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Voltare -> RE: Explaining the lifestyle (4/24/2004 2:37:44 PM)
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Probably the easiest way I have to explain D/s to vanilla people would be to use the ´Leave it to Beaver´ example. Over the past 50 years, the trend has been for men to be more domesticated, and women to be more assertive professionally. D/s relationships revolve around the belief that power does not rest on the shoulders of both partners equally, but rather the focus of power is shouldered by one person (the dominant) while the responsibility of such power surrendered by the submissive permits him/her greater personal freedom, i.e. to be beholden to another. Perhaps a submissive could offer some better insight as to the why and how, but the end result is the same - Ward had a belt, was responsible for discipline of the house, and his word was law. June didn´t set the expectations for him - he set them for her, but in a natural fashion. Today, it could be easily said that anyone who still holds ideas that were ´modern´ fifty years ago, could be said to be living in a D/s style relationship. While this best applies to male Dominants and female submissives, the example can hold true regardless of gender i.e. Femdom/malesub Femdom/femsub or MaleDom/malesub etc. Whips, chains, and cuffs are no more part of the BDSM lifestyle then vibrators and massage oil to vanilla lifestyle - instead of using BDSM terms, simply relating them to terms that they are already familiar with, takes the mystique out of the lifestyle, and simply shows you as being a person, with tastes that in all likely hood are probably not too different from their own. I dont think I have ever met a vanilla person in my life, who didn´t have either a measure of dominance, or a measure of submissive ambition in their body.
I hope this helps, and good luck.
Stephan
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