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juliaoceania -> RE: Ownership and love (10/1/2006 3:59:50 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Noah
quote:
ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I think that some people confuse "presence" with "dominance"..one can have a forceful "presence" and not be a "dominant".
What a wonderful distinction to draw, and draw so clearly. Thanks.
Now I wonder if this is symmetrical. By this I mean to ask whether, if we replaced the words "dominance" and "dominant" in your sentence with "submissiveness" and "submissive" is there some word word which could take the place of "presence" to help us notice a comparable distinction--or even whether a certain sense of the word "presence" itself would do the trick.
Thoughts?
It is hard to word this in a way that reflects my thoughts on the matter. I think that all of us have a certain energy about us. Some of us are shy and meek, some of us forceful and assertive, some of us are domineering bullies, some of us are mild, some of us are gregarious and enthusiastic... or we can have moments when we are all these things and more....
You know that energy that fills a room? That charisma energy....well I think that a lot of people think of this energy as a dominant one. When people think of submissive, they think of shy, demure, retiring, maybe even a wallflower. It is the "stereotype" that I think people sometimes cannot get over...."The quiet eyes downcast submissive that can only be sensed when needed" myth. There is nothing wrong with this as a model for a submissive if this suits a dominant, but that is not the presense that all submissives have. It was this that I was referring to when I posted that to ownedgirlie and pennylane. The reason "a dominant" did not find them "submissive enough" was perhaps because of this stereotype? I do not know as I was not there....smiles
I know better than to think that presense equates dominance. Power exchange is something we are motivated to do, but it does not define our presense. Some people are bigger than life, but these people can be submissives too.
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