Orgasm

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WhyteRavenne -> Orgasm (9/25/2006 1:01:37 PM)
Here is probably the best place I can post this question.. Is orgasm really that special to you? Do you enjoy it? Is it worth having one? Do you have to work at it? For me.. .since I can't ask a question without saying my piece: Male orgasm is a fetish of mine.. since it often comes (hee hee) with ejaculation. Female orgasm is nice when it's with someone I care about. I do not really care either way if I have an orgasm, since I find it too much of a pain. I can get MYSELF off in 1 minute (tops!), but, having someone else try is like trying to find a diamond in a kiddie sand pit, it "ain't gonna happen". (that's not true, I can orgasm with others, but, I tend to get bored trying).

SirJinPA -> RE: Orgasm (9/25/2006 1:12:00 PM)
You sound just like my pet. I love for her to orgasm because I love to see her lose control like that, to know she is completely in my hands (so to speak). But, she says she feels so guilty that We are focusing on her pleasure at that time that it is nearly impossible for her to orgasm. she also knows how much I enjoy seeing her let go like that, so she feels even more pleasure to cum, which again is self defeating. she says she gets more enjoyment from My orgasm than from her own. I don't see how that is possible, but then again I am not a slave. I am not sure if that helps or not, but take it for what it is worth.

Nimkii -> RE: Orgasm (9/25/2006 1:17:15 PM)
I always enjoy watching my Mate orgasm. I have paid close attenion to her body and its reactions to certian touches. Now I enjoy knowing for a fact if I want her I can make it happen with ease. Then again I also like to control it and make her wait for a while as well. to the brink and back a few times then let her go. As for Myself I enjoy my orgasms. But then again in being male its only time and speed in order for it to happen. Us men have it easy when it comes to that department.

Takethiswaltz -> RE: Orgasm (9/28/2006 8:09:29 PM)
Dear Whyteraven, I, too can reach orgasm in one minute without living, breathing partner; but I don't really think of them as "real" orgasms. I see them more as physical release. A real orgasm, to me, requires a partner and his ability to enhace my relaxation. These are the best, and yes, I couldn't imagine living without them. (Although I do, at times, live without them)[:(] Sincerely, T.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Orgasm (9/28/2006 8:12:57 PM)
I'm waiting for someone to say no, I don't enjoy orgasms. quote: ORIGINAL: WhyteRavenne Do you enjoy it?

Takethiswaltz -> RE: Orgasm (9/29/2006 7:10:16 AM)
he-he[:D]

gardenbluebird -> RE: Orgasm (9/29/2006 7:49:15 PM)
i have a much harder time orgasming by myself than with a partner. And i absolutely love them.

JoanFrost -> RE: Orgasm (9/30/2006 5:21:03 PM)
The first thing that came to mind when I read this post was that the ambivalence or downright apathy expressed here toward orgasm by the OP sounds like the "certain sexual side effects" of many anti-depressants, especially SSRIs (selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors). If you're taking anything for depression or OCD or PMDD or a host of other conditions, it could well be that the medication is to blame. Some of the common offenders are Prozac/Serafem(sp?), Paxil, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor (actually SNRI and SSRI combo, but same side effects for many people), Lexapro, and many others. I understand that the tri-cyclics can have the same effects, but have no personal experience with them. Having taken several of those myself, I can personally attest to their ability to make orgasm virtually impossible to achieve with another person and also to the subsequent creation of a "Why even bother?" attitiude toward my own orgasm. Too, I've had numerous friends and acquaintances who've reported the same problems. For me, having had a very healthy and "normal" sexual appetite and response prior to using the anti-depressants (In my case, I tried Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Effexor before giving up on them altogether.), I knew what I was missing. It simply wasn't worth it for me to sacrifice the sexual gratification and relationship-enhancing effects it had for us, so I wound up settling on a slightly less effective med that didn't have the side effects. Anyway, just thought I'd mention this, because it was a monumental issue for me, and getting the depression under control was for me NOT an equitable exchange for my previously fab sex life. I would never presume to know what's best for another person that way, but IF you're taking one of those meds, and IF you're not content with your present level of response with a partner, you MAY wish to discuss alternatives with your health care provider. As to enjoyment, I can definitely say that an orgasm was rather ho-hum whilst I was medicated as described above. In the absence of brain-altering medication, my Orgasms are fully-deserving of being capitalized!!! Certainly not the end-all-be-all, but damned close. LOVE THEM!!! Ultimately, if you're happy with where you are/how you respond, that's all that matters. Best to you and yours, Joan

