quote:
ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
If you are a s-type... do you have/want/wish for a relationship where you are considered equal?
Well, I think of it in these terms- any relationship is, essentially, a trade agreement between two people. My submission to him is a trade for his dominance over me. In order for a trade agreement to work properly, it must be mutually beneficial. Thus, the joy I recieve from submitting to him corresponds directly to the joy he recieves from that submission and his own dominance over me. In those terms, we are equal in what we bring to the trade agreement- the capacity for the fulfillment of each other and ourselves, through our differences. (I apologize for borrowing heavily from Ayn Rand here, haha.)
I don't expect nor want the balance of power between us to be equal. That is, to me, part of being submissive to another, is to give up an absolutely equal split of power. Again, I see this as a trade-off in many ways. I want to be treated as though I matter, yes, to be loved and cherished and expected to know my place in our balance of power, and to have equal say in the areas that are outside of our D/s interactions and times, but I do not want to have equal say in how everything is handled. That is not part of handing power over to another.
On the same token, I believe as a human being, I am very much equal in capacity to my Dom, and we both have advantages and disadvantages to each other in different areas. A dumb example of this would be he can mow the lawn, whereas I cannot due to allergies, but I pull in more income to pay for the lawnmower and the house that has the lawn to be mowed. We each have different abilities and weaknesses, but our capability to make things work and our lives function in our relationship is on equal ground.
As far as looking for a relationship with equality, yes, I do seek that, in a way, in making friends. Friendship, for me, regardless of the "type" of individual it is with, is equal ground to me. I do not make friends to submit to, I make friends to have someone to talk to on the same level I am at, with each having equal weight to their opinions. I make friends looking for that sort of balance, and would not seek out or continue any friendship where that equality is not present.
Wow, I don't think any of that actually made sense. It's been a long day.
behindmirrors.
