RE: Introductions

RE: Introductions (Full Version)

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amayos -> RE: Introductions (9/10/2006 10:54:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo How decisive can you be with someone that you basically know nothing about? How decisive can you be with yourself, is often how I put it. quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo How clear, decisive and succinct are we when approaching a stranger at a social gathering for conversation? Not very, and that is my point. Of course, this "social gathering" is somewhat particular in theme, wouldn't you say? I don't find it outlandish at all to receive a well written message expressing clear, enthusiastic interest. quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo What ever happened to just casually talking to someone, without a specific agenda and seeing what kind of vibe comes back? In the real world, isn't that how most of our relationships have begun; accidentally? What ever happened to it? We are awash in meaningless chatter and bush beating. One can still forge a relationship while being open and honest about what they seek. A sincere compliment, an articulate expression of interest and well thought out questions is usually the pattern that interests me. I would further venture to say that the agenda concept isn't eliminated in your above scenario, merely covered up in well-acted and obligatory social custom. quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo Are we looking for relationships or shopping from a catalog? For me, both. [;)]

marieToo -> RE: Introductions (9/10/2006 8:11:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: amayos How decisive can you be with yourself, is often how I put it. I hear that. Its a valid concern I suppose. But not everyone begins interactions so tightly focused on a specific goal. Not everyone feels comfortable getting up in a stranger's face with what they're looking for. I think its an aggressive and presumptuous approach, but for those with a more pragmatic m. o., I guess it works. quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo How clear, decisive and succinct are we when approaching a stranger at a social gathering for conversation? quote: Not very, and that is my point. Of course, this "social gathering" is somewhat particular in theme, wouldn't you say? I don't find it outlandish at all to receive a well written message expressing clear, enthusiastic interest. Yes, different in theme, but dont people still acquaint in much the same way, regardless of theme? Well-written and polite should be expected, but "enthusiastic interest" off the top of the bat? In someone that you've never had contact with? <Sheesh, some people want it all.> quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo What ever happened to just casually talking to someone, without a specific agenda and seeing what kind of vibe comes back? In the real world, isn't that how most of our relationships have begun; accidentally? quote: What ever happened to it? We are awash in meaningless chatter and bush beating. One can still forge a relationship while being open and honest about what they seek. A sincere compliment, an articulate expression of interest and well thought out questions is usually the pattern that interests me. Nothing wrong with that. : x quote: I would further venture to say that the agenda concept isn't eliminated in your above scenario, merely covered up in well-acted and obligatory social custom. As cynical as I am...I dont think an agenda is neccessarily a given, when two people begin an interaction. Maybe after they get to know each other, an agenda may develope. It would seem backwards to me to have the agenda first, then focus that agenda on a stranger. I could understand the 'agenda' being, "Id like to talk to you further to see if we have anything in common", but beyond that, I dont know. Eh...maybe Im thinking like an vanillian again. quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo Are we looking for relationships or shopping from a catalog? quote: For me, both. [;)] Footstools R Us is running a sale on doormats this week. <kidding> [:D]

KnightofMists -> RE: Introductions (9/10/2006 8:43:30 PM)
my personal thought... Do not write with an expectation to build a specific relationship. Write with a desire to get to know "the Person", but be sure you have a reason why you are motivated to write to this specific person and NO... "you look great in leather pants" is not good enough. Myself... I appreciate that a person sees aspects of my character and acknowledges it to me. Aspects that they admire. I would also like to see a email that express something about the person as well. It doesn't have to be much, but it is a start to a conversation or interaction.

marieToo -> RE: Introductions (9/10/2006 9:08:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists my personal thought... Do not write with an expectation to build a specific relationship. Write with a desire to get to know "the Person", but be sure you have a reason why you are motivated to write to this specific person and NO... "you look great in leather pants" is not good enough. Damn, brb I have to go unsend. quote: I would also like to see a email that express something about the person as well. It doesn't have to be much, but it is a start to a conversation or interaction. Sounds reasonable enough.

Estring -> RE: Introductions (9/10/2006 10:58:53 PM)
I really don't care what kind of introduction I receive. I always figure that if someone contacts me, they must be interested in me. I will take it from there. I will find out very quickly if there is anything there worth pursuing. My slave/wife initially sent me a simple "hi". If I had ignored that message because of some concern that it wasn't much of a message, I would have made the biggest mistake of my life.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Introductions (9/10/2006 11:28:55 PM)
I got one of those yesterday, Estring. It just said "hi" Nothing more, just "hi". I said "hi back" No reply. I guess I said the wrong thing. LOL.

