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help needed - 1/7/2005 7:11:06 AM

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/7/2005
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hi there everyone....i am new here. i also am a new slave. i have a wonderful online Master who is just perfect for me. i am going through lots of different feelings and stuff at the moment and just want someone to talk to about it all.......so far everything has been fine, i dont have a problem with anything He has asked of me.....today that changed. He told me He wanted to see me pee in front of Him into a bowl.....and i couldnt do this......i feel a failure and although i was punished my Master said i needed more time and was understanding. i didnt use my safe word. i guess i could have. What experinces have you guys had of dealing with this 'humilation' thing, i know i have to get my head around it , i want to serve my Master totally, but would gladly love some advice!.....what happened to you?

RE: help needed - 1/7/2005 8:34:05 AM

Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline

Hello Boo,
the humiliation thing is not for me. I do not enjoy the feeling of 'freezing' of embarassment, but it is BECAUSE it is difficult for me that it can sometimes work to push my submission level down futher. I can more or less now predict that if something is difficult and i obey regardless, then subspace is entered, whereas with lighter play, this is not always the case for me.

As for being punished, (yep, another area i struggle with not being a naturally submissive person), id be punished for not trying. Saying no to a demand from my Dom would need to be accompanied with a safe word. Saying no, or not trying is not desired by most dominants.

Saying that. Water sports i presumed would not be my thing, do nowt for me, but i mentioned id find it embarassing, that was it, it was on the menu for the headfuck alone. I actually got stage fright, and despite not having a problem, just could not remember how to pee! So bloody frustrating, that i snapped to my waiting D, if you think its so easy, you try it. Yes, well....thats the last time i suggest that!

Seems like your D is willing to assist you to achieve being able to do this. Im sure if they see your trying, that will go a long way toward pleasing them, and the goal will be achieved.

Humiliation screws with my head. I have to work hard to endure it. But if this were easy, id be bored by it.

goodluck

(in reply to boo1962)

RE: help needed - 1/7/2005 10:13:04 AM

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Apparently I read posts a little close than most...I dunno.
How can you and your perfect online Master watch you pee into a bowl in front of him?
You did proclaim he was online.
You also proclaimed he wanted to "watch" you pee into a bowl.

I don't get how the both of those statements can go together.

As far as humiliation goes, off topic or on however you want to view it. Many are really big into humiliation. It is a fetish. I'm sure the dom just wants to see how far you can be pushed. It is a mind game in my mind, nothing more. If you beat the game, well he will have to come up with a new one.
I honestly have no advice on how to handle it. I've never been humiliated in my life really. Sure there have been some uncomfortable situations but I cope.

(in reply to boo1962)

RE: help needed - 1/7/2005 10:18:00 AM

Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline

Did you ever discuss with him what your limits are? Maybe you need to re-evaluate them. I just think it should be unnecessary to use a safe word unless extreme pain was involved, JMO. I don't know your situation regarding this online thing, there have been a lot of discussion about online D/s, but I couldn't pee in front of a webcam.

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to boo1962)

RE: help needed - 1/7/2005 11:23:18 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

May I ask why peeing in front of someone is hard for you? I think that's the bit I'd evaluate. The way I see it, when you are comfortable enough with someone to swear to obey them, you should be comfortable with all your bodily functions in relation to them.

I think maybe I'm a bit fanatical about accepting that bodily functions are natural though.

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~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to sweetpleaser)

RE: help needed - 1/7/2005 12:05:42 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

May I ask why peeing in front of someone is hard for you?

Have you ever watched the discovery channel. When someone pee's in a lake and those worm things go up inside their urethra's and give them a wicked infection.
Sorry, but that sentence made me think of that.
I picture squatting down taking the pee and some worm see's you. Climbs right up...

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: help needed - 1/7/2005 12:11:14 PM

Posts: 456
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

Candriu it’s a worm-like parasite catfish with spines like an umberlla that open up inside the urthra ..they have to amputate to save the guys life.

(in reply to sub4hire)

RE: help needed - 1/7/2005 12:41:20 PM

Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline

okay, now this thread has turned scary

Seriously though perverse...I agree that if you are comfortable with the person you will pee in front of them but I believe she is talking about online only and doesn't have that intimacy set up. I could be wrong.

