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DOWNINMYMOUTH -> who we are (4/20/2004 8:21:09 PM)
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4-20-2004 I am a submissive male seeking to find my identity as a submissive. While there are many references to game players, the reality is for many of us, we are seeking. The right person will eventually emerge who can lead me into the areas of eroticism that I need and desire. For many, myself included, it is a slow process and seemingly a long path. While some may never get there, there is still the desire for fulfillment. Some will never experience it for whatever reason; this might include me.
I do genuinely understand the many Dominants who complain concerning the lack of sincerity of many here, and on the Internet in general. I think for many the desire to surrender and allow someone to take control is real; it is an evolution for many. Few can take the ultimate leap of a 24/7 relationship, no matter how exciting or appealing. What I hope for, and what I think many submissive persons hope for is a Dominant who is willing to nurture me from fantasy to reality, but this takes a special person.
Labels are difficult. I have desires to be forced to service men anal and oral, but I am not a bi-sexual; I can be, and enjoy taking control over a women when having sex, but I am not a Dominant; I desire to be hurt and humiliated during sex, but do not enjoy pain or humiliation otherwise. These dimensions of personality are deep, and finding my sexually has been a long and confusing process.
We are all people with feelings and desires beyond sexuality. Respect for one another as people should come foremost. This takes a little while to foster. But given time, I think the intellectual side of a relationship adds to the erotic nature of the submission and control aspects. We need to know who we are first, in order to surrender to another or take control of another.
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