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BDSM after hysterectomy??? - 1/17/2005 10:46:55 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I would like to hear some advice from any of you who have experienced a hysterectomy. I have been told that I have a fibroid tumor in my uterus that may require me to have a hysterectomy. For now, my doctor has me on increased doses of Depo Provera to keep my ovaries in a state of shut down. This has been working fairly well for the last couple of years now. I am a bit concerned about staying on it long term however, with all the talk of the negative effects of hormones. My doctor has also warned me that this may not work indefinitely and that I should give some consideration in advance to the option of surgery.

I am trying to weigh out the pros and cons of going through with the surgery or remaining on the shots. I realize that should I decide to go through with it that there will be a pretty substantial healing time even though the intent is to do the surgery vaginally. The questions that come to mind, aside from the health risks and benefits, are:

1. Will this affect the way we play, will we have to make any special accomodations, considerations?
2. What does hysterectomy do to the libido?
3. Is the experience of intercourse any different after?
4. Other effects that I have not thought of that others may be able to shed some light on.

Any input from those who have been down this road will be greatly appreciated.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"
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RE: BDSM after hysterectomy??? - 1/20/2005 9:35:18 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

1. Will this affect the way we play, will we have to make any special accomodations, considerations?

this slave assumes that you mean long-term, not immediately after the surgery, because obviously there wil be a period of time where you will be healing and it would be best if foreign objects are kept out of there. this slave can't think of any accomodations to make for the long-term.
quote:

2. What does hysterectomy do to the libido?

this slave has heard accounts from both sides of the fence as far as increased or decreased libido. in this slave's experience, the desire was increased and the sex was definitely more plentiful due to the fact that the excrutiating pain this slave had previously experienced during sex was no longer an issue.
quote:

3. Is the experience of intercourse any different after?

MUCH more pleasureable.
quote:

4. Other effects that I have not thought of that others may be able to shed some light on.

this link: http://www.abcinternetmarketing.com/depo-provera/
has some testimonials by women who have had bad experiences with Depo....this is a list of side effects that one woman experienced, and after working with a nutritionist for 2 years, she has been able to recover.

"I almost killed myself over depo... depo has crippled me and brought on so many symptoms I thought I was going crazy.

DEPO PROVERA SIDE AFFECTS I EXPERIENCED
50lb weight gain (half off most of it now years later)
Extreme Excitability, Nervousness (first two years terrible)
Panic Attacks, Paranoia (first two years)
Shortness of Breath (horrible first two years - still with me today)
Great loss of libido (first two years, getting better every year)
Painful intercourse (for about two years)
Severe lack of lubrication (at least 2 yrs., getting better)
Lowered immune system (still suffering but not as severe)
Loss of hair (the first year with shot, then subsided)
Now (current) unwanted hair on breasts, toes, face
Violent headaches (coming from pain at base of skull)
Extremely sore, stiff, crippled muscles all over body (still today but MUCH better than 97,98,99)
Blurry vision - trouble getting my eyes to focus on objects
Dizziness (still today - but MUCH improved)
Inability to bend over (feel like I will pass out)
Severe neck and shoulder pain (still today)
Jaw pain.. facial pain (like TMJ symptoms) 5+ years
Breast Tenderness & Pains - Fibrocystic breasts (still today)
Heart palpitations - irregular heart beat (still today)
Chronic sinus and yeast infections (still today)
Concentration and memory problems (still today)
Acne - not (teenager type acne - large boil/cyst like acne)
Suicidal thoughts because daily debilitating pain was too much "

in this slave's case, she was 26, hormone replacement therapy was NOT an option for this slave, so they left the least troublesome ovary in. considering the amount of hormone hell this slave has continued to go through for the past 12 years, she looks forward to when it finally gives out, however, the cramping, the sharp, stabbing pains, painful intercurse, the 8-10 day periods, the pre-cancerous cervical cells and the threat of a "may-pop" ovary are gone.

good for you that you are asking questions! this slave would encourage you to keep doing research and get a second or even third opinion and try every other non-pharmaceutical avenue available to you before resorting to surgery. for this slave, it was a matter of life and death as well as an attempt to have some level of function from a debilitating disorder.

hope this helps!
beth

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: BDSM after hysterectomy??? - 1/20/2005 10:10:24 AM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		My hysterectomy was in november of 1983. It was abdominal, and they removed my uterus and both ovaries (and had to do some minor things to my large intestine). I was 20 years old at the time.

My sexual drive over all has increased.

Intercourse is not painful because the problem that was causing the pain is no longer there.

Not having a menses is GREAT! I couldn't tell you what pads and tampons cost. I don't look, don't care and don't notice.

There are short term considerations regarding play, but once you're fully healed you shouldn't have any problems with play. You may find that you enjoy it more.


