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RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 9:02:34 PM   
PrimitiveLogic


Posts: 145
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Md.
Status: offline 		Whenever I read about the blissful joys of anal sex; I can't help think of the cases that don't turn out so well later. Ever the voice of prudence....I suggest all anal recipients investigate how sphincter tone is cruicial in keep the bombs in the bombay. There is no reward in damaging that important door. I just wish there was a balance in conversations showing the downside of anal sex's aftermath. Remember, a vagina is designed to expand to a baby's head size...an anus is designed to accomodate a  good poo. So if you have really magnificent poo...go for the big insertions. Otherwise  have him or her demonstrate on themselves how safe and wonderful it is...especially repeated and long term.  Maybe I just see too many bad outcomes from too much stuff. Just play safe is the point. That's all.

(in reply to bluelace001)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 9:03:16 PM   
Invictus754


Posts: 521
Joined: 12/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mdboy
I'm having alot of trouble with relaxing during anal sex.  My master cannot get one finger in without me clamping down on it.  Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help me.  I would greatly appreciate it


Have you tried anbesol?  It is to stop toothaches, but it works on any mucus membrane.  Grab a tube and use it instead of lube and you won't feel a thing.  :)  Of course, after about four strokes, he won't either.    But at least it will be in.

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(in reply to mdboy)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 9:08:46 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Invictus754

quote:

ORIGINAL: mdboy
I'm having alot of trouble with relaxing during anal sex. My master cannot get one finger in without me clamping down on it. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help me. I would greatly appreciate it


Have you tried anbesol? It is to stop toothaches, but it works on any mucus membrane. Grab a tube and use it instead of lube and you won't feel a thing. :) Of course, after about four strokes, he won't either. But at least it will be in.


Yikes! Bad idea, in my opinion. If you can't feel anything, you can't feel if damage is actually being done!

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(in reply to Invictus754)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 9:12:10 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline 		ok now i'm sticking my 2 cents in because everyone else has and this topic piques my interest.

being a slave for over 17yrs now, i have tried many a new thing as well as some things that i had tried in the past and didn't like i tried again.

anal sex is by far the best, at least in my humble opinion.

to help me relax the first time i tried anal sex i did the deep breathing,  tons of lube, the tip of His finger at first working slowly up to taking His cock.

the deep breathing, tons of lube, tips of fingers of course making sure the nails are clean and filed, making sure His hands are clean as well, try enemas as well to help you with taking things up the arse, small to fat butt plugs, small to large dildos, small to large vibrators, taking just the tip of each at first, then working up to having the whole thing in  and learning to hold said item in.

before you know it, you will be able to take His finger then His cock and you will enjoy it very much.

hope this helps and good luck to both of you.


_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 24
anal sex and relaxing - 9/17/2006 9:18:54 PM   
MarineBuck


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/17/2006
Status: offline 		The best way to have anal sex is to possition the receiver female or male face down in bed with a pillow underneath their waist to raise their ass.  Put some lubricant or use some good old spit and place the tip and tip only in their ass with minimal pressure and have her/him, relax that way they control the penetration.  After all the shaft is in let her/him relax with it inside until they feel comfortable to start moving it in and out which will take about up to a minute.  Remember always relax and take it slow.....After that its on....

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/18/2006 5:10:21 AM   
MasterMatthews


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for all the help guys (and girls)!
im sure we will give it all a try and post back sometime next weekend with the deets on how it went
In the mean time, keep the ideas coming

Master Matthews

(in reply to MarineBuck)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/18/2006 6:15:20 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PrimitiveLogic

Whenever I read about the blissful joys of anal sex; I can't help think of the cases that don't turn out so well later. Ever the voice of prudence....I suggest all anal recipients investigate how sphincter tone is crucial in keep the bombs in the bombay. There is no reward in damaging that important door. I just wish there was a balance in conversations showing the downside of anal sex's aftermath. Remember, a vagina is designed to expand to a baby's head size...an anus is designed to accommodate a  good poo. So if you have really magnificent poo...go for the big insertions. Otherwise  have him or her demonstrate on themselves how safe and wonderful it is...especially repeated and long term.  Maybe I just see too many bad outcomes from too much stuff. Just play safe is the point. That's all.

