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Interest - 4/23/2004 8:47:25 AM

aimdb12001

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Being a male of 54, I have enjoyed shairng my cbt, bdsm, sub interest since I was 16. Yet to this day I have a difficult time discussing my specific interest with a woman. I share my interest with a woman friend from time to time but not as much as could be. My friend is 200 miles from where I am so it's difficult to find the time to share.

My wife of over 10 years knows of my interest and of which she has none. We have long agreed to go our separate roads when it comes to my sub interest, just something that works for us.

Ok... I'm seeking to share with a pro or non pro in my area. that being said and as we all know, one simply has to seek and they will find. Now the question is, even though I beleive in communication, I have always found it difficult to to discuss my interest in cbt and ball play. I certainly do not to bring an end to the start of the conversation. I have long ago found that women have much more open minds then men do. Yet men have a difficult time in expression themselves. We always seem to thing that the woman knows what we need and or want.. vary not true.

I want to try new things.. I love and hate ball play but I find it The most personal thing I can give and share with a woman... it's so personal fot me, as any of my cbt interest. So how do I open up... it's tough.. I need to move past this mind block and just ask.. I guess. Maybe I should bring a completed quiz form and mark everything that I want and desire to share...lol.

Most of all and most important for me.. is that the woman enjoy herself. I f she does not enjoy say, hitting the balls.. then why would she do it? I certainly would not want her to do anything that does not fulfill her desires and needs. If the woman does not enjoy herself, does not enjoy her fulfillment, her desires, finds the shairng errotic.. then whats the point?

I know... rambling...

looking for more in Wi
db

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RE: Interest - 4/23/2004 11:33:02 AM

GoddessMarissa

Posts: 247
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Las Vegas NV
Status: offline

If you are dealing with someone that is a Pro, it is easier to say what you want because you are requesting a session. Everyone is different with there partners as far as rules of there house. Now this is just me I have a sub partner that has expressed many desires, wants, needs, fears from as far back as childhood. After opening his heart to me I go from there and deside what he needs from me. It is all about comunication, if you are having difficulties maybe you can try a more subtle approach like when you are playing make it a point to say please dont hurt my balls. Something of that nature, you know what I mean. It might not happen right away but she will know.

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RE: Interest - 4/23/2004 2:19:08 PM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I'm not sure how every pro will handle it, however, you might have to be prepared to have her contact your wife to be sure she isn't "the other woman".

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When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

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RE: Interest - 4/23/2004 3:21:22 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

I think this is where internet relationships have an advantage. I find it much easier to open up and talk about personal things with my online friends than i do with my long time real life friends. In fact there are only a few real life friends that know of my bdsm interests but numerous online friends do and they love to discuss it. Maybe you would find it easier to build a friendship online before meeting someone in person, and by the time you meet she will know exactly what you enjoy. Just a thought.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

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RE: Interest - 4/23/2004 9:09:11 PM

LadyBeckett

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

I agree with proudsub in at least as much as you can begin your communication in that way, however you have at least come to a point where you realize that you have to communicate communicate communicate! There is just nothing to replace that toward building a lasting and mutually beneficial relationship, regardless of whether it is "vanilla", professional, or BDSM. Be clear about what you want, what you expect, and what can be expected of you. From that point on...it is all good!

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"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

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