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Head Trips - 4/22/2004 1:30:58 PM

Posts: 247
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Las Vegas NV
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I have had subs intentionally break rules to intensify play and fulfill the threat of punishment. I am curious, have you challenged authority to provoke an unpleasent encounter? Why? What did you get out of it?

< Message edited by GoddessMarissa -- 4/22/2004 1:31:20 PM >

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RE: Head Trips - 4/22/2004 2:19:48 PM

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Couldn't tell you Marissa, I hate to be punished and I never look for it. Honestly though, there is little that Master can do to me that hurts more then the simple knowledge I failed in what he wanted anyway.

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to GoddessMarissa)

RE: Head Trips - 4/22/2004 6:41:37 PM

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Since "punishment" isn't a part of my relationship paradigms, I'd have to say no. I have, however, knowingly goaded a top into pushing harder, but we both knew that was what I was doing. Mostly, though, if i want more "push", I simply say so. I don't always get it, but it sure improves the odds.

_____________________________

-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

(in reply to GoddessMarissa)

RE: Head Trips - 4/22/2004 7:30:25 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessMarissa

I have had subs intentionally break rules to intensify play and fulfill the threat of punishment. I am curious, have you challenged authority to provoke an unpleasent encounter? Why? What did you get out of it?

I have to agree with Sandy here. To me punishment is punishment. It isn't something I seek out. Watching some Dominants with their submissives at munches and parties. It almost appears as though they cannot really Dominate their partners sucessfully. That's usually when I see them acting up for sudo punishment. Topping from the bottom is more like it. Most of the Dominants don't ever realize that though.

Then again..maybe it's just a big game they play with one another as well. I'm not privy to their private lives.

(in reply to GoddessMarissa)

RE: Head Trips - 4/22/2004 8:39:24 PM

Posts: 247
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Las Vegas NV
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I do deal with some topping from the bottom because of my profession. I deal with subs that give contributions for sessions, but at the same time I dont deal with some on a regular basis. I try to be carefull and not overstep bounderies, so sometimes that is were topping from the bottom comes in. I say punish because clients that I do that to ask for a punishing session. I am sure some people dont relate to this, I was just curious if anyone did. As far as my personal life goes there is no such thing as topping from the bottom, anyways thankyou for your replies.

< Message edited by GoddessMarissa -- 4/22/2004 8:54:49 PM >

_____________________________

D/s makes the world go round~~
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(in reply to sub4hire)

RE: Head Trips - 4/22/2004 9:50:26 PM

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I used to act out when I felt I needed discipline, or frankly, when I felt I needed scening. Some may consider that topping from below, but in my case, I desired the expression of BDSM far more often than my ex/dom. I was much more sexual and much more anxious to play. As far as what I got out of it, I suppose on the surface I got what I wanted, which was action. Inside, it made me less fulfilled because the needs I had were not being met. Needless to say, the relationship didn't survive.

_____________________________

"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
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(in reply to GoddessMarissa)

RE: Head Trips - 4/23/2004 4:04:14 AM

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I can relate to MistressKiss. In the beginning of my relationship I would act out just to get some "action", but also felt less fulfilled in the end. I would much rather receive positive attention and play than negetive attention and punishment.

As our relationship grew, I learned that the more well-behaved I was, the more "action" I got, the kind I needed and desired and now live for.

I have found that many of the physical actions and rituals I felt so necessary in the beginning are now no longer needed. I needed them so in my own mind I could solidify my position. I had never been in this type of relationship before, so I tested its limits and found that when I try to take control, nothing progresses.

I have matured as a sumbissive and found many rewards along the way. Now it is just as satisfying to sit as his feet and read and occasssionally feel him reach down to stroke my hair. I love, and still long for intense play, but it is not on my mind. And when it does happen, because, my heart and mind were in the right place to begin with, it is so much more meaningful.

I know now, that 'way back when' he was teaching me patience and that I had no right to try to 'top from the bottom'. In time, what I wish for will come, but his needs and desires come first.

On a very personal note, I don't even climax during sex anymore and it is wonderful. I don't want it, I don't need it. His satisfaction completes me and when he finds his pleasure in me, it is better than if I had pursued my own pleasure.