If I was to say anything negative about my experience it would be that they waited until neither of my ovaries could be saved. I've been in some level of menopause for just over 21 years. My early days with hormone therapy were ineffectual because they were too conservative with the hormones (trust me, yams aren't great providers of estrogen and the idea of taking estrogen made from mare urine is even less appealing). Later they gave me a LOT of hormone and it was QUITE helpful, but I had to stop taking it all together a few years ago because I am in several categories of high risk for breast cancer and pulmonary embolism. If you have ovaries that can be saved then my suggestion would be to try everything you can to save them...or at least one of them (especially if you are still a good bit away from naturally occuring menopause).

Hot Flashes suck. There is no other way to describe them. However, now that I'm older I have found they are no where near as bad as they were when I was younger. Of course, the last time I saw the doc I said "You realize I haven't taken any estrogen in like two years?!?" and he said "how old are you now? well, yanno...it's gettin' about that time anyway."

I could have gone another 10 years without hearing that and never missed it.

I haven't laid down in a dairy case at the grocery store in more than 15 years (due to a lay down or fall down hotflash), so I'm happy.

I do have inordinately dry skin, though. I've tracked it through the years and it's definitely a by product of not enough estrogen. <shrug> I use VERY GOOD moisturizing skin lotions (Lancome is the best I've found).

Of course, your mileage may vary.



_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: BDSM after hysterectomy??? - 1/20/2005 11:00:43 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

obviously there wil be a period of time where you will be healing and it would be best if foreign objects are kept out of there.


Yes I was speaking of after the healing period. I know that when they do a hysterectomy they remove the cervix also. I was wondering if this causes a significant shortening of the vagina that would interfere with normal sexual intercourse. This concerns me as Sir already "bottoms out" in there.

quote:

in this slave's experience, the desire was increased and the sex was definitely more plentiful due to the fact that the excrutiating pain this slave had previously experienced during sex was no longer an issue.


Well the pain is something I surely won't miss...not the good kind of pain at all.

In going over the list on Depo side effects I realized that I do have several of those that I have been attrbuting to other causes.....hmmm. I have never been happy about being on it as I am not much into taking drugs of any type, but the choices given to me were the excrutiating and debilitating pain....or the shots.

On a side note I would just like to say how much I appreciate and value your response. I have been following the thread on "Confession and Emotional Health" with great interest. I think you are an extemely intelligent woman. The combination of your life's experience and your self education is reason enough for me to view your thoughts as credible and valuable. Too many people today never question the word of a Doctor, like they are somewhat God-like. In my opinion, this is much like lambs following the shepherd to slaughter.

I too have a long medical history that has given me quite an education in the pitfalls of the pharmaceutical industry.

I started to become sick as a teenager and for about 12 years was sent to every type of doctor imaginable. Test after test came back negative or inconclusive. Every doctor had the new designer pill that was going to be my "miracle". None of them ever were and most of them just made things worse.

By the time I was 26 I was so sick that they told me to get my affairs in order because although they could not tell me what it was that was wrong, it was obviously going to kill me. I had been in the hospital at that point for nearly a year. I saw all of the top neurologists and neurosurgeons in the country. Each of them had a different approach ranging from yet more pills to radical brain surgery(which I chose to decline thank God).

As things turned out I was eventually diagnosed with Lyme disease. At the time, very little was really known about it and the diganosis was compounded by the fact that I live in the midwest, an area not generally considered to be endemic. No one took into account that I was born and raised in New York City and spent all of my summer's in the mountains of upstate NY.

All of the medications that were given and pumped into me were completely useless to this disease and as it turned out all I really had needed was an aggressive treatment of antibiotics. I think I took enough of them that I used to cure people when I sneezed. All is well now for the most part, although I do have some lingering effects that will probably be permanent at this point, such as headaches, heart palpitations and a slight numbness on my left side.

All of that has left me with a serious distaste for trying all the newest and latest drugs on the market....or any other drugs for that matter. I would prefer to look to nature first before I ingest the poisons that are handed out every day in physicians offices around the world. I am not saying that they do not have their place or that there are not miracles happening out there., after all it was antibiotics from a drug company that finally did help me. What I am saying is that we have become a society that is looking for the answer to every inconvenience in a pill bottle and that Drs. and drug companies have been more than eager to answer that call, at the expense and demise of many "sacrificial lambs".






_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: BDSM after hysterectomy??? - 1/20/2005 11:25:41 AM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I was wondering if this causes a significant shortening of the vagina that would interfere with normal sexual intercourse. This concerns me as Sir already "bottoms out" in there.


Your cervix isn't actually at the 'bottom' of your vagina. It's on the upper portion of the vaginal wall towards the back (if you're laying on your back). That means that you can touch your cervix and still have a little more room towards the back. Stick your clean finger in there and see what I'm saying.

I suffered no ill effects in 'length' of my vagina (although I've always been rather 'short' in that department anyway).



