RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's

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EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/27/2006 1:12:17 PM)
Najakcharmer quote: n short, there should be ladies sitting around all day waiting for every idiot to walk in the door and demand that they wear certain clothes and act out a certain fantasy/fetish scenario....for free? Sorry cholly, no can do. Nobody can. And yet there really is a need for such services, since there are a lot of guys out there who are not ready or not able to be in an actual relationship with another human being. They do need their kinky fantasies fulfilled, and they will either end up seeing a pro or lying, decieving, harrassing or otherwise annoying dominant women who are looking to get their own needs met rather than just catering to guys who don't have the time or energy to give anything of themselves to another human being. A man who is ready, willing and able to give of himself and make room in his life for a relationship with another human being should seek out such a relationship. A man who just wants to compartamentalize his kink needs and get "done" the way he needs to get "done" every so often, without taking time and energy out of his life to give to another person, needs to see a pro and compensate her accordingly. Thank goodness for pros, because they fill a need that is very prevalent in this lifestyle. There are a lot of men who flat out don't have anything to give a dominant woman that would meet her needs or make her happy. Fortunately there is a place for them, and that place is with a professional, so that the transaction is fair and honest on both sides. That is a much more honest and ethical relationship than it would be otherwise between a guy who just wants to get "done" his way without much concern for the needs and desires of another human being in a relationship, and a dominant woman who has needs, desires and expectations of her own. If a guy asks me to play, and he likes the same things I do in scene (or is willing to do the things I like so that we will both have a good time), and he wants to relate to me as a human being and a friend rather than as a cardboard cut-out fetish doll who exists only as the object of his fetish, then we'll probably have a darn good time together. But the number of guys who actually fit this criteria by their own choice are remarkably small. I am not willing to be a fetish actress for every guy who demands it with no consideration for my needs and desires and no interest in me as a person. I like what I like and I want what I want, and I only want to do those things with people who are interested in me as a human being and not as a life support system for a leather corset and a whip. So I am very, very grateful for pro dommes who will do these things for fair compensation, since they meet a real need in our lifestyle. [sm=applause.gif]

EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/27/2006 1:15:57 PM)
if someone approaches me and is able to commit or submit to the things i demand of from a personal slave.. then that's what they are.. no financial tribute is required because they tribute me with their servitude. if someone is approaching me knowing DAMN well he wants to submit only when he's feeling kinky, can't devote the time i require, and wants me to have all the bells & whistles.. then damn straight he's going to tribute me. pro dommes are oftentimes the first induction into fetish that many males have. sometimes they decide that this interaction is lacking. usually they want to be owned rather than a few kinky hours of play on a saturday when it fits his schedule. then you have males that want a few kinky hours on a saturday when it fits his schedule and doesn't want or is incapable of a personal interaction beyond fulfilling his needs. i know many pro dommes that also have personal slaves. i know semi-pro dommes such as myself, who will take those personally who can commit to my demands on a personal level, but also will take a tributed session if we agree to interact but he's not willing to commit to the level that a lifestyle domme would require. doctors love helping people.. should they treat everyone for free just because they love it? but of course there are some doctors who will go work for free at a clinic in their spare time or lawyers who accept pro bono assignments. if i invest in dungeon equipment, toys, whips, electro gear, rubber etc.. damn skippy i expect my slaves to contribute. and they have NO problem in doing it because they want these things as much as i do. sure i buy some of my own gear, but they buy the majority of it. if i want a sex swing then someone will get it. why should i buy it? i'm not gonna be the one impaled on the end of a strapon while suspended from a cieling. i think pro dommes take the brunt off of lifestyle dommes who would just get jerked around, investing time and energy into training someone that knows damn well he should go see a pro domme but just doesn't want to pay. but then he expects his lifestyle domme to have all the bells & whistles? that's selfish.. and the epitome of what i'd NOT accept from ANY male that approaches me.

Najakcharmer -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/27/2006 3:58:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EbonyFtshGoddess i think pro dommes take the brunt off of lifestyle dommes who would just get jerked around, investing time and energy into training someone that knows damn well he should go see a pro domme but just doesn't want to pay. but then he expects his lifestyle domme to have all the bells & whistles? Amen, sister. And that's why I'm grateful that there are pro dommes, because you ladies help keep those guys out of my ballpark. :) They do need somebody to play with, and they are not truly willing and not able to give a dominant play partner anything except a fair trade of their money for your time, energy, toys and skills. Most of the pro dommes I know feel the exact same way. A client can become a friend or a personal subbie, and someone who truly treats her as a human being and a friend tends to graduate very quickly from client to relationship, whether that relationship can be described as friendship or a personal D/s relationship. It's all about give and take. Some people can give of themselves, of their lives, and from their hearts. Some people can't or won't, so they have to give something else to make the transaction fair and honest. Seeing a pro is about taking personal responsibility for getting your own needs fulfilled. It is MUCH more honest and ethical than expecting a domme to "do you" for free in just the way you want when you want it, without you having to make room for a real human relationship and a real human being in your life. And let's face it, a lot of you guys who want to play really don't have that room, so there has to be a fair trade-off of something you are giving back to her in return for her time, energy and toy investment. Selfishly demanding to "get done" your way for free without being willing to give anything back to your partner isn't fair or ethical. In fact it's a pretty shitty thing to do to another human being. I'd much rather that folks in that kind of position see a professional, since that is a lot more fair for everyone.

EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/27/2006 6:00:22 PM)
Najakcharmer quote: Amen, sister. And that's why I'm grateful that there are pro dommes, because you ladies help keep those guys out of my ballpark. :) hehe.. i see where you're coming from, but i'm not a pro domme. i just often get mistaken for one. professional domination is not my livelihood. i'm a mortgage banker (ugh i hate corporate america, but at least i get to work from home)... i've only had 4 pro sessions in germany and none in america so far. i HAVE thought about going full pro.. but i love my personal bitches too much because i would get from them what i couldn't from a client. as it stands RIGHT now, and of course for me that will change in the future, i only have lifestyle slaves. the ones i took in germany was with a domme i know that has a pro dungeon and she knew i was coming to germany and she had a lot of requests for a black domme. i was like.. eh.. screw it. i love beating german boys.. why not.. it'll give me some extra spending money in europe for doing what i love anyway. even if i WERE to be a full on pro domme i wouldn't take just any bloke off of the streets. and i've tried before once and didn't do a single session from it because all the men i spoke to didn't strike my fancy. i would still treat my clients as i treat my lifestyle boys. I'm the Big Boss Lady around my camp. what i say goes. and if they wanted to tribute me for my time.. so be it. but bet your ass it'll be on MY terms. and no other way. if they don't like it.. hop skip skeedaddle on to the next

MisPandora -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/27/2006 9:33:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wild1cfl quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora quote: ORIGINAL: wild1cfl I agree with you both as well, I looked at her profile and thought, "okay here is another stripper who thinks she can make some money smacking some poor guys ass for 20 minutes and calling them names. To me this does not show Dominance at all Pro or not. Hey now, don't insult the strippers! MisPandora, You are correct I should not insult the strippers, this con artist and generally despicable person should not be grouped with strippers. My apologies. I also see from one of your post a little farther down the page that you also agree in calling this person what she is and I must say that you did it quite well. I for one respect Pro Dommes like yourself who are in the lifestyle for more than just the money, my wife did it for a while and while she is a wonderful Domme I am glad that she has stopped the Pro stuff to concentrate only on our submissives now. Hello!!!! I am NOT a pro dom. I've said over and over, I WAS a pro dom and have retired back in 2001. No longer. No more. History. Capiche?

Zinja2007 -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 6:00:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA2 Pro-Dommes would be fine...if they didn't charge In short, there should be ladies sitting around all day waiting for every idiot to walk in the door and demand that they wear certain clothes and act out a certain fantasy/fetish scenario....for free? Sorry cholly, no can do. Nobody can. And yet there really is a need for such services, since there are a lot of guys out there who are not ready or not able to be in an actual relationship with another human being. They do need their kinky fantasies fulfilled, and they will either end up seeing a pro or lying, decieving, harrassing or otherwise annoying dominant women who are looking to get their own needs met rather than just catering to guys who don't have the time or energy to give anything of themselves to another human being. A man who is ready, willing and able to give of himself and make room in his life for a relationship with another human being should seek out such a relationship. A man who just wants to compartamentalize his kink needs and get "done" the way he needs to get "done" every so often, without taking time and energy out of his life to give to another person, needs to see a pro and compensate her accordingly. Thank goodness for pros, because they fill a need that is very prevalent in this lifestyle. There are a lot of men who flat out don't have anything to give a dominant woman that would meet her needs or make her happy. Fortunately there is a place for them, and that place is with a professional, so that the transaction is fair and honest on both sides. That is a much more honest and ethical relationship than it would be otherwise between a guy who just wants to get "done" his way without much concern for the needs and desires of another human being in a relationship, and a dominant woman who has needs, desires and expectations of her own. If a guy asks me to play, and he likes the same things I do in scene (or is willing to do the things I like so that we will both have a good time), and he wants to relate to me as a human being and a friend rather than as a cardboard cut-out fetish doll who exists only as the object of his fetish, then we'll probably have a darn good time together. But the number of guys who actually fit this criteria by their own choice are remarkably small. I am not willing to be a fetish actress for every guy who demands it with no consideration for my needs and desires and no interest in me as a person. I like what I like and I want what I want, and I only want to do those things with people who are interested in me as a human being and not as a life support system for a leather corset and a whip. So I am very, very grateful for pro dommes who will do these things for fair compensation, since they meet a real need in our lifestyle. Hats off to you![sm=dance.gif]