I think that misbehaving intentionally is a sign of immaturity in his/her position that with patience and proper training will be resolved. I am thankful that my Daddy had this patience with me because I was a helluva a stubborn little subbie that threw tantrums daily and pouted way to much to be lady-like. I soon learned that the prospect of him taking that aspect out of our life completely was much more devastaing than not getting a whipping every day.

with respect for A/all,
Gabrielle

(in reply to MistressKiss)

RE: Head Trips - 4/23/2004 4:48:43 AM

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From: Las Vegas NV
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That was very insitefull. I deal with novice to experinced so it is helpfull to hear all asspects. Most that I deal with are professionally, so it is different because I deal with alot of people that experiment. I dont want to overstep bounderies, so I try to take that into consideration, and I dont want to scare anyone away from what is at the time there only outlet.

_____________________________

D/s makes the world go round~~
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(in reply to Gabrielle)

RE: Head Trips - 4/23/2004 8:11:48 AM

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That's a tricky area. When I share my sub side... as well as when I top... communication is the key that works for me. If I want more ball pain, wee discuss the issue up front. I might say something like, "if is say no, it might mean ... more" and then we discuss how she can push me into hurting my balls to where I want to go, but knowing she'll have to push me to get there. It's as much as a head game as it is a body game. Yes, I know the pain will be there, and having her tell me how much it is going to hurt and wheat she is going to do and how, is as important to me as is our tottal sharing. Bottom line, is that if the bottom and top are not on the same page, something is wrong. It is and should be a shairing knowing of each other, what you enjoy the sub may not...yet the sub may endure for you and vise versa.. a two way street if you wil...

Hope this helps.. but really, talk it up front. When does stop mean stop and when does no mean more.

db in WI

(in reply to GoddessMarissa)

RE: Head Trips - 4/23/2004 2:00:48 PM

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I'll reply then read posts. Sorry if this is a "me too",

My second BDSM experience (after the disaster) was with a domantrix. She was so kind to the newbie by hitting him gently I told her I'd have to try and piss her off to get spanked.

"No you don't," she said and hit me so hard I felt it in my teeth.

I can't speak for everybody, but I get off on the submission itself. Doing what you are told turns me on.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to GoddessMarissa)

RE: Head Trips - 4/30/2004 3:13:46 AM

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I do find myself acting up in the hopes of punishment. I guess I'm a pain slut, and an attention slut, that's what my Mistress says. I like a lot of the physical domination and control, and just being totally obedient without "motivation" can be boring for me, almost like I'm in control, because I'm choosing to obey, be submissive, worship my Mistress, and wait on her hand and feet. So Yes I do act up deliberately sometimes, and as time goes on I'm sure Mistress will find exactly the right way to avoid this behavior on my part.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Head Trips - 4/30/2004 5:16:15 AM

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Joined: 4/30/2004
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i act up, and get bratty if i am feeling insecure about something, and the roar from my Dom, or a slap for my behaviour makes me feel safe.

(in reply to slaveofKat)

RE: Head Trips - 4/30/2004 11:13:59 AM

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Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessMarissa

I have had subs intentionally break rules to intensify play and fulfill the threat of punishment. I am curious, have you challenged authority to provoke an unpleasent encounter? Why? What did you get out of it?

No. Punishment is never something i would intentionaly seek out. First of all, it was never enjoyable. And second, the knowledge of disappointing my Master weighed more on me then the punishment itself. Just the look in his eyes would be disheartening.

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to GoddessMarissa)

RE: Head Trips - 4/30/2004 11:48:25 AM

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Sorry it is my fetish,get in a Chastity Device, dude.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to slaveofKat)

RE: Head Trips - 4/30/2004 11:51:18 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

No. Punishment is never something i would intentionaly seek out. First of all, it was never enjoyable. And second, the knowledge of disappointing my Master weighed more on me then the punishment itself. Just the look in his eyes would be disheartening.

- feline

Yes. Knowing i failed is worse than anything she might do. The punishment is actually a good thing because when it is over then you know all is forgiven. Without punishment I'd kick myself for months.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to feline)

RE: Head Trips - 4/30/2004 12:36:56 PM

Posts: 33
Joined: 4/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKat

I do find myself acting up in the hopes of punishment. I guess I'm a pain slut, and an attention slut, that's what my Mistress says. I like a lot of the physical domination and control, and just being totally obedient without "motivation" can be boring for me, almost like I'm in control, because I'm choosing to obey, be submissive, worship my Mistress, and wait on her hand and feet. So Yes I do act up deliberately sometimes, and as time goes on I'm sure Mistress will find exactly the right way to avoid this behavior on my part.

