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RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/27/2006 10:06:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UnsureBoi

Hello everyone. With the most respect possible, I'm curious why all the Dommes are usually middle age and up? I know there are some younger ones, doesn't seem like there are many nor many in my area for sure. I'm 22 and have been looking for several years for a Domme, and have came to this conclusing. I can't say that I mind older Dommes, and doesn't bother me, but curious lol...

I used to be a younger femdom. Now I am older. Funny thing - -aging!

When I was younger, I wanted younger submissives. Now that I'm older, I want younger submissives (heh). When I was in my early 20s I was dominating men around my age or a few years younger.

I do take issue though with those that feel younger femdoms are not legitimate or not experienced enough. At 22 I was absolutely passionate about BDSM and had been doing it for more than 5 years, completely integrating it into all my relationships. I was very capable and very mature about it. When I think back to my skills and maturity (I'm 37 now), I don't doubt that I was any less capable than many femdoms who are much older. I think was more "mature" BDSM-wise than in many other aspects of my life -- simply based on experience.

Akasha

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(in reply to UnsureBoi)

RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/27/2006 10:33:28 AM

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From: Sin City
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Ooops! It was supposed to be a fast reply. My apologies!

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RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/27/2006 10:37:06 AM

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From: Houston, TX
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no worries :) just wasn't sure if I sent out an incorrect impression.

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RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/27/2006 11:04:08 AM

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The answer, in my experience, is that there are more older Dommes out there. But then again many of us don't mind that at all. I can't know where you're coming from with the question, but I might also ad just a bit of unsolicited advice. If you are looking for Brittney Spears in a pink corsette and matching riding crop, know that that is probably never going to happen, my friend. But if you can get past that Playboy image, and concentrate not on age, not on weight, not on classic "good looks" you will find a wealth of usable experience, creativity and passion that would blow Brittney's mind (which I admit, probably isn't that hard to do... but you know what I mean.)

LAsub

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/27/2006 11:38:00 AM

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Demistress :)

Could you compare yourself at your current age as to how you were when you started in your earlier years? Do you see yourself as the same .. or better? etc :)

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RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/27/2006 11:53:34 AM

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From: Dela-where?
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Demistress :)

Could you compare yourself at your current age as to how you were when you started in your earlier years? Do you see yourself as the same .. or better? etc :)

Hey Lotus,

Hrmm....I'll do my best.... I think it depends on your prospective. I am always learning new things, and trying to improve myself, I hope that I will continue to only get 'better' with age. I am going to my first DomCon in a week if I can find some people to carpool/rideshare (not particularly eagre to go on the Harley that's a long drive for me to be done straight through solo.) I love watching other doms and domme work, nto because I get off on it (not a visually stimulated person) but because I learn from it. In my knowledge and skill set, I strive for constant expansion.

However, I have lost some of the passion that comes from a particular kink being new, and novel. I have also lost some of my ability to be a raging bitch, while I, and my family and friends generally consider this a positive, some Subs would actually have been more fulfilled by the younger me, as I was a far better humiliatrix back then. I have always practed SSC, although I didn't know what it was back then LOL.

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(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/27/2006 12:24:48 PM

Posts: 6334
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From: Domme Emeritus
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Thanks for your reply :)

For me, if you want energy and passion.. go younger.. if you want more of deep mind melt..go with the older?

I know when reading my past logs of the sessions I would do in the begining..I pulled out all the stops. I started to hone it down to what works best. What it was that got more concentrated results. Now days, I just work smarter not harder :)

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Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to demistress)

RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/27/2006 1:10:29 PM

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
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I'm 24 years old, and I've been active in my real life regional scene for 6 years. We're out here. Trust me.

My opinion as to why the greater percentage of Dommes are 35 and up is because there is somewhat of a generation gap. Most of the people in the region I live in are old enough to be my parents. I'm pretty happy about that, as I get along, and have more in common, with people who're much older than myself. I enjoy a mix of ages and I believe it adds depth to our community.

You may feel as though you don't have anything in common with those who're much older than you. That's the beauty part....you have the lifestyle in common with millions of other people. No matter our demographics, what we do binds us together in ways we may have never thought of.

As always, YMMV...

MrsShadows

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(in reply to UnsureBoi)

RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/27/2006 2:18:43 PM

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It takes most Dommes several years to get their BDSM certification. After that there is residency, student loans, opening up a practice or relationship. Some don't actually arrive as practicing Dommes until age 64 or older.

(in reply to UnsureBoi)

RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/27/2006 2:22:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

It takes most Dommes several years to get their BDSM certification. After that there is residency, student loans, opening up a practice or relationship. Some don't actually arrive as practicing Dommes until age 64 or older.

and the best are raised on the ranch in Idaho...

