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RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 8:06:14 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		It's interesting that people seem to associate being compliant with having no personality. Why is that? Can people actually not understand that there are people out there that are compliant AND personality? Being compliant does not remove ones personality.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 8:07:56 PM   
liljoy


Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline 		for this very reason i've never understood the "breaking of a slave" that i've heard some talk about i mean why go to the troube of hand picking a submissive or slave only to change what makes them who they are?

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 8:08:04 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

General reply:

Sometimes a slave is just a wayward lost soul in need of an identity and a place to live. 

If I were a Master, Id prefer a slave who already has it all, but is willing  to give it all up in order to serve out of pure need to serve,  not out of neediness. 
 
Sure, you hear alot of slaves who have nothing to their name but a T shirt, say I give it all to my master even the dollar bill I have left in my pocket.  What Id really love to see is an established career woman, home owner, with a Mercedes in her driveway, turn it all over to a master,  in the name of pure slavery.  Now THAT would be a slave.  




And yet,the reverse can be even more magnificent.
The one who arives bereft, and becomes sucessful in life DUE to being fortunate enough to find the support and guidance of he right man.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 8:10:31 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: liljoy

for this very reason i've never understood the "breaking of a slave" that i've heard some talk about i mean why go to the troube of hand picking a submissive or slave only to change what makes them who they are?
Because they weren't picked for who they are but what they could become.

< Message edited by MrDiscipline44 -- 8/29/2006 8:11:14 PM >

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to liljoy)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 8:16:19 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I have to agree with MrD. Sometimes, a slave is hand selected becasue they have incredible potential... but they dont have the discipline to submit completely.  Sometimes in order to find themselves, they have to have their will s broken so they can see what they are capable of.
Not everyone breaks their slaves.  some of us change them gradually, rather than the drastic restructuring. But no matter what, we always retrain them to our specific desires. Hand selected or not, a slave changes to sit their Master or Mistress AFTER the selection and service begins.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 8:18:51 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

General reply:

Sometimes a slave is just a wayward lost soul in need of an identity and a place to live. 

If I were a Master, Id prefer a slave who already has it all, but is willing  to give it all up in order to serve out of pure need to serve,  not out of neediness. 
 
Sure, you hear alot of slaves who have nothing to their name but a T shirt, say I give it all to my master even the dollar bill I have left in my pocket.  What Id really love to see is an established career woman, home owner, with a Mercedes in her driveway, turn it all over to a master,  in the name of pure slavery.  Now THAT would be a slave.  




And yet,the reverse can be even more magnificent.
The one who arives bereft, and becomes sucessful in life DUE to being fortunate enough to find the support and guidance of he right man.


Agreed.   I guess Im old fashioned and could even be called sexist because of this, but I still believe in the man actually being the man, even though the female submits and devotes herself to his pleasure.  I guess this would get complicated in a situation where a male is sub and the female is dom, but I would still see it as a gender issure.  To really really live this lifestyle the way we claim it should be, the man should still be the man, sub or dom.  <just my opinion>

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 8:20:24 PM   
liljoy


Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline 		hmm guess that makes sense

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Because they weren't picked for who they are but what they could become.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 8:24:42 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		And what about a man who makes his fortune becasue he has found the right woman who has guided him to what he needs to be? There is no questioning I am the "man" in our realtisonhip, and my boy very much isnt. its the roles we are most comfortable with. And while I am already in a fairly good career path, he is not yet. With my guidance and support, he will be.  But Its not just a sub finding the right MAN, its a sub finding the right OWNER.

my 2 cents.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to liljoy)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 8:28:14 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		~fast reply~ i am truly fascinated by this topic and the Story of O (i'm reading it a second time to see if i missed something the first time)... it definitely led the reader to believe (at the end) that Sir Stephen no longer desired her... whether she went into prostitution or died... the end result was that Sir Stephen no longer desired or wanted her.  In my opinion....she became so much of what he 'thought' he wanted, she became boring to him... there was nothing more he could do to her... she became useless to him...so he moved on.  In some instances, we see the same thing in this day and age... we just call it something different... 