teamnoir -> RE: Orgasm (10/1/2006 8:57:58 AM)
Yes, it is special to me in both myself and my partner. Yes, I enjoy it in both myself and my partner. Yes, it is worth having (at least) one for each of us. No, I rarely have to work at it. I do still have to work at non-ejaculatory orgasms sometimes. I work on tantric practices. I work on sex magick. And I work on my partner sometimes, though not often. Partners who are non-orgasmic, singly orgasmic, or non-eso and not interested in becoming orgasmic, multi, or eso, are significantly less likely to be partners of mine for long. Similarly, if only one of us can bring the other off, we're significantly less likely to be partners for long. It's not impossible - I've been seeing someone for 7 years whom I've only gotten off a couple times, but it's less likely. I should probably add that these are my views about sex, not necessarily play. For me, play and sex are distinct, but potentially overlapping.

Aileen68 -> RE: Orgasm (10/1/2006 9:09:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhyteRavenne Is orgasm really that special to you? Do you enjoy it? Is it worth having one? Do you have to work at it? Yes. Yes. Yes. No.

blkmistressinmi -> RE: Orgasm (10/1/2006 9:20:16 AM)
As for me my orgasms come fast and furious, I to can orgasm within the first mintue with my toy or with my partner....So yes, I do enjoy them and they are well worth the wait no matter how short it may be.

gypsylee -> RE: Orgasm (10/1/2006 9:26:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster I'm waiting for someone to say no, I don't enjoy orgasms. quote: ORIGINAL: WhyteRavenne Do you enjoy it? no, i don't enjoy orgasms. in fact i hate them and avoid them at all cost. they are torturous. looks around innocently hoping for Iskander to notice

stillexploring -> RE: Orgasm (10/3/2006 6:05:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsylee quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster I'm waiting for someone to say no, I don't enjoy orgasms. quote: ORIGINAL: WhyteRavenne Do you enjoy it? no, i don't enjoy orgasms. in fact i hate them and avoid them at all cost. they are torturous. looks around innocently hoping for Iskander to notice Quite same here , its painful .i consider as worst punishment .

hypnoticblue -> RE: Orgasm (10/3/2006 10:14:49 AM)
Please please Master, whatever you do, don't make me orgasm! I can't stand it! NO! Anything but that! Shucks, I can't remember the safe word... heh

Silvermoon -> RE: Orgasm (10/3/2006 10:26:48 AM)
Hey don't laugh! I've done that lol. Only time I've ever safeworded - orgasms. Yep, I'm serious. Silver

hypnoticblue -> RE: Orgasm (10/3/2006 11:04:42 AM)
no freaking way... I couldn't ever do that. ;) You are a stronger person than I