michaelGA2 -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 6:06:07 AM)
isn't a Pro-Domme really a submissive in Domme Clothing? i mean, they get paid by the sub, are handed a list of things that the sub wants and doesn't want and they pretty much follow that list. they, in essence, conform to the needs, wants and desires of the sub, thus making the sub the Dom and the Domme the sub? afterall, they are being diredted by the sub...aren't they?

thetammyjo -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 6:17:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA2 isn't a Pro-Domme really a submissive in Domme Clothing? i mean, they get paid by the sub, are handed a list of things that the sub wants and doesn't want and they pretty much follow that list. they, in essence, conform to the needs, wants and desires of the sub, thus making the sub the Dom and the Domme the sub? afterall, they are being diredted by the sub...aren't they? I think it depends on the pro. I don't think however they are submissive so much as topping, service topping, if they only go by what the client wants. I suspect that's a quick recipe for burnout. In reality though I've know a lot of non-pro service tops and each person does have to get something from a relationship or session or they will leave it. Anyone who says they never consider their partner's interestes, desires, or needs, is, in my opinion, still living in their fantasy of how BDSM functions. They likely have only very short relationships or haven't had them at all. I've known a few prodoms who while considering what a client wanted had a standard session of things they wanted to do and that is what they did -- the client didn't like it, there were others who did. There was a documentary I saw years ago about a prodom house in NYC, I don't have a copy of it but maybe someone else can remember the name. In that business there were several prodoms and each had a speciality but sometimes they also took requests. It was a good documentary I thought because it dealt with real issues of customers who book but don't show, the dangers that can develop in a session, the variety of fetishes and interests, and it made the pros look more human than many protrayals.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 6:19:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA2 isn't a Pro-Domme really a submissive in Domme Clothing? i mean, they get paid by the sub, are handed a list of things that the sub wants and doesn't want and they pretty much follow that list. they, in essence, conform to the needs, wants and desires of the sub, thus making the sub the Dom and the Domme the sub? afterall, they are being diredted by the sub...aren't they? So when I do things that are pleasing to my submissive (because I know it, or he's told me), I'm submitting to him? But since it's for free, it's okay and still domination??????? M

ToGiveDivine -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 6:34:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA2 isn't a Pro-Domme really a submissive in Domme Clothing? i mean, they get paid by the sub, are handed a list of things that the sub wants and doesn't want and they pretty much follow that list. they, in essence, conform to the needs, wants and desires of the sub, thus making the sub the Dom and the Domme the sub? afterall, they are being diredted by the sub...aren't they? So when I do things that are pleasing to my submissive (because I know it, or he's told me), I'm submitting to him? But since it's for free, it's okay and still domination??????? M If you choose to do something that pleases your sub, isn't that your choice to reward? If a sub does something wrong, they can be punished (also the Domme's choice) and if they've done well, then maybe they'll get a reward. Since the Domme and Sub are supposed to have some kind of relationship and set some sort of guidelines at the beginning, then if rewards are part of the deal I don't see it as the Domme is submitting to anyone.

LotusSong -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 6:40:28 AM)
If someone is paying me.. I would be obligated. If they are not.. it is what I choose to do.

LaTigresse -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 6:42:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA2 isn't a Pro-Domme really a submissive in Domme Clothing? i mean, they get paid by the sub, are handed a list of things that the sub wants and doesn't want and they pretty much follow that list. they, in essence, conform to the needs, wants and desires of the sub, thus making the sub the Dom and the Domme the sub? afterall, they are being diredted by the sub...aren't they? I am curious then Michael...Do you want a Domina that does NOTHING you like? Does not allow you to do ANYTHING you enjoy?

