slut over bitch? (Full Version)

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jesskitty -> slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:20:48 PM)

this is a question i've been wanting to ask for awhile. i personally don't understand it and i see it's very common place and am trying to get a better perspective of it. why does it seem alot of dominant people enjoy/like calling their submissive natured partners sluts? and why not use any other word say bitch instead? is it refering back to the whole, 'lady in the streets but a freak in the bed' syndrome? or is it just the new trend? what's the difference for you between thinking of your partner as, 'your slut' and just someone thats called a slut?



WhyteRavenne -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:25:34 PM)

Well, imho, slut has never been a derogatory word.  It is just someone who is comfortable with their sexual experiences.  Bitch is a female dog, or a woman in menses (or heat)... I think it's all a matter of selective pet names.  I personally hate to be called a bitch when I'm in collarplay, since I refuse to be anything but a "good girl" (I'm sure Dr. Frued would have a hayday with me on that one), however, I'm quite comfortable with my bestfriend saying, "Oh, it's Ravenne, what a slut"...



mstrjx -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:26:02 PM)

For me it's simple.  And by the way, I use both (and more).

Society, our mothers, the government, all try and put people in nice neat little bundles.  All about polite and nice and the bright side of everything.

But we're not all light and fluffy all the time.  Most, if not all of us, have some sort of dark side.

Being free to be ourselves is something I espouse quite heavily.

And it's all right for nice girls to like it, too.

I don't refer to someone as 'a' whatever; that is demeaning.  My style is to allow someone to feel good about themselves, and me.

So I call them, or have them refer to themself as 'my' whatever.  As in, I wouldn't do this for anyone in the world BUT you.  YOU are the one that is freeing me from society's restrictions and allowing me to be myself.  And that is why I adore YOU.

Simple, really.

Jeff



ownedgirlie -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:29:42 PM)

Since I do not engange in anything sexual with anyone other than my Master unless instructed to by him, it is implied when he calls me slut, that I am his slut. Slut is an appropriate word for me in reference to him, because I behave like a slut to him and will happily and eagerly engage in any sexual act he puts on me. The thought of pleasing him makes me hot.  His reference of me is not limited to just slut, or bitch, however.  I think that would lose effect and become boring after awhile.  He's got a whole list of names, and still surprises me with new ones, lol.



jesskitty -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:36:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Since I do not engange in anything sexual with anyone other than my Master unless instructed to by him, it is implied when he calls me slut, that I am his slut. Slut is an appropriate word for me in reference to him, because I behave like a slut to him and will happily and eagerly engage in any sexual act he puts on me. The thought of pleasing him makes me hot.  His reference of me is not limited to just slut, or bitch, however.  I think that would lose effect and become boring after awhile.  He's got a whole list of names, and still surprises me with new ones, lol.

i guess i'm just discussing terms and the way things are worded. so it seems there's a consensus that slut isn't a derogatory word and it means, 'someone that is sexually comfortable with themselves'. so what you would call someone that pretty much has sex with anyone that pretty much is breathing? from what i see vanillia people have a different definition for the words and i guess that's where the discrepincy comes from. the people that i know that are very conservative/etc. regards a person that is 'confident' in being comfortable with themselves including sexuality, but they use the term slut for someone that pretty much would have sex with any person that walks. what are your thoughts in the discrepincy of the word in transition of 'lifestyles'?



Yang4yin -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:42:15 PM)

I only use the term "bitch" in a derogatory manner.

I use "slut" two ways... My slut, which is good because she's my own personal slut... A slut, which can be derogatory if the person has indiscriminate sex with anybody and everybody.

If she has indiscriminate sex with anybody and everybody but me, then she's a bitch. (attempt at humor)



ownedgirlie -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:42:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jesskitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Since I do not engange in anything sexual with anyone other than my Master unless instructed to by him, it is implied when he calls me slut, that I am his slut. Slut is an appropriate word for me in reference to him, because I behave like a slut to him and will happily and eagerly engage in any sexual act he puts on me. The thought of pleasing him makes me hot.  His reference of me is not limited to just slut, or bitch, however.  I think that would lose effect and become boring after awhile.  He's got a whole list of names, and still surprises me with new ones, lol.

i guess i'm just discussing terms and the way things are worded. so it seems there's a consensus that slut isn't a derogatory word and it means, 'someone that is sexually comfortable with themselves'. so what you would call someone that pretty much has sex with anyone that pretty much is breathing? from what i see vanillia people have a different definition for the words and i guess that's where the discrepincy comes from. the people that i know that are very conservative/etc. regards a person that is 'confident' in being comfortable with themselves including sexuality, but they use the term slut for someone that pretty much would have sex with any person that walks. what are your thoughts in the discrepincy of the word in transition of 'lifestyles'?


Slut in the “vanilla” world does tend to lean in a derogatory direction.  It implies someone who might be promiscuous and down right dirty or nasty in her sexual behavior.  Because of its connotation, it can be used by a Dominant to humiliate his submissive, as it can cause her to break out of her paradigms of what she may have been taught by parents and society – of having to be a “good girl.” 

When I became comfortable with my submission and with my sexuality, the term “slut” no longer felt derogatory or humiliating to me…except of course when he lowers his voice, changes his tone, and says, “You’re such a slut.”  That just makes me weak, lol.



mstrjx -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:43:00 PM)

Within the Lifestyle, one (a submissive) has sex with whomever they are instructed to have sex with.  It could be one person ever, it could be a different roomful every night.  Within limits, of course.

