How do you do it?

How do you do it? (Full Version)

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nysupremefemme -> How do you do it? (1/2/2005 9:59:59 AM)
The formal interview. How do you do it? My preference is to take many so-called test drives on different aspects that I personally enjoy in the BDSM play in addition to assuring that the boy and I have a basis of mental connection. So, what is your preference? I encourage submissives to reply as well. How do you prefer that it be done? Mistress Kimberly

FangsNfeet -> RE: How do you do it? (1/2/2005 11:57:57 AM)
well well well, I have a 5 question psychological profile test that I have ppl take 1. Are you a vegitarian? 2. Do you like chocolate? 3. Which flower do you perfer the most? 4. What type of salad dressing do you perfer to use over all? 5. Who is you're favorite Winnie the Poo character? Based on those answers I decide if I can proceed with that person. If you want to know more on how it works just send me a msg on my profile and I'll explain. [&:] [image]local://upfiles/68772/B26E2DFD6A1F4AABAE1CCAE99C351DE9.jpg[/image]

scarletrose -> RE: How do you do it? (1/2/2005 12:43:43 PM)
No, Yes, roses, italian and eeyore. Ohh thats not the original post sorry. Actually i wasn't sure what you meant as an "interview" If it meant on the first meeting, i would only like to meet with the person, maybe discuss what each other enjoys in the lifestyle, but all in all i feel there is a need to see if things are going to click or not first before getting into any play, especially on a first meeting. Just my opinion though.

ThornBlood -> RE: How do you do it? (1/2/2005 1:57:13 PM)
Blinks I have no tests... I just talk

Lordandmaster -> RE: How do you do it? (1/2/2005 2:04:15 PM)
I don't. quote: ORIGINAL: nysupremefemme The formal interview. How do you do it?

TaurusMCMLVIII -> RE: How do you do it? (1/2/2005 7:22:37 PM)
I wouldn't call it a formal interview but my prefered process is to chat online followed by phone discussions and finally a non-play meeting in a public place. The purpose is to make the submissive as comfortable and relaxed as possible.

ShadeDiva -> RE: How do you do it? (1/2/2005 9:11:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet well well well, I have a 5 question psychological profile test that I have ppl take 1. Are you a vegitarian? 2. Do you like chocolate? 3. Which flower do you perfer the most? 4. What type of salad dressing do you perfer to use over all? 5. Who is you're favorite Winnie the Poo character? Based on those answers I decide if I can proceed with that person. If you want to know more on how it works just send me a msg on my profile and I'll explain. LOL! ~ShadeDiva

Focus50 -> RE: How do you do it? (1/3/2005 9:56:49 PM)
I don't do interviews.... BDSM is my lifestyle, not my job! Getting to know a new fem/sub is about seeing if we click enough to be potential life partners. D/s is what brings us together initially but if it's all we have in common, we're not gonna make it in a relationship! Therefore, it's really no different to how two vanillas may decide they're meant for each other.... We'll start with a casual coffee! Focus50.

NiteMare4sub -> RE: How do you do it? (1/4/2005 4:56:07 AM)
Always chat on line for quite a while, talk on phone, go over all the interests, the no no's, usually sign a contract through email, before any physical contact. Sometimes have a coffee or dinner together first, but not always.

topcat -> RE: How do you do it? (1/4/2005 6:10:52 AM)
M.Mare- Wow. I usually won't email more than two or three times with a prospect before expecting a meeting. I can't imagine investing more emotional energy than that before we had some chemistry existing. What if you did all that, and then she showed up and smelled like your sister? The main questions that I'll ask are 'Why do you do this stuff?', 'What does it do for you that a 'vanilla' relationship can't?'. It's amazing how many people can't answer that clearly- and such a pleasure when they can. Stay warm, Lawrence

proudsub -> RE: How do you do it? (1/4/2005 9:08:48 AM)
quote: usually sign a contract through email Personally i don't think it's a good idea to sign a contract before a face to face meeting. JMHO

