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RE: Switch/Switch - 9/12/2006 9:02:39 AM

Desiree2

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being monogamous in nature-- i would have to say switch/switch-- HOWEVER-- as stated already-- some are not.
Irreguardless, the cool part about being a switch- it doesn't matter if your partner is dom, sub or switch, as long as you are in the mood for they have to offer-- ;)
Just my humble opinion.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 10/8/2006 3:16:01 PM

analboytoyxxx

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dont think there are any "ideal" relationships, a relationship is a very individual thing,,,, what will work for a couple in one relationship may not necessarilly work in another.
I am new to switching till recently I was a Dom but now I figure as a switch I can explore my sub side and experience what I put on my sub, I look at it as if you know what both sides are like the better you can do your more dominant<for lack of a better word> side of your life.
i feel that if you do enter a relationship its decided long ahead of time whose going to be a sub or dom or how long the roles would be in pklace before they switch to the other , at least thats what I have seen

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RE: Switch/Switch - 10/8/2006 11:30:21 PM

MaamJay

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OK I may as well add to the confusion! For Master and my sub side (violet), now W/we are this way (W/we did start out opposite due to a unique set of circumstances at the time), W/we can't envisage ever switching back, He is Master to me and that's that. It's the way W/we want it and there is no confusion about roles. On the slight chance that His sub side should ever surface again (he hasn't for 3 years), he would find another Domme (online might even be enough as his sub side is very task orientated, or in real) to look after that. I would have no problem at all with His doing that should the need arise.

My Dominant side (Jay) is much more prominent though and has a true need to be exercised and satisfied, which isn't happening at the moment. Master recognises that fully and is very supportive of Jay finding a compatible male sub/slave. Ultimately, W/we envisage M/my operating more as a Duality rather than switching from one role to the other all the time, ie violet would ALWAYS be His sub/slave, at the same time that Jay would ALWAYS be Domme over Her sub/slave. Probably as much as to keep the confusion down and to keep the poly to manageable numbers as for any other reason, Jay is therefore seeking a sub/slave, not a male switch to fulfill Her needs. Obviously that male sub/slave would have to be comfortable with observing his Dominant also occupying a sub role, he would have to be also sub to Master in a Household sense (not a physical bdsm/sexual sense as Master isn't interested in that at all) and happy at being on the bottom rung of the hierarchy. Even with temporary subs that I have had so far, My also being sub to Master hasn't been an issue ... generally created a sense of awe with how much violet can take in terms of spanking/flogging compared to them taking it from Jay!

However, this arrangement obviously wouldn't suit everyone. In the local scene there are any number of combinations - from switch/switch couples, to those that usually occupy set roles and where either partner may arrange to temporarily bottom/Top another person to allow that other side a little outing. It really has to be whatever meets the needs of those people involved!

Mistress Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Switch/Switch - 10/24/2006 9:23:32 AM

Dnomyar

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How did switch equate to being poly? I have a switch sub who has her own subs. They never come into play with us. At times the switch has the need to be dominated. At other times the switch feels the need to be the dominate one. It is that simple.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 10/30/2006 7:29:00 AM

jthorne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Is the ideal pairing for Switch another Switch?

If you want a Master/Mistress that does not switch.. why would that be?

I would love that, it might mean I could be monogamous! *unrepentant poly grin* But there's something to be said for having a solid mistress...you always know what you'll get and it's stable. Same with having a solid sub. I wonder, though, why you didn't include subs in this query, just dom/mes...makes for some interesting inferences.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 10/31/2006 7:23:48 PM

AberrantSwitch

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One of the most fulfilling relationships I’ve had was with another switch. It wasn’t so much as one of us feeling sub that day and the other feeling dom. It’s more about wresting for control and the winner gets to be dom for the day. It’s not about who’s feeling dom and sub but who’s more aggressive that day and they make the other submit. It’s like a constant wresting match, does that make sense to anyone?

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Post #: 26

RE: Switch/Switch - 11/1/2006 5:32:02 AM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jthorne

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Is the ideal pairing for Switch another Switch?

If you want a Master/Mistress that does not switch.. why would that be?

I would love that, it might mean I could be monogamous! *unrepentant poly grin* But there's something to be said for having a solid mistress...you always know what you'll get and it's stable. Same with having a solid sub. I wonder, though, why you didn't include subs in this query, just dom/mes...makes for some interesting inferences.

(generic 'you' being used in this post BTW)

I presented the question that I did to see if while a switch feels it's ok to switch..many here say "OOHHHH NOOO.. not MY Dom/me. " I just find that odd as to what is good for them is not acceptable in their Dom/me? And if so, why not? Do you not take them seriously then? Then how do you justify that that (the switch) can be taken seriously and then get all upset when someone sees you (as a switch) in the same light?