_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: BDSM after hysterectomy??? - 1/20/2005 11:38:41 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you MizSuz,
That was very enlightening, I had always thought of your cervix as being the end of the tunnel so to speak. That really alleviates a big fear of mine as the last thing I wanted was to have Sir "inconvenienced" in some way.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: BDSM after hysterectomy??? - 1/20/2005 11:42:27 AM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Thank you MizSuz,
That was very enlightening, I had always thought of your cervix as being the end of the tunnel so to speak. That really alleviates a big fear of mine as the last thing I wanted was to have Sir "inconvenienced" in some way.



<smile> My pleasure, but really - don't take my word for it. Go in there and check it out. A woman should know where all her parts are, don't you agree?

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: BDSM after hysterectomy??? - 1/20/2005 11:49:59 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Wow, I am surprised by the fact that you were both so young at the time. When this all came up my doctor told me that he was concerned about doing the hysterectomy because he felt I was too young. That was only a couple of years ago and I am 42 now. He said that you can never tell, I may decide I would like another child and he did not want to take away that opportunity for me. My youngest is 18. I told him that would be a fatal condition for me at this point in my life. He said "Oh no, lots of women older than you have children and do fine with pregnancy". I said...."No, you don't understand, if you were to tell me that I was pregnant today I would shoot myself right in the head". He just laughed but said he still wanted to wait a bit on the surgery.

As for the ovaries, I may be able to save one, the other has had a history of cysts that have ruptured over the years(not follicular cysts like you get each month during ovulation). He said though that I should weigh out the risks of possible ovarian cancer against the abrupt halt in hormones and the effects that causes.

There are alot of medical sites with info on hysterectomy, but I like it much better to hear the opinions of those who have been down that road. Thank you both very much for helping me with this, it is much appreciated.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: BDSM after hysterectomy??? - 1/21/2005 2:01:53 PM   
harmony3709


Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline 		I had a hysterectomy about two years ago, age 42. Abdominal though, not a vaginal hysterectomy. In my case, my sexual appetite increased, and I, for one, have never for one moment missed having a period, lol. Unfortunately I do still buy tampons and pads because my daughter got her first period when I was in the hospital having the hysterectomy making sure I would never have another!
However, while I do NOT call it interference in any way -- I have noticed an occasional difference with sex, and was told this was a shortening of the vaginal wall, which was not mentioned to me ahead of surgery. I haven't even been able to figure out exactly what causes it, but occasionally I have to either shift position or ask my partner to, or else shift position of the vibrator, etc. The first time it happened, yes, it really freaked me out because I had not been forewarned about this and was really upset because I didn't know if it would happen all the time, get worse, was temporary or permanent, etc. Luckily with time I found I would almost call it rare. But nonetheless, it was a bit of a change.

Most importantly though -- would it make me change my mind about having the hysterectomy? NO, Not at all. And I since have heard of others who experience something similar which is mild to nothing. Probably depends on how we're built.

Some people experience more dryness, which lubes can fix if needed.

I also had increased sensitivity around my incision area for probably almost a year, again no big deal,just something I definitely noticed. However, this would only be a problem with the abdominal hysterectomy anyway. Hot flashes suck, but eventually subside (at least they did for me) and I still occasionally have them, but just consider it a mild annoyance. I guess for me, who had ovaries removed also, it was being way more emotional for close to a year, and then thank God, one day it just seemed to "lift". I would burst into tears over the slightest thing!! Luckily realizing why it was happening made it more tolerable. And again, at this time, I would say that is no longer a problem for me at all.

I also personally chose not to take hormones after several months of being on them. Just my personal choice.

Take care and good luck with whatever decision you make,

harmony

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: BDSM after hysterectomy??? - 1/28/2005 12:28:02 PM   
goodwoman


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline 		my experience has differed somewhat from others who have posted. my orgasms aren't as strong as before --- i think part of the orgasm that women experience are the contractions of the uterus -- that's gone for me. and i do miss it.

there are some highly skilled physicians who can remove the fibroid and leave the uterus. that's my suggestion.

OR, because many argue that the cervix does matter... many physicians will leave the cervix (if the uterus is being removed because of fibroids).

ovaries provide some hormones all though a woman's life --- yes, even after menopause , the ovaries still produce some (although a low level) of hormones. if the physician wants to remove the ovaries, you can get bioidentical hormone replacement -- this is not the stuff made from horse urine and it isnt the yam over-the-counter stuff either. bioidentical hormones are compounded just for you.... specific to the needs of your body. in many areas of the country, it is difficult to find a pharmacist who is knowledgeable on this.. and even more difficult to find a physician. moreover, insurance doesn't always pay for the bioidentical hormone replacement. but it is worth it...it is most definitely worth it.


(in reply to harmony3709)
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RE: BDSM after hysterectomy??? - 1/28/2005 1:35:17 PM   
Hislavegurl


Posts: 30
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline 		mistoferin:

i had a hysterectomy in oct of 2002. Like you i was worried about all the things you listed. However in the end i found all my fears were unwarranted! i love having no period, sex is awesome, my libido increased. i no longer have the pain that was present during sexual intercourse, etc. The healing time was not that bad for me. i wish you luck in your decision.

Hislavegurl

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 11
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