Hi Primitive Logic,
I am leary of anal play to begin with so I really looked into the safety issues a lot lately.
Other than huge insertions I have not read or heard about any big risks beyond the same STD's possibly having a better starting field than in vaginal sex.
You're right in the notion a cock is indeed about the size of bowel movements coming out of most of us. I think the amount of stretching required should not cause incontinence issues unless you go bigger than a cock.
If you've heard stories of penis penetration causing issues I'd appreciate it if you shared some here. I've looked and listened and heard none in almost two years of checking into it.
Suzanne

(in reply to PrimitiveLogic)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/18/2006 6:22:37 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		awwwwwwwww... I never thought that, Matthews!  I didn't even know he was gay...nor do I care, really.  You both seem very sweet...but his reaction is much the same as any person not used to anal sex.  He never mentioned your going to fast, either.  Nice to see both sides of the 'story' though...  Hang in there, things generally work out with time and trust! 
 
beverly

(in reply to MasterMatthews)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/18/2006 11:33:38 AM   
MasterMatthews


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

awwwwwwwww... I never thought that, Matthews!  I didn't even know he was gay...nor do I care, really.  You both seem very sweet...but his reaction is much the same as any person not used to anal sex.  He never mentioned your going to fast, either.  Nice to see both sides of the 'story' though...  Hang in there, things generally work out with time and trust! 
 
beverly


Thanks for the kindness from all of you, i want to apologize if i offended anyone in my previous posts, i just love my boy/boyfriend a lot and i want him to be happy, and most of all pain free ;) so thanks for all your ideas, keep them coming if you have more, and we are sure to try most of the "natural" one, the ones just from technique, no offense but using cremes and stuff like that dont appeal to either of us, so all the breathing and relaxing stuff we will try, and we will let you know how things go after this weekend

again sorry if i offended anyone, just protecting my boy, and i apologize for his behavior, he was just "protecting" my interests, and anybody that would like more "in depth" (pun intended) updates just leave me a message

Master Matthews, and His Boy G, respectfully thanking everyone on here for their input, if ya want to know how it goes, leave one of us a message

Later

FM

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/18/2006 3:41:38 PM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		Well, not sure if it would work the same for a man or not.  I hated anal, it hurt sooooo bad, I couldn't get any enjoyment out of it.  I would do it because my Doms liked it and that was it.

The last time I tried it, we used anal eez...and I played with myself when he insterted..it seemed to help relax my anal muscles.  To really think about it, it was that act that made it go so much better and before I knew it, I was very into it and couldn't get enough.

Not sure if him stroking his cock will help or not, but it might distract him a bit and allow that area not to tense as much.

Good luck.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to MasterMatthews)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/19/2006 4:55:04 AM   
timeoutgurlie


Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline 		I had this problem, found that being on top worked wonders, for everything from the initial penetration with fingers, to anal plug, and eventually to anal sex.

It may not satiate the need initially since many seem to prefer the traditional doggystyle position for anal, but from experience the ONLY way I was able to complete the act was to begin by being on top.  There's something about the physical position, possibly the mental control as well, that just makes it much easier.  It's quite easy then to change positions without missing a beat once you're accustomed to the sensations.

That said, if you're not really "ready" mentally it won't matter what you try, nothing is gonna make that muscle release. 

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/22/2006 2:58:04 PM   
mdboy


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/20/2006
Status: offline 		got a 3/4 inch width butt plug and it works wonders
I was able to get it up there with no trouble at all

(in reply to PrimitiveLogic)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/24/2006 10:50:39 PM   
subboi3382


Posts: 379
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		start off slowly, using one of your fingers, then two and so forth, workinf your way up to bigger dildoes. that's how I did it and i was just like how u sound

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 9/26/2006 11:11:47 PM   
EarthGoddess52


Posts: 70
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline 		From my experience, most males, regardless of their sexual orientation, come to enjoy anal sex because it stimulates their prostate (the male G-spot).  There is a butt plug designed specifically for the purpose of stimulating the prostate.  It is about as big around as your thumb and about 4 inches long, but that's all that's necessary to provide waves of orgasmic pleasure.
While I'm not advocating drug use, I have one partner who seems to be able to relax more when he has taken his allergy medicine.  he takes it for his allergies and not just because we're going to engage in anal play.  It just works to our advantage.  I don't know if it's the antihistamine in the meds or what, but it seems to work.
Another thing that helps to relax if firm pressure/massage to the perineum (the area between your scrotum and anus).  Most males find this very relaxing.
The other fore mentioned things are helpful as well:  lube, lube and more lube!! deep breathing and relaxation, an emotional connection that promotes trust and caring......lots of foreplay.  And just  have fun!!  Good luck!

