often lost in a world of spirits. It was also in some way about beauty, about making aesthetically pleasing patterns with the lines. I find the emotions ugly, but I found the blood beautiful.

Incidentally, I do NOT think that DoctorDubious was saying Shirley Manson was sexy because she had this problem, but rather that she was sexy AND had this problem. She is incredibly sexy in this video, despite the sadness of the lyrics.

Also, I think scars can be very sexy, just like any other body modification, but there is a difference between doing it to get the scar/piercing/brand/tattoo and doing it because of the need to hurt yourself. Those needs can cross over, however, and many of us do both. I did my own labia piercings in a combined fit of depression/desire to feel and curiosity to see what they would look like.
I also think that many of us meet our need for pain in our s/M relationships and shouldn't be so judgemental of the people that do it to themselves. My sister slave and I have talked at length about the pain meeting the same need that cutting/hurting ourselves used to, but it also removes the responsibility and control from us in a way that is even further releasing. I hope that makes sense and offers another perspective to people who are only looking at this one way.

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RE: Self Mutilation Video - 10/13/2006 1:07:00 AM

angharad

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I too know what its like to feel the need for pain to order the chaos inside. Not only do I understand your post, beltanefaerie, but I relate to it. You have expressed it far better than I ever could. Thank you

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RE: Self Mutilation Video - 10/13/2006 4:42:03 PM

beltainefaerie

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Thanks, angharad. I am glad to be past that point in my life of actually hurting myself, but the desire is still sometimes there. Especially if I haven't seen my Master or played recently.

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RE: Self Mutilation Video - 10/18/2006 3:17:41 AM

sailing4slaving

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dggs3t 4 rgf

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RE: Self Mutilation Video - 10/20/2006 7:03:35 PM

odinlove

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Who is SHirley Manson, the Mistress of Horror>?

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RE: Self Mutilation Video - 10/20/2006 10:28:27 PM

longtimemuse

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Joined: 10/20/2006
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Hmmm...been there...done that.

Cutting is generally a maladaptive behavior that young people use to cope with emotional pain that they do not know how to release any other way.

I have cut in the past. It is not glorious, it is not sexy, it is not a healthy way to deal with emotional traumas/issues. Cutting offers several perceived things in my experience.

It offers a way to bring pain to yourself, so that you have that power instead of others who might be hurting you in some way. It gives a sensation of "release" (which is actually just the endorphine release that a person gets when the body is injured). Cutting allows you to "punish" yourself for perceived sins or mistakes and gives a sence on pennience. or absolution. It is an mental/emotional safety valve thats not as safe as it seems.

I am now a grown up...well chronologically anyway

and have come to understand the madness behind some of my past methods.

Though I am not trying to come across as being judgemental, I do have to say that the idea of self mutilation being a subject of comparrison (even stated as an "alternative lifestyle" )on a D/s, BDSM, M/s site does leave me some what dismayed. I cannot see that particular activity as having any integral similarities. Yes...there is the pain aspect....but it is the reason behind the "whys" of the pain that make it acutely dissimilar.

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RE: Self Mutilation Video - 10/23/2006 5:14:13 PM

beltainefaerie

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longtimemuse, I enjoyed your articulate response and I do not think you sounded judgemental. Hopefully I won't either. I do disagree on one point related to this topic. I am curious as to whether anyone else, who previously cut themselves or otherwise self-mutilated finds release in pain play with a Master/Mistress/Top/Dom, etc now. I think they CAN have entirely different "whys" as longtimemuse pointed out, but I don't think that is always the case. I know that my Master absolutely abhors self mutilation. As his wife, my sisterslave was also a cutter at one point, we both have had that urge to hurt as part of processing emotional distress/turmoil/etc, in the past. When going through a grieving process or some other time of turmoil, we may now ask our Master for a rougher scene. This fills the need that cutting once did, without us doing damage to ourselves, and also forces us to relinquish control rather than taking the pain into our own hands. I think that is healthier, especially since we also enjoy BDSM for other reasons at other times. In other words, this is not our only or even primary connection to BDSM. My question for others is this: do you also think the motivations can be the same? If so, do you agree with me that the BDSM scenes/play/lifestyle (however you live) is healthier?

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Post #: 33