Yes you are and yes you are...heh...you always have been an attention slut and you know it....besides you know in this house you behave or you DON'T get your spanking...j/k...Does the word "closet" mean anything to you? heh

(in reply to slaveofKat)

RE: Head Trips - 4/30/2004 6:52:40 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Just my fetish, but
enforced chastity is good for obediace

Oh the chastity is for him. He can use his mouth all you want. If you perfer pentration, he can use a strap-on if you don't want to let him out of the belt. (Warning: cuckold himself is severe psychologically.)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to Katmistress)

RE: Head Trips - 4/30/2004 9:20:29 PM

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Joined: 4/6/2004
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The closest my Wife has ever come to finding my limit was when i criticized her driving. i knew what i was doing, and what the consequences were, but it had been a while; so.... She was more than a little angry, and my ass felt it for more than a week--with daily renewals!

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Head Trips - 5/1/2004 5:37:16 AM

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Joined: 4/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

Just my fetish, but
enforced chastity is good for obediace

Oh the chastity is for him. He can use his mouth all you want. If you perfer pentration, he can use a strap-on if you don't want to let him out of the belt. (Warning: cuckold himself is severe psychologically.)

I think you might be right, iwillserveu, but Mistress is still "chewing on it". Sometimes She thinks about something for a Long time before she makes up Her mind. She really is in control because it doesn't fall on what my opinion is, although she considers it. She makes the decision. Which may be today, next week, next month, etc.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Head Trips - 5/1/2004 5:18:16 PM

Posts: 24
Joined: 4/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessMarissa

I have had subs intentionally break rules to intensify play and fulfill the threat of punishment. I am curious, have you challenged authority to provoke an unpleasent encounter? Why? What did you get out of it?

Here's an interesting Q&A from Elise Sutton's website. It describes what me and my Mistress have been experiencing, and every bit of it is true for us. This may not exactly be the correct thread for this article, but interesting anyway.

Q. Hi Elise, I'm happily married to my husband for 12 years. At my husband request I started to read your web-site and a magazine he purchased called Whap. I enjoy being dominant for the most part but there are times when I just want to love my husband. He seems to always want me to dominate him. Any advice?

A. Yes, tell your husband to appreciate what he has in you and tell him to keep his mouth shut if he wants you to dominate him. A man needs both discipline and nurturing. Fortunately for him, that is the female nature. Women like to both dominate a man and love a man. Discipline and Love go hand and hand. Your husband is probably just too eager for the domination as it moves him more emotionally and sexually than does your sweet and nurturing side. In time, he will long for both.

For now, you need to stop him from toping you from below (controlling you from his submissive role). The best way to do this is to communicate to him how you need to express both your nurturing nature and your dominant nature. Tell him that just because you want to love on him, kiss him and hug him does not mean that you are incapable of being a Bitch. Chances are he is afraid that you will lose interest in dominating him so he views your soft side as being an adversary to your dominant side. This shows a lack of understanding on his part of the female nature.

He is not alone. Many men make this same mistake and what they risk is driving their wife out of FemDom with their demands for domination. A submissive needs to concentrate on serving his wife and seducing her dominance with his submission. The best way for a man to stir those dominant juices in a woman is by submitting to her in a humble fashion. The worst thing a man can do is to nag a woman to be dominant.

What you need to do is to relax and don't allow him to pressure you. Find what you enjoy about being a dominant woman and incorporate it into your relationship with him. Discover what his D&S interests are and explore his submission with him but use your knowledge as a tool to drive him deeper into submission to you. This lifestyle is about your needs being met by him. It is not about him pressuring you to be what he wants. Let him know this and don't be afraid to tell him that if he tries to control you, than you will not dominate him inside of the bedroom. Tell him that if he wants to be dominated inside of the bedroom, than he better also obey you outside of the bedroom.

< Message edited by slaveofKat -- 5/1/2004 7:21:32 PM >

(in reply to GoddessMarissa)

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