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 8:31:24 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

~fast reply~ i am truly fascinated by this topic and the Story of O (i'm reading it a second time to see if i missed something the first time)... it definitely led the reader to believe (at the end) that Sir Stephen no longer desired her... whether she went into prostitution or died... the end result was that Sir Stephen no longer desired or wanted her.  In my opinion....she became so much of what he 'thought' he wanted, she became boring to him... there was nothing more he could do to her... she became useless to him...so he moved on.  In some instances, we see the same thing in this day and age... we just call it something different... 


Yes,we call people like stephen "jaded".

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 8:34:01 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire
But no matter what, we always retrain them to our specific desires.


I disagree, unless of course you are talking about teaching them preferences such as how you like your eggs cooked. But that is no different than what occurs in any relationship. Not ALL Doms train or retrain...many Doms allow a submissive to express their submission to him in ways that unfold naturally and grow in depth in concert with the levels of commitment, trust and bond established.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 8:35:44 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		"jaded" isn't exactly what i would have said

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 8:42:12 PM   
Miseri


Posts: 59
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Personally, I prefer my boy to keep his own personality, and his own opinions.  Though eventualy, his opinions will match mine for the most part, I like someone who doesnt automatically agree with everything I say just becasue I am his owner. He is never rude, and never out of line with his comments, and he knows very well when my word goes and notto argue.  However, it keeps things interesting when I know he may not agree and we might eba able to get into an interesting discussion.
Someone who is so compliant as to agree with everything all the time... gets boring REALLY fast.
In my opinion, anyway.

DV


That is how my Master feels, DV. He values who I am and my choices and beliefs but he also chooses to change certain aspects of me to make me a better person. Example being, he knows I hate the way I look right now and he has given me a scheduled daily exercise time. He knows I am not discplined enough to do it, so he has me do it for him per his instructions. He is content with my appearance, but not with the way it makes me feel. He wants a strong, intelligent submissive that is his equal in every aspect save the nature of our relationship and they way we interact with each other. He will never ask me to stop being who I am, but he will ask that I trust him to know what is best for me. I suppose that trust is the most important part of submission for me. I know that I don't need to question him in anything because I trust him and his reasons.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 8:46:12 PM   
addisonclarkgirl


Posts: 346
Joined: 7/16/2006
Status: offline 		i do have my own personality, and i am submissive.  i'm not looking for anyone to change that either.  i've been corresponding with a Dom for a few weeks, and i feel that He wants me to change.  Not only does He want me to change, if i don't, i might as well hit the road. 

i believe that there is someone out there who will accept me for who i am, and not wish to change me.  Even as a Dominant, He will be strong enough, secure enough to deal with who i am right now, and not feel as if He has to change the person i am.

_____________________________

I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set her free...Michelangelo


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Princess_of_Naughty_Pics

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 9:09:57 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		i think there is a difference between being accepted as you are and learning and growing and changing to be a better you for Him/Her.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to addisonclarkgirl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 9:22:53 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

"jaded" isn't exactly what i would have said


I was trying to be pc, for once. Mark the calenedar.

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 9:24:23 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: addisonclarkgirl

i do have my own personality, and i am submissive.  i'm not looking for anyone to change that either.  i've been corresponding with a Dom for a few weeks, and i feel that He wants me to change.  Not only does He want me to change, if i don't, i might as well hit the road. 

i believe that there is someone out there who will accept me for who i am, and not wish to change me.  Even as a Dominant, He will be strong enough, secure enough to deal with who i am right now, and not feel as if He has to change the person i am.


In other words, if someone sees you as not up to speed with them, they should just drop back to yours?

(in reply to addisonclarkgirl)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 9:29:23 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I agree with angelic, actually.  He may not want you to change, persay, but rather want to train you.  which, if you are looking for a Dom, is what is alwayys going to happen.  No Dom is going to accept you for what you are and leave it at that, tey are al going to want you to learn, to pick up on things they want you to know and to invcoporate them into yuor personality.  This doesnt necessarily mean giving up who you are, it just means modifying it.
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 9:33:14 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		Ofcourse, Homestead, it's not like it's about what the Dom wants. Right?

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: too compliant? - 8/29/2006 9:35:46 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		it's marked...

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 40
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