But yes, the connotations of these seemingly humiliating, degrading phrases are to celebrate the freedom that a submissive has to be his/herself.

Jeff



jesskitty -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:46:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

Within the Lifestyle, one (a submissive) has sex with whomever they are instructed to have sex with.  It could be one person ever, it could be a different roomful every night.  Within limits, of course.

But yes, the connotations of these seemingly humiliating, degrading phrases are to celebrate the freedom that a submissive has to be his/herself.

Jeff

that's understandable. but there are alot of people looking for monagamus long term relationships that aren't into sharring that use it. and i guess in that context it's abit more iffy with me. because your not sharring with anyone and your not being that 'promisucious' for a lack of a better term.



jesskitty -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:48:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Yang4yin

I only use the term "bitch" in a derogatory manner.

I use "slut" two ways... My slut, which is good because she's my own personal slut... A slut, which can be derogatory if the person has indiscriminate sex with anybody and everybody.

If she has indiscriminate sex with anybody and everybody but me, then she's a bitch. (attempt at humor)

i think it worked. it at least gave me a little chuckle.



juliaoceania -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:50:39 PM)

He hardly ever has referred to me as a slut, although he refers to me jokingly as a bitch at times... so I think that it is an individual thing...smiles. Strumpet is a term of endearment for me.



Lashra -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:51:35 PM)

I call my male sub a slut and I use bitch for either gender, but sometimes he gets called that too.[:D]

~Lashra



MsKatHouston -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:52:03 PM)

It's all in the delivery

what a f'n slut - derogatory
yesssss that's my good little slut - an endearment
you f'n bitch, I'm gonna kick your ass - derogatory
bend over bitch - an endearment

I use everything or nothing.  If it bothers someone I won't use it.

edited to add:  but if it was a major issue with someone, they probably wouldn't be a good match for me.



ScooterTrash -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:52:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jesskitty

this is a question i've been wanting to ask for awhile. i personally don't understand it and i see it's very common place and am trying to get a better perspective of it. why does it seem alot of dominant people enjoy/like calling their submissive natured partners sluts? and why not use any other word say bitch instead? is it refering back to the whole, 'lady in the streets but a freak in the bed' syndrome? or is it just the new trend? what's the difference for you between thinking of your partner as, 'your slut' and just someone thats called a slut?
Neither term is something I am comfortable using, unless maybe it's someone that just cut me off on the highway, but many use these terms affectionately. I'm just fine with using "girl" or their name....kind of whatever floats your boat I suppose.



Nimkii -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:52:18 PM)

what ever makes ya happy in nicks is all good. every one has different trigger words



DiurnalVampire -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 3:59:14 PM)

Sex with someone indescrimately, to me, is a whore.
I only call my b9oy slut when he is dressed as one, but since we are not sexually involved yet, its all about getting a reaction from him, not about his actual sexual practives.  Its difficult to have a virgin slut.
However, as far as pet names go, I prefer angel, baby girl and little one to things like slut, bitch or anything else that can be construed as derogatory.

Just my personal opinion.

DV



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 4:03:18 PM)

In my vernacular, it's better to be a bitch than a slut.
I say a woman in charge of her sexuality/life, should be whatever she wants to be.
I would say I am more bitch than slut, because I'm too sentimental about my sexuality.    M



Lordandmaster -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 4:15:48 PM)

For what it's worth, I say "bitch" and "cunt" most often; sometimes I use "slut" too, but not as often.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 4:16:52 PM)

For me bitch, unless used in the "female dog" sense, is not a positive word.  It's not something I aspire to or consider something to be proud of.

Slut, however, is a very positive thing for me and something I identify to be personally.

Why do most doms go with slut and not bitch?  Because they want someone who is sexually open and hungry, and not someone who will give them a bad attitude.



OhReallyNow -> RE: slut over bitch? (9/18/2006 4:25:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Since I do not engange in anything sexual with anyone other than my Master unless instructed to by him, it is implied when he calls me slut, that I am his slut. Slut is an appropriate word for me in reference to him, because I behave like a slut to him and will happily and eagerly engage in any sexual act he puts on me. The thought of pleasing him makes me hot.  His reference of me is not limited to just slut, or bitch, however.  I think that would lose effect and become boring after awhile.  He's got a whole list of names, and still surprises me with new ones, lol.

this slave would agree with what ownedgirlie has said. This slave absolutly melts when Master calls me his slut, his whore, his bitch, his cunt, etc. For her, the words bring pride.
quote:

  so what you would call someone that pretty much has sex with anyone that pretty much is breathing?

personally, this slave would not call or refer to them as anything other than very comfortable with who and what they are. Lot's of women enjoy sex on a regular basis, and not all of them have the 'hang-up's' with the stigma that is attatched to such activities ( this slave would like to state right now that she in no way was trying to offend anyone with the word hang-ups ). This slave is of the opinion that if a person enjoys what they are doing, and as long as all parties are consensual; then why should one not enjoy sex freely?
quote:

  what are your thoughts in the discrepincy of the word in transition of 'lifestyles'?


this slave feels sorry for those who attatch such baggage to words; to her it shows a narrow-mindedness and an unwillingness to explore possibilities [:)]



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