Dominant desires experience (Full Version)

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JassWolf -> Dominant desires experience (9/14/2006 11:06:04 AM)

I've done a search and there seem to be a number of threads talking about Dominants who have a hunger to be on the bottom ... my "hunger" is enough different that I'm going to try to ask the question a little differently --

I am a dominant in a 24/7 life with a submissive woman. We have always said we would like to switch sometime -- each because we want to know "what it's like on the other side."

We've decided that it will happen this coming Sunday/Monday. We considered trying it for just a scene, but we know that either of us can fake anything at all ... but by making it 48 hours we'll have to really make a psychological effort to get into the head space of the other.


I would like to do what I can to experience not only the other end of the lashes, cuffs, etc., but also the mind set of submission, and I have no experience with it. If any of you have suggestions from your own experience, or reading, on how a natural Dominant, or for that matter a natural submissive, might manage to get as close as possible to "the other side," I'd appreciate hearing your ideas.

(I'm busy with deadlines at the moment so won't be checking back on this thread but once a day, so if I seem absent, please don't feel it is disinterest as I promise I will respond.)

With respect,
JW



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dominant desires experience (9/14/2006 11:17:00 AM)

Preparation is key.  Talk together to set down ground rules.  What exactly are you doing?  It seems like you are transferring authority for 48 hours.  What authority does she want to directly manage?  What are the goals she wants accomplished?  What plans do you have together and how will your submissive help to fulfill those plans?  What are the expectations for your behavior and manner?  In private?  In public?  Will you both be ok with taking time in the period to talk over whats going on, or will you save that for later?

I'd say simply start when you wake up in the morning with some expected basic task and go from there.

You may or may not reach your goal here, and you most certainly will have only begun to experience a journey of self-exploration IF you decide this is something you enjoy and want to continue.  You may decide it's really not something that works for you after all- and that's ok.



JassWolf -> RE: Dominant desires experience (9/14/2006 3:34:00 PM)

Thanks, as always, LA. To answer some of your (very good) questions, best I can at the moment --

"What exactly are you doing?"
That, for a change, will be her decision of course. For now, some will be in public, some will be private, some will be "merely" domestic.

" It seems like you are transferring authority for 48 hours.  What authority does she want to directly manage? "
Yes, that's correct. She has expressed no desire to set a limit on her authority and I'm encouraging her to take the entire kit and kaboodle, unless she requests otherwise of me.

" What are the goals she wants accomplished?"
I know she'll be reading this, but I'll pass it along.

" What plans do you have together and how will your submissive help to fulfill those plans?"
Again, clearly too vague for the moment itself. You make it clear that specific plans need to be laid. She can't "wing it" any more than I do.

"What are the expectations for your behavior and manner?  In private?  In public?"
Very similar to those I've indicated for her in our normal life (except reversed of course).

"Will you both be ok with taking time in the period to talk over whats going on, or will you save that for later?"
Yes to both. We are comfortable with this sort of communication from our normal way of life. I think one problem I'll face is the temptation to assert myself too much in these conversations ... should be good for us both. 

"I'd say simply start when you wake up in the morning with some expected basic task and go from there."
Great suggestion. It may seem obvious to you, but again I'll pass it along.

"You may or may not reach your goal here, and you most certainly will have only begun to experience a journey of self-exploration IF you decide this is something you enjoy and want to continue.  You may decide it's really not something that works for you after all- and that's ok."
Yes, it's all okay. I'm very much looking forward to it and have no idea if either of us will take to it (and want to give it another try) or whether it will be something we just laugh about. The worry of course is that one will love it and the other will hate it ... but we have to try.

Any suggestions on things I can do to help me get my head on right for an effort to give submission a try?

Thanks as always.
JW 



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dominant desires experience (9/14/2006 3:36:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JassWolf
Any suggestions on things I can do to help me get my head on right for an effort to give submission a try?

Thanks as always.
JW 

I'm so sorry for the confusion.  All those questions were things you need to talk to HER about.  It will set the tone, get you clearly in the headspace of being there and where she wants you to be.



Littlepita -> RE: Dominant desires experience (9/14/2006 6:10:48 PM)

We have been talking about those questions and others. Our concern is that we don't want this to just be a role play. We want it to feel authentic and really give us some insight into what each other feel and go through. Not to mention having some real fun with each other in a different way than we are used to. I am very excited about this and feel up to the challenge. I hope! [:)]



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dominant desires experience (9/14/2006 9:46:04 PM)

Excellent!  That's why going through all of these questions together will be so good- it will get you BOTH thinking along the lines of how you want to work with eachother within this new dynamic.



JassWolf -> RE: Dominant desires experience (9/15/2006 1:06:25 PM)

Of course you're right! [8|] Why should we make it into something different from the way it usually works ... just different questions.

Thanks as always.

JW



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