RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/5/2006 11:08:37 PM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WildnWicked

Come to think about it.. it makes sense for an alpha to be attracted to another alpha.

Why wouldn't I want the best the pack has to offer? Why wouldn't I want another leader to be by my side.

Funny thing is, on another site there is this compatibility checklist.. we are 100% compatible.

Well a Dom male might be 100% compatible until I came at him with a strap-on.... then I would dare to wager that the compatibility would decline a bit at that point.

(in reply to WildnWicked)

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/6/2006 1:53:57 AM

willful

Posts: 13
Joined: 1/29/2005
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You know there is no set characteristic for people who are dominant, submissive and whatever else is out there.

Some of the posts are a bit silly to pigeon hole set characteristics to a specific type of person. At the end of the day we are all people, whatever put us here did not say

"She's a dominant, so she must be attracted to a submissive"

And just because someone has a strong character doesn't mean they are submissive, really come on. If you are attracted to a "Dom" because of their character thats fine. Try and come to a compromise or turn them or something.

If on the other hand you are attracted to a dom because of what they do chances are you may on some level fancy is being done to you or part taking in it or lord knows what.

People are complicated, they aren't just Dom or sub

(in reply to WildnWicked)

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/7/2006 3:53:11 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
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greetings

yes it is true some just by being who they are, are very tasty is the word i would use and i would not switch but i do enjoy speaking with this one dom who is a yes tasty but i have a trust level that is zero lol so i would talk that is it

mons

(in reply to Samwhiplash)

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/7/2006 9:13:07 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WildnWicked

Come to think about it.. it makes sense for an alpha to be attracted to another alpha.

Why wouldn't I want the best the pack has to offer? Why wouldn't I want another leader to be by my side.

Wow I couldn't have explained it better myself. I had a D/D relationship and still to this day he qualifies more as my alpha than a dom. He wasn't and still isn't kinky but he just walked into a room and people would stop and say Yes Sir. I still find him sexy as hell years later.
My boys are told of this up front, for honesty sake I list as a switch but as the macho doms soon find out it doesn't mean I switch for just anyone. My favorite saying: I may be a bitch, but baby I'll never be your bitch.

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(in reply to WildnWicked)

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/23/2006 2:35:50 PM

degradess

Posts: 68
Joined: 7/15/2005
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Nothing wrong with a good romp with a dom you like. I like strong men too, could never consider a long term with a weak man. Besides, being a domme, if I find the right man we could co dom and have fun sessions and make more money.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/23/2006 6:16:38 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WildnWicked

Come to think about it.. it makes sense for an alpha to be attracted to another alpha.

Why wouldn't I want the best the pack has to offer? Why wouldn't I want another leader to be by my side.

Funny thing is, on another site there is this compatibility checklist.. we are 100% compatible.

It seems to me you equate submission in sexuality with a weak or lesser personality. And it seems you equate dominance in sexuality with strength and an otherwise interesting personality. I think neither equivalence is valid.

I wonder whether that you yourself once submitted helps you see a flaw in the equivalence you suggest.

If you see someone who enjoys submission as inferior, you might be giving off a vibe that reflects how you feel, which might in turn influence your interactions with submissives.

I think compatibility and to whom one is drawn is a lot more complex than just the BDSM role with which the other identifies.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 9/23/2006 6:55:57 PM >

(in reply to WildnWicked)

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/23/2006 6:29:44 PM

Misstoyou

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Joined: 9/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WildnWicked

Why wouldn't I want the best the pack has to offer?

I find males of all stripes attractive, but I don't equate dominant men with the best men the pack has to offer.

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/23/2006 7:15:44 PM

Smythe

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

quote:

ORIGINAL: WildnWicked

Why wouldn't I want the best the pack has to offer?

I find males of all stripes attractive, but I don't equate dominant men with the best men the pack has to offer.

I like all kinds of men, too. But I have to admit that I find something vaguely distasteful about the fact that men have so much power in our society already, and they want to be sexually dominant as well. I mean come on, don't you have plenty already? Just seems like overkill to me. I like a nice humble Dom!

Smythe

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(in reply to Misstoyou)

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/24/2006 1:41:24 AM

lunamor

Posts: 52
Joined: 6/9/2005
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"I like a nice humble Dom"

:-) People look at me strangely when I say I like humble men: in my mind I'm thinking of slaves, but come to think of it I could probably find a nice, humble Dom attractive (for some vanilla romping).

