Did being a switch make it easier to learn and become more experienced?

Did being a switch make it easier to learn and become more experienced? (Full Version)

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MrSneeks -> Did being a switch make it easier to learn and become more experienced? (1/3/2005 4:12:58 AM)
I'm new to the lifestyle and am at a point where I'd like to start actually "doing" things as opposed to just reading. If one wants to be a dom however has absolutely no experience how could one realistically be with a sub/slave and know what he were doing? I saw some who said it would be a bad thing for a dom to be taught by a sub/slave for it would then be learning from bottom to top (or something like that). By being a switch did it help you learn/experience more and get a better understanding of your likes/interests?

AlphaGeek -> RE: Did being a switch make it easier to learn and become more experienced? (1/3/2005 7:07:41 AM)
It's hard to tell. I couldn't arrange for a control group so I could establish a base line for the learning curve. ;-) OK, now seriously. I'm not that switchy myself, perhaps only 5% of the time will I bottom/sub/whatever you wanna call it... I can;t really say whether or not being a switch had any differenct on finding out my own personal "good stuff". I suppose the answers could go either way, from "it cut the learning curve in half", right up to "I had to try it all from both sides, so it took me twice as long!". Short answer for the Geek, No I don't think being a switch effected my learning speed in matters related to bdsm. Cheers! AG A_G

MissP -> RE: Did being a switch make it easier to learn and become more experienced? (1/4/2005 10:37:05 AM)
It did for me - mainly because my partner has 20 years of experience, but the answer will differ from couple to couple [:)]

Suleiman -> RE: Did being a switch make it easier to learn and become more experienced? (1/6/2005 4:55:16 AM)
This is really one of those "Your Mileage May Vary" sorts of deals. I am of the opinion that the best sorts of dominants are those that have some experience as bottoms. There are advantages to this. You become familiar with what the actual sensations are from various toys. You have a better idea of how uncomfortable or difficult a particular form of bondage is. These two factors help a lot where safety is concerned, and also help you as a dominant decide how far you are going to go. It's also a good idea, in my opinion, to at least try switching a few times just to find out if this is something that you enjoy. Denying your inner nature is kind of contra-indicated by embracing an alternative lifestyle, IMHO. What bottoming can not do, however, is give you experience as a dominant. It is a useful foundation for dealing with submissives, by giving you a baseline impression of what they are experiencing, but it will require patience, experience, and empathy of a wholly different sort for you to keep control of the scene and to actually be the dominant partner. Learning to be dominant from a submissive partner can work, I have known of instances where it did, but for the most part you really want to find an experienced dominant to act as your mentor - not your dominant, but your advisor and teacher. Having an experienced submissive is extraordinarily helpful, however, since they can often suggest ways to improve your technique, or warn you about pitfalls in whatever games you have been playing. Also, it's just helpful if at least one person in the party knows the rules of the game, rather than having two inexperienced players fumbling about trying to figure out what the score is. Besides - if you're new to the scene, especially if you're into heavy pain play or severe bondage, having someone who you can trust to actually USE their safeword if there's a problem can be a real sanity-saver. Nothing kills the romance like a trip to the emergency room. Any way, them's my two bits. Sorry if I seem a little incoherent, it's five in the morning where I am right now, and I'm a little crispy. Good luck. ~S

rubytuesday -> RE: Did being a switch make it easier to learn and become more experienced? (1/6/2005 10:11:36 AM)
Just a quick aside if thats ok - welcome back Suleiman - I missed your posts :-)) smiles ruby

PerhapsitsFate -> RE: Did being a switch make it easier to learn and become more experienced? (1/6/2005 11:02:33 AM)
For me it was something I grew into, and though I call myself a switch I definitely identify with the submissive side of me more. I don't seek to foster the Domme side much more than I have, since my heart will always lie in submission. I did enjoy learning the mental side of topping, so that I can feel what is in the mind of one I am serving, but there are some skills I would rather admire from afar, so will leave those to the experts. Calling myself a switch enables me to be me when necessary, and hopefully I'll find the right match eventually.

westside -> RE: Did being a switch make it easier to learn and become more experienced? (1/26/2005 7:19:36 AM)
Being a 50-50 switch, I have to say yes it helps. When you're in one role, you can take notes and learn for the other. Wes

Laura -> RE: Did being a switch make it easier to learn and become more experienced? (1/26/2005 8:12:27 PM)
I find feeling both sides I do understand a lot more of the theory(?), emotions may be a better word. I don't have masses of real experience to draw on, I'm working on that. I don't think you have to pretend to be a sub to learn how to be a Dom. If you are a Dom you need to start there. You can learn from a sub, you can learn from anyone. But, there are different things to learn. If you want to use assorted tools and gadgets you need to learn from someone who already uses them well. A sub can tell you how they feel to her but that is an individual thing, not everyone has the same likes or likes the same intensity. If you want to learn about submissives and the emotions a sub feels you need to talk to submissives. Good luck.

ShadeDiva -> RE: Did being a switch make it easier to learn and become more experienced? (1/27/2005 12:25:45 AM)
Helped and helps me. ~ShadeDiva

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