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to mantis65)

RE: help needed - 1/7/2005 12:50:03 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Have you ever watched the discovery channel. When someone pee's in a lake and those worm things go up inside their urethra's and give them a wicked infection.
Sorry, but that sentence made me think of that.
I picture squatting down taking the pee and some worm see's you. Climbs right up...

Oh god. Ok, I'd have trouble peeing in front of evil urethra parasite fish too :)

And I'm an advocate of the "reality" of online relationships, but I don't know where I come down on this issue. I still think that before you promise total obidience to someone you should probably be able to pee in front of 'em. Online or offline. IMHO, of course.

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~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to sub4hire)

RE: help needed - 1/7/2005 1:39:28 PM

Posts: 145
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

Hi Boo,

Seems to me that you may be projecting your own hesitations onto your dom. Maybe you're afraid he'll find it repulsive or disgusting because you do. If so, I don't agree at all with previous posts that you need to change your opinion of it; you just need to realize that your opinion is irrelevant. You've committed to do as he wishes. That means you have to take his wishes at face value and stop secondguessing what his real reaction would be.

kyakitten

(in reply to boo1962)

RE: help needed - 1/7/2005 2:37:36 PM

Posts: 238
Joined: 10/14/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

quote:

May I ask why peeing in front of someone is hard for you?

Have you ever watched the discovery channel. When someone pee's in a lake and those worm things go up inside their urethra's and give them a wicked infection.
Sorry, but that sentence made me think of that.
I picture squatting down taking the pee and some worm see's you. Climbs right up...

Oh my god... Thank you for a tea soaked key board and screen.

That was just too damn funny!!!!!
Still laughing.. and I'm NEVER peeing in a lake again.

MsC

_____________________________

I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.
Spiral out. Keep going, going...
Lateralis.Tool

(in reply to sub4hire)

RE: help needed - 1/7/2005 3:37:31 PM

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

you just need to realize that your opinion is irrelevant. You've committed to do as he wishes. That means you have to take his wishes at face value and stop secondguessing what his real reaction would be.

She certainly has a choice here. She can say no that is a limit of mine, or say maybe when i know you better, or sorry if that's what you enjoy then i'm not the right sub for you, or say no that is something i don't wish to do and wait for her punishment.IMHO

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to kyakitten)

RE: help needed - 1/7/2005 4:57:15 PM

Gordy

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/6/2005
Status: offline

Believe if you ask enough querstion before ever scening will know what want and what maybe want to try . never should give sub a order you don't know she really wants to do any way.Gordy

(in reply to proudsub)

RE: help needed - 1/7/2005 7:16:30 PM

Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline

boo1962,

In most cases as i understand it, as a slave, it's not acceptable to most Masters to refuse anything they demand. In my case, if i have an issue with anything i am to do, i would simply do it, then i'd be certain to discuss my feelings with my Master after the fact.

i've never been asked to pee regardless, and have no input to offer directly related to that. i can say that it sounds to me you should discuss these feelings of failure with your Master. Communication is a very important thing in any M/s relationship. i know that if i had any issue regarding our relationship, my Master would preferre being the first to know about it, and would not care to know (to say the least) that i've asked the advice of forum members rather than confide in Him.

¸,ø¤º°cynnacent°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

P.S.

quote:

Candriu

http://www.anoca.org/fish/blood/candiru.html
The candirú or canero (Vandellia cirrhosa) is a freshwater fish in the group commonly called the catfishes. It is found in the Amazon River and has a reputation among the natives as the most feared fish in its waters, even over the piranha . The species grows only to a size of an inch in length and is eel shaped and translucent, making it almost impossible to see in the water. The candiru is a parasite . It swims into the gill cavities ofother fishes, erects a spine to hold itself in place, and feeds on the blood in the gills, earning it a nickname as the "vampirefish of Brazil".

It is feared by the natives because it is attracted to urine or blood , and if the bather is nude it will swim into an orifice (the anus , vagina or even - in the case of the smaller specimens - the penis and deeper through the urethra ). It then erects its spine andbegins to feed on the blood and body tissue just as it would from the gills of a fish. The candiru is then almost impossible toremove except through an operation, usually involving the amputation of the area. A more expensive option is the use of twoplants, the Xagua plant ( Genipa americana ) and the Buitachapple which are inserted (or their extract in the case of tight spaces) into the affected area. These two plants together willkill and then dissolve the fish. More often, the pain causes shock and death in the victim before it can be removed.

i'll still pee in the lake, just not the Amazon River.