Mavis -> RE: Introductions (9/10/2006 11:33:23 PM)
i always "have an agenda" if i mail someone. i either want to meet them, or pat them onna head for something that caught my attn, or ask for or share resources. i use the same basic approach for males or females, subs or Dom/mes. Some of the most recent.. Hi.. i noticed You have an interest in football.. if you're not stuck on the hometeam, could i recruit you to cheer for the Seahawks? A few of the locals will be meeting at sports pub this Sunday to watch the games, would you like to join us? Hi, i've really enjoyed your comments on such and such thread.. or (wow, i hated everything you said about this topic), would you like to come hash it out over a game of pool? You're sure to win that one, i'm awful at pool.. While i'm not looking for partners now, i used that approach in the past, and still do for friend-making. asking for a casual meet isn't that difficult, and a group setting relieves a lot of pressure to "match well".

Estring -> RE: Introductions (9/10/2006 11:35:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie I got one of those yesterday, Estring. It just said "hi" Nothing more, just "hi". I said "hi back" No reply. I guess I said the wrong thing. LOL. They probably don't reply to one sentence messages.[;)]

ownedgirlie -> RE: Introductions (9/10/2006 11:42:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Estring quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie I got one of those yesterday, Estring. It just said "hi" Nothing more, just "hi". I said "hi back" No reply. I guess I said the wrong thing. LOL. They probably don't reply to one sentence messages.[;)] LOL is that it? I thought maybe I was too wordy [:D]

Focus50 -> RE: Introductions (9/11/2006 4:09:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: amayos quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: amayos This is a topic that can't be covered enough. I prefer the letter that is direct, somewhat succinct, and well written. Indecisiveness should be avoided. Don't communicate a vague intention only to retract and play coy. That will get you nowhere with me—real world or online. You expect the average sub, most likely a stranger, to be direct and decisive - sorta like the average Dom/me might write? Good luck with that... Hi Focus, When you really think about it, why not? I in fact do have many who break from the herd and write me in this way, and only a small fraction of that number is ever considered past extended communication. I have been on this particular site for roughly two years. In that time, I've had literally hundreds of individual queries, and out of that number, I have deemed to meet only five. Out of that five, I have kept two. Online and off, I rarely offer an unsolicited seduction for the intent of hooking a submissive girl. I personally don't believe in doing that. The reasons are as much philosophical as they are psychological. This "hooking a submissive" via email comment is rather crude and elitist but if your preferred alternative of adopting a set posture for subs to run your gauntlet and find you is working, who am I to argue. But my "direct and decisive" comment was more my point. That's how I tend to be in my emails but I can't say as I'd warm to a fem/sub who wrote to me in that manner. Opposites do attract and it's not restricted to just complimenting roles or gender. So I like to see something a little shy or soft, even a pinch of vulnerability, in a sub's words because that is what I'm not. My generally easy-going, down to earth manner is what works for me and that's the only persona a sub who is not my sub will get to talk with. A split personality as opposed to your seemingly rigid facade? Maybe, but I do prefer to be the "hard-arse" only when necessary. Hell, I've had and met plenty of subs and they're all different - logically Doms must be, too! If your method does work as well as you present, then you've got me shot to pieces in the charisma stakes at least! And there I was wishing you luck.... lol Cheers. Focus.

Totalmaster4you -> RE: Introductions (9/12/2006 1:15:58 AM)
I saw that some Tops want nude pictures as proof that they are for real. I really don't get that when it's so easy to send photo's from anywhere. Frankly nothing is for sure until they have signed their first contract and you're inspecting them for the first time. And with what surgeons can do these days even that may not be 100%.lol *I can tell you what not to do: Hello Sir* *That's all.......really I got that yesterday.[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m21.gif[/image]*

SlaveFinder -> RE: Introductions (9/12/2006 11:14:17 AM)
Jewel, In my opinion there should always be some form of personalization. Something you are resoonding to in the Doms profile or journal. That way they know you are serious and at least can read. M_R