lilldarlin -> RE: How do you do it? (1/4/2005 10:41:46 AM)
I beleve it is important to take the time to first determine if there are mutual interests and goals not only as far as D/s is concerned but Vanilla, too. This is usually accomplished via e-mail and phone conversations. Followed up with a meeting in a public place that is quiet enough for conversation in order to see if there is a physical attraction (as this is impossible to determin any other way). Once this phase is done then I like to go out on a few vanilla type dates doing things that encourage conversation (like playing pool or just for drinks somewhere or dinner). I would never "play" with someone until I have dated them sor awhile in a vanilla type and seen if the physical attraction led to a sexual attraction. Just likeing someone and thinking them attractive is not enough for me. Having vanilla sex is important as I have no desire to have a purily "play" type relationship.....I an greedy and want it all....I love vanilla sex so it is important to me that we are good together that way, too. I also think that vanilla sex goes a long way to building trust and an emotional connection necessary for a D/s relationship. Once I am confortable with the person I can move into "playing" with them. I feel that if a Dom wants me then they will take the time for my comfort level to be reached to Dom me. Only then can I relax and let my submissiveness come out fully. Otherwise, I feel I must keep my guard up due to the trust and confidence not being there. Do I expect to much from a potential Dom by asking them to take the time for me to get to know them first? I don't know, maybe but I feel that if I am going to let someone do the things I enjoy doing then I must be able to trust them implicitly.........I wont trust them just because they say I can. I may be a submissive but I am not that innocent.........

raininggirl -> RE: How do you do it? (1/4/2005 11:10:49 AM)
Email is great, but it only goes so far. And we all know that our online characters are not quite the same as our real life ones, seeing as they don't have accents, never fart, smell pretty neutral, and don't break off in the middle of a conversation to start texting someone else. So - I tend to move on to a face to face meeting as soon as is decent. After all, if there's no chemistry, and I don't fancy them, and they don't make me laugh, then they can be as masterful as they like, but they aren't whupping this ass! And so I just treat it as a date. Go for a couple of drinks, chat about stuff, you know. In my view, by being on sites like this one we've already established that we're both kinky. What I want to know is; are they sexy?

ARoseAndAnEye -> RE: How do you do it? (1/5/2005 2:28:35 PM)
Definitely got to chat a bit before getting into play. No. 1: SENSE OF HUMOR. I mean.... sometimes you just gotta stop and crack up at the hilarity of the whole obscene thing.... let it all out.... LAFF DAMMIT! Aside from that, you gotta be able to carry on a conversation. I can't STAND being with people (sub, Dom or Domme) who can't get a complete coherent, intelligent sentence out of their mouth. The scenic relationship may only last a few hours, but it isn't going to happen at all if I can't get them to speak to me.

sub4hire -> RE: How do you do it? (1/5/2005 3:54:35 PM)
quote: The formal interview. How do you do it? I never had any interviews. I just tried to get to know the people. Decided if I liked them or didn't then went from there. I did have my own lie detector test though. If someone was going to start a relationship lying to me I surely could'nt expect more out of them later on. As far as fangs post goes...I just have to know. What do they mean? Would I have been a contender? 1. Not a vegetarian but I don't do meat either. I only like...hamburgers..very thin. Otherwise all the meat and poultry in the world doesn't go into my body. 2. Chocolate is ok, butterscotch is better. 3. Carnation hands down 4. Blue cheese 5. ????winnie the pooh???? I assume if the answers are remotely the answers you would give they are a contender?

lovingmaster45 -> RE: How do you do it? (1/5/2005 6:13:57 PM)
I always ask; 1. Did you pay attention in the 5th grade? 2. Do you know the difference between to, two, and too? 3. Can you spell at a 5th grade level? 4. Can you conjugate a sentence? 5. Have you ever fucked Winnie the Pooh?

DameDarkness -> RE: How do you do it? (1/5/2005 6:45:51 PM)
Fangs you just had to do it didnt you?! LMAO silly! but honestly everyone Fangs method does work Dame

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