(in reply to mdboy)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 10/5/2006 2:57:10 AM   
unownedredhead


Posts: 498
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Lots of stimulation to arouse the person taking the anal penitration.  Slow soft foreplay, giggles, closeness...builds trust and intimacy.  Warm mouths on pussy or cock until they are begging to come.  Then have them service you for a while.  she/he is a bottom after all and service arouses them.  Stop them before you cum.....this way their is no doubt their service is not over.  With she/he wet/hard and malible make her/him go to the middle of the room and kneel.  Give her/him a big bottle of lube and a towel to kneel on.  Tell the sub to play put not cum.  When you can see they are aroused,  (don't bullshit me boys and girls, you know when they are), tell them to kneel head away from yourself and prenetrate themselves with a finger while still playing with the other hands at their pussy or cock.  Talk sweet tell them how much it is arousing you and let them do it till they can take their own finger.  When they can take their own finger all the way in, give them permission to cum.  But,  only with the their own finger in their ass.  They will be embarrassed and meek and willing to do anything.  Don't take advantage the first time.  Give them comfort, cuddles, get them a drink and watch a favorite movie and snuggle them all night.  You will have their trust and their body has relaxed.  Do this again, and again.  When the sub is able to get your cock up their ass you will know.  You will see it in their eyes........and you will own them more than you ever owned them before......................dina

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(in reply to EarthGoddess52)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 10/5/2006 9:29:35 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Exam gloves, will also help w/ith the worry that the hands are clean, It also makes cleanup easier, and if there is any sticky stuff or residue it won't be on your hands personally.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressTexas

Make sure his hands are clean, nails trimmed and filed. One reason you *might* be clamping down is that he has a rough nail, and you're mistaking that bad pain, as the normal pain of anal play. Oh.. and one more thing... LUBE.

(in reply to MistressTexas)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 10/5/2006 12:37:48 PM   
gypsylee


Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mdboy

I'm having alot of trouble with relaxing during anal sex.  My master cannot get one finger in without me clamping down on it.  Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help me.  I would greatly appreciate it


i'm a bit of an anal-phobe... so (under instruction) i bought a vibrating buttplug. the description said 'for beginners'. when i first tried it i thought, 'if this is for beginners, what the hell do non-beginners use?!'

anyway, i've found that once i get over the initial discomfort it's soooo worth it

i'm still weird about it though, cos i'm really self-conscious about certain bodily functions and let's face it... without much experience it f'en hurts.

errr and this sub thinks you and your Master are genuine guys just trying your best to make things work.

respect.

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.


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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 10/5/2006 12:55:27 PM   
gypsylee


Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly

The last time I tried it, we used anal eez...and I played with myself when he insterted..it seemed to help relax my anal muscles.  To really think about it, it was that act that made it go so much better and before I knew it, I was very into it and couldn't get enough.



oh that's another thing. it's kinda like how i said it's worth it after the initial discomfort. i actually find that if i have my other 'bits' stimulated (especially vaginal penetration) it relaxes my butt. obviously this isn't an option as a man, but yeah i'm sure this kind of thing would help.

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 10/5/2006 8:35:09 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		guys please stop buying into the desensitizing cream things, it's not safe. If you're desensitized bak there and something truely is wrong you won't feel it and will do damage. anal sex isn't supposed to hurt, be uncomfortable, feel strange yes, but down right out oh ouch oh god kill me pain is not normal.

The last time I tried it, we used anal eez

(in reply to gypsylee)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: anal sex and relaxing - 10/6/2006 12:10:31 AM   
gypsylee


Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

...anal sex isn't supposed to hurt, be uncomfortable, feel strange yes, but down right out oh ouch oh god kill me pain is not normal.



it doesn't really make me go, 'oh god kill me' like being in labour or watching american sitcoms, but it does hurt (initially) and is damn uncomfortable (initially). so what's wrong with me?



edited to say: erk. i just had a look at your profile, FP, and saw that you love sitcoms! i wasn't having a dig at you. some american sitcoms are great. like seinfeld.

< Message edited by gypsylee -- 10/6/2006 1:00:52 AM >

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.


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Profile   Post #: 40
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