Tamerofwild1s -> RE: Introductions (9/13/2006 11:57:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx quote: ORIGINAL: zero69u2 please call me 867-5309... At first I couldn't see putting a phone number in a thread, until it all became clear, Jenny. How many could possibly still remember? Jeff I did instantly .. but I'm an old fucker. in response to the OP ... I like aletter that lets me know they liked somethingabout me . and the fact we might have more conversations .. if I am sending out aletter to someone . I tell them I liked something about them or their profile . short and sweet . never a protocol letter. but . thats just my dam opinion

Bearlee -> RE: Introductions (9/13/2006 12:23:42 PM)
ummmmmmmmm... How DO you Dominant males feel about female submissives initiating contact? I'm pretty reluctant to do it... it just seems... wrong? I mean, the guy I'd like wouldn't be stupid; if he found me interesting, wouldn't he have already contacted me? <sigh> I'm kinda silly that way... beverly

Phoenixandnika -> RE: Introductions (9/13/2006 12:57:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jewel85 Good Sirs, I'm sure this topic has probably been covered before, but opinions change and people come and go. I was looking at the forums Ask a Submissive/Slave, and there were a few talking about bad introductory letters, and how it seems hopeless. So my question is: what in Your opinion is the best way for a submissive to write an introductory letter to a Dom? If You had to set a standard, what would it be? Curiously, Jewel Typically either posts in the forums or their profile have caught my attention. For me it is not formal at all. I will simply say hello, mention what caught my attention, and if I have further question simply ask them respectfully. That is all I expect from subs/slaves that contact me as a Domme as well. Sometimes I hear back from them, other times I don't. I know I enjoy getting notes about my profile in general, poems that I post in it or my journal, pictures,qoute that I may post, or even how my profile is written and I know I am not the only person who enjoys unsolicited, unexpected compliments. laughs I personally HATE the following : - form emails that are sent out to the masses -people who email me without bothering to read my profile -people who email me for the 1st time asking how they can serve me -Doms who email me saying things like " you can offer me your phone number or IM addy"

Phoenixandnika -> RE: Introductions (9/13/2006 1:00:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee ummmmmmmmm... How DO you Dominant males feel about female submissives initiating contact? I'm pretty reluctant to do it... it just seems... wrong? I mean, the guy I'd like wouldn't be stupid; if he found me interesting, wouldn't he have already contacted me? <sigh> I'm kinda silly that way... beverly I personally think that a man likes to be chased to a point regardless of the lables he uses for himself. I also don't expect a Dom to read EVERY profile on CM and more than I expect you or I too. If it is a sincer compliment or question why not give it or ask it? If you don't get a response have you truly lost anything? If you do perhaps in the long run you will gain much more than you expected.

Tamerofwild1s -> RE: Introductions (9/13/2006 5:26:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee ummmmmmmmm... How DO you Dominant males feel about female submissives initiating contact? I'm pretty reluctant to do it... it just seems... wrong? I mean, the guy I'd like wouldn't be stupid; if he found me interesting, wouldn't he have already contacted me? <sigh> I'm kinda silly that way... beverly Bearlee darlink ... it's 2006 .. not 1956 ... girlies is allowed to iniate if they gets the itchin too

MrrPete -> RE: Introductions (9/13/2006 5:47:25 PM)
I feel the same as Estring. If a femsub sends me a hi I'm going to reply. Actually if anyone says hello I'm going to reply.

MrrPete -> RE: Introductions (9/13/2006 5:50:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee ummmmmmmmm... How DO you Dominant males feel about female submissives initiating contact? I'm pretty reluctant to do it... it just seems... wrong? I mean, the guy I'd like wouldn't be stupid; if he found me interesting, wouldn't he have already contacted me? <sigh> I'm kinda silly that way... beverly Maybe he hasn't found you yet and hasn't looked under your stone [location]

ownedgirlie -> RE: Introductions (9/13/2006 9:00:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee ummmmmmmmm... How DO you Dominant males feel about female submissives initiating contact? I'm pretty reluctant to do it... it just seems... wrong? I mean, the guy I'd like wouldn't be stupid; if he found me interesting, wouldn't he have already contacted me? <sigh> I'm kinda silly that way... beverly I tend to think along these lines. Before I was owned, I would never approach a Dominant male (not that I approach them for that specific reason now, lol). I was too shy for that, I guess, go figure. I had met a few nice male friends in chat who were on my IM list and still I did not initiate conversations. I always felt intrusive to do so.

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