I can relate to MistressKiss. In the beginning of my relationship I would act out just to get some "action", but also felt less fulfilled in the end. I would much rather receive positive attention and play than negetive attention and punishment.
As our relationship grew, I learned that the more well-behaved I was, the more "action" I got, the kind I needed and desired and now live for.
I have found that many of the physical actions and rituals I felt so necessary in the beginning are now no longer needed. I needed them so in my own mind I could solidify my position. I had never been in this type of relationship before, so I tested its limits and found that when I try to take control, nothing progresses.
I have matured as a sumbissive and found many rewards along the way. Now it is just as satisfying to sit as his feet and read and occasssionally feel him reach down to stroke my hair. I love, and still long for intense play, but it is not on my mind. And when it does happen, because, my heart and mind were in the right place to begin with, it is so much more meaningful.
I know now, that 'way back when' he was teaching me patience and that I had no right to try to 'top from the bottom'. In time, what I wish for will come, but his needs and desires come first.
On a very personal note, I don't even climax during sex anymore and it is wonderful. I don't want it, I don't need it. His satisfaction completes me and when he finds his pleasure in me, it is better than if I had pursued my own pleasure.
I think that misbehaving intentionally is a sign of immaturity in his/her position that with patience and proper training will be resolved. I am thankful that my Daddy had this patience with me because I was a helluva a stubborn little subbie that threw tantrums daily and pouted way to much to be lady-like. I soon learned that the prospect of him taking that aspect out of our life completely was much more devastaing than not getting a whipping every day.
with respect for A/all,