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I'm not your type.
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RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/29/2006 1:40:47 AM

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Joined: 5/4/2004
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I sympathise...I am in the same situation lol. I have found most young women lack the self confidence or desire to be what I call a "domme" of course my expierence is very sheltered. Most truly dominant women are older and I imagine this comes from years of tiring of us men's crap lol.

Anyway, I am in Indiana and am in the same boat....dont feel bad....it is the typical midwest culture. I have moved around quite a bit and think that other places that are a bit more liberal have younger dommes because they are comfortable with that.

then again, you can always try converting your g/f lol.

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/29/2006 11:31:58 AM

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Dear UnsureBoi, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Well, I was young once -- This is what happens when you get a young slave boy--they wear the young dominant woman out, as to look like an old woman in a week, especially if the dominant women haven't had their 'snap-crackle-n'-pop' for breakfast.

[Note: Snap crackle 'n pop can either be Rice Crispies OR WHIPS on cute little lads like you for breakfast!!!! mmmmmwhahahaha] [[By the way--nice formal presentment position]]

Respectfully submitted with a LOT of wit,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to UnsureBoi)

RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/29/2006 12:10:38 PM

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Joined: 11/10/2005
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Frankly, who really wants a Domme who is under 30 (unless you're about 19)?

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/29/2006 12:16:00 PM

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Joined: 11/10/2005
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OK, maybe I should be a little more complete. Men reach a certain age where they realize that the 25 year old, while usually nice to look at, don't have the kind of general experience in life that gives them the ability to take charge with a man, especially one who is accustomed to a fairly dominant role in his daily life.

O woman of 40, or 50 knows how to say (and have it stick) "yeah, nice try. Now shut up and bend over."

(in reply to talltxsub)

RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/29/2006 1:14:55 PM

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Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
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Oh wait...I'm 24!

Nice try. Now shut up and bend over!

I said it! It's a miracle!

Tsk tsk tsk. Ye of little faith...

MrsShadows

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"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to talltxsub)

RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/29/2006 1:18:25 PM

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Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Women are like wine; They start out all sparkly and bubbly and gradually mature into something well worth waiting for, and much stronger.

Late thirties is the best age.

E (38!)

A woman who starts off all sparkly and bubbly and matures to be not sparkly or bubbly will taste like flat, sour, champagne.

Just saying.....

Yours,

benji

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RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/29/2006 1:23:21 PM

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Joined: 11/10/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheShadows

Oh wait...I'm 24!

Nice try. Now shut up and bend over!

I said it! It's a miracle!

Tsk tsk tsk. Ye of little faith...

MrsShadows

OK, now, it's not just saying it....it's HOW you say it and whether you can make it stick.

(in reply to TheShadows)

RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/29/2006 1:25:31 PM

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Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
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Well, cook it for just long enough until it sticks to the wall.

It's how I make my pasta, at least.

Yours,

benji

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Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to talltxsub)

RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/29/2006 1:35:57 PM

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline

Since I don't deal with argumentative slaves or SAMs, "making it stick" doesn't come up all that often. The one choice any slave of mine has is whether to obey, or not.

MrsShadows

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to talltxsub)

RE: Younger Dommes... - 9/30/2006 5:35:59 AM

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Joined: 7/14/2004
Status: offline

If your in OHIO check into your local TNG (18-35 group). A quick google search brought this up http://www.fightclubtng.org/ . I am not sure how active the group is as I have never been to ohio.

As far as age determining how good of a dominant a person is, I can testify that the theory is hogwash. Just as there are bad dominants of all ages there are also good ones. I am involved with a wonderful domme 13 years my senior, but also consider myself lucky enough to know plenty of other doms/dommes (pro and lifestyle) closer to my age or younger who are also extremely skilled.

This topic brings up something that has been bugging me for some time about the leather community, and that is the lack of recources for younger generation kinksters. When we enter the scene our age automatically makes people think we are unexperienced players and many write us off without giving us a chance. When an older person who may have less time in the scene walks into the same scenario, people are more likely to take that person seriously.

I have learned to get to know someone, maybe see them play, or engage in discussions before i rush to judgement. I think the kink community could do a lot more to make the younger generation feel more welcome. There are a lot of us who are not as lucky as I am being surrounded by so many people and recources in the scene.

I would also like to add that the reigning Ms. World Leather is a younger domme, and is known as one of the more experienced players here in Denver in many of our different leather communities. Her platform was also on making recources more available to younger generation kinksters.

(in reply to TheShadows)

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