Seems to me you feel that switching somehow invalidates a Dom/me. Do you then get upset if you are rejected by a non-switching Dom/me for the same reason that you have not wanting a switch to be in control of you?

I don't know what I am anymore these days. Sometimes I think about submitting..then realize when it comes right down to it, I can't.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 11/2/2006 11:53:39 AM

worshipmoons

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I am a bi poly switch and I love it.....which switch is a witch...which I also am....LOL....
Being a switch is like being in love...its different for everyone.....
Pamela

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RE: Switch/Switch - 11/2/2006 12:05:08 PM

LadyOunce

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I've never felt that need to be poly by default though I spent most of my life as both bi and switch though I stay with domination now for personal reasons.

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RE: Switch/Switch - 11/2/2006 10:25:32 PM

Aine

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Who's to say I'm not solid as a Domme when I'm Domme to my boyfriend and not solid as a sub when I'm sub to him?

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RE: Switch/Switch - 11/3/2006 10:01:11 AM

damia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
But, there are times that a switch needs to have anolther partner that does not switch.

Now why is this?

i'd like to share my personal experience as it involves this. This last summer, i met a great couple at Pennsic XXXV, and got to know them over the first week and into the second week. A switch couple, they don't switch with each other. He is dominant in their relationship, and she is submissive. However, she has shown increased interest in exploring her dominant side, and He is training her in such. This is where i come in. i am submissive, not switch. So the three of us talked a lot, discussed what they wanted, and what i'd be comfortable with, and we had a great scene. If i did not live so far from them (they are in Ohio), i'm sure it would become more than the single scene. They have since decided to search for a submissive for her, so she can explore her dominant side. They don't want another switch to complicate the relationship (what a triangle that would be!), but someone to submit to her (and thus to Him, as He is her Master).

On a side note, i'm willing to bet they will be looking for a male Gorean submissive to fit into their Gorean relationship. After all, Gorean male slaves rank much lower than females, right? So it would only be appropriate to give His kajira her own slave (forgive me, i forgot the term for a male Gorean slave). Fits well for them, but male Gorean slaves would not have dominance, eh? So it fits into their Gorean lifestyle as well.

i hope that makes sense, and i thank all for allowing me to give my opinion.

damia the Kat

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RE: Switch/Switch - 11/3/2006 12:10:56 PM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: damia

They don't want another switch to complicate the relationship (what a triangle that would be!), but someone to submit to her (and thus to Him, as He is her Master).

Thank you for your thoughts... however the above bothered me.. a switch can COMPLICATE things?

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 11/3/2006 12:11:31 PM >

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RE: Switch/Switch - 11/3/2006 2:44:50 PM

damia

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i believe the exact reasoning there is that unless the switch is willing to always be submissive to both Him and His kajira, there would be the complication of the third person's desire for dominance needing to be fulfilled, and also, as i see it (i'm not sure this is what they feel, but this is the feeling i got from them), just because someone's compatible in personality and in submission, does not mean their play style will be compatible in dominance, so there would be that complication of finding someone that is compatible to one or both of their's submissive needs as well as compatibility in personality to both and the third person's submissive needs being compatible with her as his Mistress, or accepting that he will need to look elsewhere for yet another person to bring into their group (whether permanently or not). They are pretty private people, from what i've felt when i was hanging out with them, and from talking to them since, so i doubt they want that growing family. Maybe i'm wrong there. If he is willing to be only submissive to them, and does not have a high desire to be dominant (i think that some switches are like that, they don't desire to be dominant or submissive as much, leaning toward one or the other? Please correct me if i'm wrong.), then there would not be as much complication, but i think they just feel they don't want to deal with it (i cannot speak for them, so this may be completely off track).

i think anytime one has to look at an extra factor of compatibility, that adds complication, and this is probably what the couple i know are thinking.

i'm sorry, Ma'am, some of this is speculation based on what i -assume- from what they have told me. They aren't on collarme that i know, but i'll see if they are, and if so, i'll point them to this thread so they might better explain it.

damia the Kat

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RE: Switch/Switch - 11/4/2006 10:38:53 AM

beltainefaerie

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From personal experience, I would say that I don't have to switch, it is just fun. I was perfectly content just being submissive, but my Master encouraged me to top his wife with him and we played with our other friend spontaneously one day and now I do enjoy the dominance. If he had not encouraged this, I would have stayed sub, but I am glad to expand my horizons. I now have my own brat and she is fun when I'm feeling dominant. I think I could switch in the same relationship, but it is hard to say. I have switched with casual scene partners, but not in a stable relationship.

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Post #: 34