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 6:46:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine If you choose to do something that pleases your sub, isn't that your choice to reward? If a sub does something wrong, they can be punished (also the Domme's choice) and if they've done well, then maybe they'll get a reward. Since the Domme and Sub are supposed to have some kind of relationship and set some sort of guidelines at the beginning, then if rewards are part of the deal I don't see it as the Domme is submitting to anyone. I told you that you show signs of a mature gentleman... And if your kinks matched mine, I'd have requested your derriere show up in RI pronto. It's just interesting that while some women are very comfortable accepting all sorts of things like mortgage payments, flowers, cars, etc., they are at the same time completely uncomfortable with the currency used for it all. M

ToGiveDivine -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 6:54:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig ..., I'd have requested your derriere show up in RI pronto. Hmmmm, either the only thing she likes about me is my butt, or she considers me a total ass ROFL

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 7:01:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig ..., I'd have requested your derriere show up in RI pronto. Hmmmm, either the only thing she likes about me is my butt, or she considers me a total ass ROFL Not a total ass at all, and as for the judgement on your butt, shouldn't you send me a photo first? [&:] M

Jasmyn -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 7:19:10 AM)
quote: isn't a Pro-Domme really a submissive in Domme Clothing? i mean, they get paid by the sub, are handed a list of things that the sub wants and doesn't want and they pretty much follow that list. they, in essence, conform to the needs, wants and desires of the sub, thus making the sub the Dom and the Domme the sub? afterall, they are being diredted by the sub...aren't they? Though I realise it's an easy assumption for the ignorant to make but what I have highlighted is far from the norm of dungeon clientel. Mostly they don't have a script, don't want one and don't need one. We will discuss the basics of negotiation ... injuries they may have, health concerns if any, personal concerns if any (ie no marks, don't want the boys at rugby practice seeing their strippy bum), anything in particular they may have tried, liked not liked, anything in particular they have a burning desire to do/explore ... and that's about it ...except me telling them their saving grace is the word 'mercy' and issuing a couple of general rules and expectations that I have ... then I pretty much do whatever I want.

EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 7:21:28 AM)
quote: So when I do things that are pleasing to my submissive (because I know it, or he's told me), I'm submitting to him? But since it's for free, it's okay and still domination??????? PRECISELY. see the only distinction he seems to be making is between a pro domme being paid and a lifestyle dominant not being tributed. where his little theory falls short is in the fact that most subs come to all dommes with a laundry list of wants or likes. and in effect that's fine because if i'm not into what they are then i'll tell them and they can keep on truckin. i know a really good pro domme friend of mine here in LA.. she controls the sessions. sure they tell her their limits but that's about it. his very view is very myopic and that argument simply doesn't hold water. there are pro dommes that cater to the sub and there are lifestyle dominants that do the same. on the flipside there are pros & lifestylers that do what they want. a slave that approaches someone is pretty much putting himself into her hands for her to utilize him as she sees fit. a submissive male is more likely to give a laundry list of do's and dont's. he's attempting to quantify things in a black or white fashion- when in reality, nothing in life is black or white.. it's all a nice shade of gray. that's a very myopic view of the situation he possesses.

MisPandora -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 7:28:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA2 isn't a Pro-Domme really a submissive in Domme Clothing? i mean, they get paid by the sub, are handed a list of things that the sub wants and doesn't want and they pretty much follow that list. they, in essence, conform to the needs, wants and desires of the sub, thus making the sub the Dom and the Domme the sub? afterall, they are being diredted by the sub...aren't they? michael, I'm sorry to say that for many professional dominas, you've got that all wrong. I'll give you a portrait of a typical 1 hour visit to a pro. He calls from the corner, and she directs him to the door, meeting him in a business suit or similarly respectable street clothes. She brings him into an anteroom and conducts a negotiation. During this process, a good pro will poll the interests of the individual. She'll understand what drives him, and what things he wants to avoid, either because of disinterest, bad experiences, or limits (emotional or physical.) She offers him the opportunity to ask and have answered any questions he might have. During this time, she's keenly observing his state-of-mind and may ask questions that would shed more light on his experience level, where his mind has been, or if he's in a particular hurry with his day. She'll do a health and welfare check, making sure that he's physically well, with no conditions that she would urgently need to respond to, and that he's eaten and has drank something, and that he's not under the influence of mind-altering substances. She'll provide a safeword or a safe signal, depending on what she's already planning in her mind. She then creates in her mind, the next hour. She quickly changes, allowing the slave to contemplate his fate. And then she orchestrates the scene as chosen by HER for her client. Nowhere is she stepping and fetching.......nowhere. And if I look at how I do things now that I'm retired.....there's really no major difference. I see who I want, when I want, at my convenience, and I do what I want, showing interest in their kinks as it pleases me (because I only see those who are likeminded.) The only difference is that I'm not paid in money for it....

MisPandora -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 7:30:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong If someone is paying me.. I would be obligated. If they are not.. it is what I choose to do. I personally feel the pro is obligated to provide an expertly-given quality session in a safe environment that is an expression of safe, sane and consensual BDSM and incorporating the client's interests and fantasies.

LotusSong -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/28/2006 7:35:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora I personally feel the pro is obligated to provide an expertly-given quality session in a safe environment that is an expression of safe, sane and consensual BDSM and incorporating the client's interests and fantasies. So would I, if given the same situation. Returning clients are what pay the bills.

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