Lunamor

(in reply to Smythe)

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/24/2006 2:08:53 AM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
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From: Austin, TX
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Perhaps it would help this discussion if we calibrate our terminology.

When one says dom, what exactly does that mean? I am sure the meaning is deeper than simply a man who specifies dominant male for his description at time of creating his collarme profile ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to lunamor)

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/24/2006 10:53:01 AM

Skier

Posts: 52
Joined: 1/1/2004
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There is a lifestyle Mistress in New England who has been married to Her slave husband for about 20 years. I know them personally and have been to their house. She believes that if two people are attracted to each other then these D/s roles can somehow be negotiated. That love conquers all, I guess you could say. She can cite numerous examples from real life couples (and I've seen a few myself) who have worked around 'role' strictures. It takes motivation and compromise. I tend to believe Her.

(in reply to undergroundsea)

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/24/2006 11:03:49 AM

wild1cfl

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Mistress Sam,
My wife and I are both Dominants and we have been married for over 20 years, we have 3 wonderful children together and love each other more than ever. Our relationship is first and foremost just that, our relationship. Yes in a way it is vanilla in that we take care of the kids, work, shop cook and clean house, but the thing that is most important is that we respect each other. I know that my wife is the Alpha Dominant in our D/s relationships, but in our everyday life we are equal partners. In our D/s life we enjoy sharing our Dominance with others, both male and female. Yes this means that we are polyamorous but we both understand that this is what we both need to fulfill our Dominant sides. We also enjoy sharing in everything that we do, we share our submissives completely and we always have. Should the submissive try to be more attentive to one of us rather than the other, we try to help them understand how our relationship works. We are the primary relationship and it will never cease to be that way. Some have tried to get between my wife and me but have never succeeded. We do have a wonderful submissive female who does understand our relationship and is quite content with being a part of it in the way that she is able to mainly because she realizes that she gets twice the love and caring that she would get from only having one Dominant.

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My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

(in reply to Samwhiplash)

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/24/2006 1:06:59 PM

MistressSassy66

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Try as I might to get along with them it always seems like a competition of who has the stronger will.There has been one or two that I have hit it off with and We are great friends still.One in particular I have a relationship that enables Us to get out some energy with no holds barred wrestling.Its very intense and ends with both of us bruised and battered,its not about winning either its all about the animal side of aggression.

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In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/25/2006 9:17:18 AM

DualDeities

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Joined: 9/3/2006
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(From the female half:)

I agree with the alpha comment; that is the basic premise to my partner and I. We are engaged, both professional and lifestyle Dominants, and share the "helm" so to speak, with both our business and our relationship.

My primary attraction to him was that he, unlike other men I'd encountered, did not kowtow to me. Even allegedly Dominant men would bend over backwards to accommodate my wishes, and submissive men would completely lose themselves inside any desire or expectation I had of them. While this is all well and good for getting your way, it does not fill a need for the type of companionship I have with my partner. There is a validation as a Dominant you receive from someone you deign your equal that simply isn't there from a submissive (and accordingly, the worship and obedience craved from a submissive I will never receive from my partner). We are closed-relationship polyamorous, and understand that not all needs (personal or practical) can be met by one person alone.

I find common ground with my partner, as I feel we both have common goals as Dominants. Not to put all Doms and subs into end-all be-all categories, but your average lifestyle submissive operates from a desire to be loved, protected, and kept secure inside their relationship. My partner, while being fanatically loyal to me, has goals of furthering our company, protecting the family, and providing a future for us and ours. I share these goals, so I never have to wonder if we are working at odds with one another. I never have to question his motivations or methods, because I know I would operate similarly. So there is an intuitive amount of trust to build on from the very beginning, that only got stronger as time went on. I could go on and on, but I'll leave writing a book for another day. ;)

Warmly,

DD

< Message edited by DualDeities -- 9/25/2006 9:20:21 AM >

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RE: Being Domme... finding Dom men attractive - 9/25/2006 9:49:57 AM

EbonyFtshGoddess

Posts: 446
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From: Hollywood Hills, CA
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i'm domme & i only find dom males attractive. i only take dom males as lovers.. providing of course they are more dominant than i am. that's probably because i have no *sexual* contact with my slaves. i view them as slaves-not lovers and my profile states that.

i don't see a problem with it nor do i consider it switching. i couldn't domme someone one day and have them dominate me the next.

i just love and enjoy dom males mmm especially in leather uniforms.

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