daddysprop247 -> RE: Orgasm (10/10/2006 8:29:36 AM)
orgasm is not important or special to me...actually to be honest, i would rather not orgasm and even thinking about it makes me overwhelmed with guilt and shame. as a slave, my sole purpose sexually is to please my Master (or whomever He has told me to please). doing so is what feels most right, most natural, most comfy to me. my own physical pleasure is not relevant to anything and is at best a nuisance, so i'd rather just not deal with it at all. i used to joke to my Master that i wish He would have me circumcised (removal of clitoris and surrounding tissue) so that physical arousal wouldn't even be possible for me. and actually i was only half joking, as i find such feelings to be a burden and of no use to anyone, certainly not to my Master.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Orgasm (10/10/2006 9:13:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysprop247 orgasm is not important or special to me...actually to be honest, i would rather not orgasm and even thinking about it makes me overwhelmed with guilt and shame. as a slave, my sole purpose sexually is to please my Master (or whomever He has told me to please). doing so is what feels most right, most natural, most comfy to me. my own physical pleasure is not relevant to anything and is at best a nuisance, so i'd rather just not deal with it at all. i used to joke to my Master that i wish He would have me circumcised (removal of clitoris and surrounding tissue) so that physical arousal wouldn't even be possible for me. and actually i was only half joking, as i find such feelings to be a burden and of no use to anyone, certainly not to my Master. The question is does HE feel that? Does HE feel your sexual pleasure is irrelevant? Does HE gain pleasure from your guilt and shame? If your sole purpose is to please him- then feeling guilty and shameful over the ways in which he's pleased seems to go against that. You should be as thrilled to please him by giving him orgasms when he demands as you are with any other order, yes? In a way you're being very selfish in suggesting that your orgasm should NOT be a way in which your master can gain pleasure from you, and that you don't feel good about giving that to him.

daddysprop247 -> RE: Orgasm (10/10/2006 10:11:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross The question is does HE feel that? Does HE feel your sexual pleasure is irrelevant? Does HE gain pleasure from your guilt and shame? If your sole purpose is to please him- then feeling guilty and shameful over the ways in which he's pleased seems to go against that. You should be as thrilled to please him by giving him orgasms when he demands as you are with any other order, yes? In a way you're being very selfish in suggesting that your orgasm should NOT be a way in which your master can gain pleasure from you, and that you don't feel good about giving that to him. all good questions/points. i do not know what i would do if i had a Master who desired or worse, commanded, me to orgasm. it has never been easy for me to reach orgasm (i can count on one hand the orgasms i've had in my lifetime), and i certainly could never do so on command. fortunately my Master seems to differ from most, in that He does not gain any pleasure from making me orgasm, or from my being sexually aroused, and actually multi-orgasmic or easily aroused submissives are undesireable to him. He does not forbid me to orgasm, nor is he irritated or upset if i happen to experience some physical pleasure during sex (because i am not vocal or expressive about it), however...it's more that it doesn't really matter to him one way or the other, as long as my service to him is not effected. i really do not know exactly why i feel such guilt and shame over feelings of sexual arousal and pleasure, it has just always been that way, and has only increased since i became a slave 6 yrs ago. i imagine this would be a big issue if i had a different sort of Master.

Marc2b -> RE: Orgasm (10/10/2006 5:52:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhyteRavenne Here is probably the best place I can post this question.. Is orgasm really that special to you? Do you enjoy it? Is it worth having one? Do you have to work at it? For me.. .since I can't ask a question without saying my piece: Male orgasm is a fetish of mine.. since it often comes (hee hee) with ejaculation. Female orgasm is nice when it's with someone I care about. I do not really care either way if I have an orgasm, since I find it too much of a pain. I can get MYSELF off in 1 minute (tops!), but, having someone else try is like trying to find a diamond in a kiddie sand pit, it "ain't gonna happen". (that's not true, I can orgasm with others, but, I tend to get bored trying). What? Are you fucking kidding me? I love having orgasms and I've always assumed that everyone else did too. I also love watching women orgasm, especially multiple orgasms, and not just because its ego flattering (hey! look what I did!) but simply because the sight of a woman orgasming is very beautiful. I also greatly enjoy watching them coo and sigh during the after glow of a really intense orgasm. I can get off quickly but why would you want to? There is a definate quanity versus quality relationship to orgasms. I prefer quality. Why have a bunch of little so-so orgasms every day when you can have one super-duper deluxe max orgasm once or twice a week. Timing, not just when you have them but during arousal and foreplay as well, is everything. Learn about yourself and your own responses, and you can visit Nirvana on a regular basis. Which brings me to something else. I don't want to hijack the thread but I would like to say that those of you who believe that only women can have multiple orgasms (it appears to be a commonly held myth) are wrong. I know this from personal experience. Perhaps I am one of the few men who have learned how to do it. I am curious to know if any other men can multiple orgasm or if any of the women know any men who can do so.

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