RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ?

RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (Full Version)

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MsPurrmeow -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/8/2005 12:45:18 PM)
Interesting. It's easy to understand, though, that the forum members here do NOT reflect the world at large. When meeting newbies or less-experienced people, I get told that I'm not "playing the role right" when we meet. More experienced people can sit and have a conversations about politics, cats, and local cuisine, and we can still know who we are inherently. If they want to "play" at the first meeting before we even leave a restaurant, then they are obviously not looking for the same thing I am. I meet people as people, they need to understand and accept that there are no obligations to behaviors, actions or anything else until a lot further down the road. If they think they need that to convince them of who I am, then they have a lot more growing and learning to go before we are going to connect. Purr

sterlingsweet -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/8/2005 7:20:23 PM)
With my first mistress, we started online, we talked and got to know each other as people, after we were feeling we were compatable and liked each other and wanted to pursue a D/s relationship we started that on-line but meet very quickly after that. It being a (short) long distance thing she drove up and I went back down to her place and spent a month R/T with her last Summer and also 2 weeks last Fall. We used the times to be predominately in D/s mode but also had lots of down time were we spent talking and just getting to know each other on deeper levels. We are still very close.

Darthbetta -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/9/2005 12:01:32 AM)
I feel very vindicated now by this thread :) thank you all. Being " REAL" is what this is all about. I keep it such, and too bad the "fantasy" Greenies and n00bs tend to not understqand it. I have been called Fake, Un-domly and other crap before, and I and many others KNOW the differances in IRL and On-line jokesters. Saddly, "expectations" are wrong and I am glad that many people here seem to want the "package deal". Thank you :)

sweetnygirl -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/9/2005 8:39:27 AM)
I agree with lilninotchka in that I want the Dom to be the person. I need to be attracted on both levels to even consider going any further than just meeting with them. For me if they aren't someone that I enjoy talking with or being with in all situations I won't go any further than an initial meeting. I like to be mentally stimulated first and see where that leads. Of course the physical attraction needs to be there for me as well, but I have found if their personality attracts me,the physical soon follows.

darlyn -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/9/2005 11:52:34 AM)
quote: ...what is the most important thing to you when having a "new" Master show interest in you ? do you meet to met "the DOM" first, and then The PERSON ? or other ? Interestingly enough, i have seen all three scenarios to those 'first meetings'... The 'Person' showed up... it was so very vanilla that i just couldn't see myself serving this Dominant, even though He seemed to be genuinally a good person that would have been an honor to serve. The 'Dom' showed up, in which He didn't want me to look up at Him nor speak unless spoken to... and i had begun to wonder if He hadn't brushed His teeth in a year or something and was afraid i'd see He drawn in a tooth or two on His profile pic.... The 'Person' showed up first and the 'Dom' join later.... it probably took at least a couple hours of talking and laughing before the 'Dom' showed up... ever so slightly at first, but definately present... in a public place no less, i felt that 'rush' of my nature make my head spin. It was that 'oh, yeah' moment... luckily for both Master and myself... it was a mutual 'oh, yeah' moment.

Darthbetta -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/9/2005 5:42:51 PM)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ thank you.. you made my dick hard :D Gald I am who I am and that I have the aproach I have, and that I choose to be REAL and who I am all the time.

cranialcarnage -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/9/2005 7:33:16 PM)
It has been my experience that the most insecure Doms are the ones that act incredibly Domly at first meeting, so I would be much more interested in someone that can exude a quiet, almost subliminal dominance. I especially like the kind of Dom that can act completely silly and off the wall, piss me off with a good debating match, and still make me want to drop to my knees without having to force me there.

TeasedWhispers -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/9/2005 8:44:15 PM)
Honestly I want to meet the person before anything because that shows so much to me about who I'd be dominating to...cause people can change in the blink of an eye;)

pandoravampire -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/10/2005 8:33:52 AM)
I went looking for a life support machine for a whip, so i guess, at the outset, i wanted to meet the Dom. Subsequently, we are now a D/s couple and very much in love. But that was not my intention when we met.

BeneathHerFeet -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/11/2005 1:41:20 AM)
i'd really want to know the person first, then the Domme. As with any relationship, things flow better when Y/you know what makes each other tick. i consider myself more of a submissive than anything else, but with a Domme i know on both levels and trust, i could see myself as a slave.

lissalooks -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/11/2005 2:39:00 AM)
i personally would want to meet the person first, before they can be a Dom or a man that i would want to talk to they must be a gentleman, so i always look at that first, hope it helps.....

masterofsolace -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/13/2005 2:00:22 PM)
I want to talk and talk and talk about all aspects of the person then meet as soon as possible so who and what I am do not become distorted into some sort to a superDom that I can not measure up to. Tell me of your real life, tell me of your lifestyle life, tell me of your hard and soft limits, tell me what you do for a living, tell me how you would or could serve me, tell me what type of music you like, etc. etc, etc. but tell me for I want to know, need to know before any decision can be made for where the relationship is or is not going

histrblmkr -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/15/2005 12:21:04 PM)
quote: Scenariou... you are found by, (Or find) a Master, and you send emails, chat, yackety yackk on the phone, and decide to meet. Who do you want to know first ? The DOM ? or The PERSON ? I would have to say that you would want to meet both as I believe you can't have one without the other. It is the persons nature to be dominant and it will come through in their vanilla surroundings. My Master for instance is a very take charge person and it projects in EVERYTHING he does. linda

UniquelyMe -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/15/2005 8:59:20 PM)
The person without a doubt... talking about fantasies is all well and good on the 'Net but I like it to be "OK, this is what I like type of thing" instead of an "OK Sir" role-playing. Everyone has many different sides to themselves no matter what relationship it is and the person (INMHO) plays one of (if not the) most integral part of him or herself. In the BDSM world you might have the same interests, likes, dislikes, etc. but unless that's strictly your only time in dealing with each other wouldn't it be prudent to find out the other parties "vanilla" likes/dislikes/personality etc. So, yah, person first without a doubt, although once I meet the Master we'll have lots of fun!!

Manawyddan -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/16/2005 4:08:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RealityFix As far as cybering? No WAY! You have no idea of who is on the other end of that connection. It could be a cheater,a total nut case,or even another GUY. I'm not going to fullfill someone's online fantasies,I have better things to do with my time! laugh I enjoy cybering. And you know what? Whoever is on the other end of the connection is there to fulfill my fantasy. They could be a total nutcase, an 80-year-old grandmother, or a guy and I really don't care. When meeting someone for the first time I am always present as the person first. That's evident in my profile here. If there are any sparks between me and another person, the dom side will make its presence known fairly automatically.

ShadowKnight -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/16/2005 10:49:31 PM)
Greetings, In my opinion it doesn't matter who you are meeting they should be one and the same. As Popeye says, " I yam what I yam". I do not see Myself to be in parts or able to turn things on or off at will. Being dominant isn't a role I play. The same thing for those people I meet...I expect that they are who they are and have not put on a front or a mask. If I see indications that this is not the case then it is obviously time to say goodbye and part ways. Just My two tarn bits, ShadowKnight

SwitchNCgal -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/17/2005 12:05:00 AM)
that is true i hate those jerks that the frist or second line is "kneel" like any person with a bit of selfrespect would follow that command!

Laura -> RE: DO you want to meet the Dom, or the Person first ? (1/17/2005 1:05:47 PM)
If I was paying for his/ her services I'd want to meet the Dom first and that's all I'd really want to bother with. I can't see myself ever paying for those kind of services though, too personal and intimate. I would always expect to meet the person before seeing the Dom or sub side of them.

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