< Message edited by cynnacent1 -- 1/7/2005 7:17:55 PM >

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(in reply to Gordy)

RE: help needed - 1/8/2005 1:34:23 AM

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/7/2005
Status: offline

Just wanted to say Thank you to everyone for advice, and for telling me about the little horrid worm thing!......mmm???.......i know why He is making me do this and once i have done it i dont honestly think He will ask me to do it again, it is a mind fuck thing def......to see how far i would go...but dont you have to do this dort of thing to find out what your limits are? i am very new so forgive me if i am sounding stupid and niave. Anyway thanks again. x boo

(in reply to boo1962)

RE: help needed - 1/8/2005 1:54:30 AM

Posts: 69
Joined: 10/7/2004
Status: offline

I would say... sometimes you know what your limits are without testing them. I certainly have hard limits which I've not needed to experience to know they're hard limits.
On the other hand, there are "soft" limits... you think you don't want to, but maybe it turns out you do, either because you personally enjoy it, or because your dom does, and you want to please him.
In the context of a D/s relationship, limits get pushed/ stretched. The longer you're together, the further your Dom/Master knows he can push, and the more receptive you are to it.
My Master and i share some of the same hard limits, so that works very well. Also, although I am allowed only the limits he chooses to give me, I know in my mind, heart, and soul that I can trust him completely to not push me further than I can handle. He just won't, and that's one of the things i love about him.
I know only the little you've said about your relationship, but i'm inclined to think that the trust and intimacy needed for real limit pushing would be hard to build online; I think of it as spending time together, developing one on one intimacy. Although, that's just my feeling: it's what feels right for you that counts. Just make sure you take care of yourself, okay?

Well, hope I was at least a bit informative. :) And as to naive and stupid... you most definitely do not sound stupid, and everyone's naive about something(s)! So I hope you feel free to ask any questions you have. :) *hugs* ~daisy~

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Proudly and happily owned by MasterSpydog

(in reply to boo1962)

RE: help needed - 1/8/2005 8:03:16 AM

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

"...wonderful online Master..."

Just wanted you all to know, I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY biting my lip, and various parts of beth in order not to reply in this thread. Was really hoping someone else would do it for me.

However, think it would be fun one day to venture into 'On-line Land' and solicit 'slaves' to pee while doing head stands!

(Couldn't resist at least one sarcastic comment. The image that comes to mind is John Belushi walking down the stairs in Animal House and 'critiquing' the guitar player - Sorry!)

Merc The Just

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 1/8/2005 9:01:01 AM >

(in reply to boo1962)

RE: help needed - 1/8/2005 8:42:04 AM

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/7/2005
Status: offline

Sorry you feel like that but you are lucky enough to have a real time relationship, i am not. i am lucky i have found a genuine and sane safe Dom to help me. Sometimes peoples lives dont allow a RT Dom/sub scene.....it works for me so you shouldnt knock it.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

RE: help needed - 1/8/2005 9:09:09 AM

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/7/2005
Status: offline

i should also add that i was waiting for someone to mention the online thing. I know there are a lot of fakes and wannabees in the cyber world BUT there are also a lot of wannabees in the RT world. Anyway I am digressing from my original post. I only wanted some help, and I am grateful to the people who are a bit more understanding and not so pompous as to feel that their way is the only way.

(in reply to boo1962)

RE: help needed - 1/8/2005 9:23:10 AM

Posts: 483
Status: offline

quote:

"...wonderful online Master..."

If you ask for help in a public forum, please accept that this help may come in ways that you may not appreciate.

While I understand that everyone cannot live a 24/7 BDSM relationship, I also know that you cannot get a feel for what it is really like by being in cyberworld.

If a friend or workmate told you that at night, they were instructed by someone on another computer, that they really have no idea who they are, to sit in front of a web cam and pee in a bowl, what would your first thoughts be?

If you have to bend over backwards to have a realtime relationship, do it!

It's beats bending over backwards in front of your computer!

_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

(in reply to boo1962)

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