RE: Married Women

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LASub4Real -> RE: Married Women (10/2/2006 5:09:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tade But then again I still believe that deep down our society was built on the principle of you can have what you can defend, so if you can take her away for a time be my guest. Have fun trying to take mine./ ...Personally I'm flattered when a someone tries to hit on my wife and even more in love with her when she turns them away. Then again we have a GOOD marriage. And what if someone were to take that approach to say your house? If you didn't happen to wake up in time when the gang broke in.. oh well, you couldn't defend it and therefore don't deserve it! Or your car? What if everyone was a carjacker? If you can't defend it, then hey, tough luck? If someone finds your wife attractive, that is flattering If someone finds your wife attractive, and then tries to hit on her, behind your back, that is disrespectful. There is a difference.

Ropeuin -> RE: Married Women (10/2/2006 6:11:13 PM)
I must agree with many of the other posts and say that you are walking a fine line here but to each his own. First I admit I have been involved with several married women but always with the husbands knowledge. Many of the encounters included the husband watching which added to the excitement. To me there is no greater pleasure than to use a woman while her husband watches helplessly. However I'm not sure I would ever want to be involved with a woman who was willing to lie to her husband about her needs or whowaas a good enough liar to get away with it. I guess my opinion is that D/s relationships need to be built on trust and how would I be able to trust a woman who lied? Just my two cents.

Sinergy -> RE: Married Women (10/2/2006 6:38:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: amayos I refuse to dominate a married female without her husband's knowledge. Not only is it dishonorable, debasing and limited Hello A/all, This may have been the poster's intent, but I wanted to clarify my own personal ideals in concurrence with his post. I feel the behavior would dishonor me, debase me, and limit my own expression of my own personal values. The only person whose ideals I care about living up to is myself. Just me, could be wrong, but there you go. Sinergy

zumala -> RE: Married Women (10/2/2006 10:24:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Frank01 quote: ORIGINAL: sophia37 Oh gee! its another "cheating thread!" Boy are you in for it here on this site! The holier than thou brigade loves to jump into this one. We here on collarme can slap each other around, have toilet play, live with 6 lovers at the same time and any number of other off the wall things in the eyes of the mainstream world, but by golly, go get a secret lover and you're doomed. Same old same old.. I find it equally amusing that so many of the "trust honor and commitment" crowd never make a relationship last more than six months. I guess short-term serial monogamy is "superior." Who knew? [:D] Why is it that 'cheating' threads so often end up bashing marriage? Four years eight months and counting. We're doing quite well, thank you. Our marriage means a great deal to us. We did say 'until death do us part' and we /meant/ it. Surprise! zuma

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Married Woman Looking For More (10/2/2006 10:33:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CruelAussie I am a dom / master who has always had a deep desire to dominate married woman without their husband knowledge. I have been lucky over the years that i have had good success finding such women. Sometimes their husbands knew but did not participate, and while not quite as exciting still verey enjoyable. It now seems that these women are few and far between. Are all women now getting all they need from their relationships or has times changes so much that they bury their desires rather that act on them in secret. I would love to hear from Doms with a similar experences, and sub women, especially marred, on their opinion Thank You for reading my Post Aussie So you're saying that more women, in your experience, are finding fulfilling relationships or are finding fulfillment in the ones they already have? That isn't a bad thing. Wouldn't you want a woman to be happy with the one she is with? If she is cheating on her spouse, she is obviously unhappy, if only in that one way. Why cause that sort of strife? Be happy that the women you have met are happy. There will always be those that aren't, and the ones that are happen to be a dying breed. I'd recommend leaving them their peace. Believe me, I see the attraction. I don't relish it as you do, but I see it. It's knowing that you can dominate someone who belongs to someone else. It's knowing that you can provide something that they can't. Psychologically it is insecurity at its most refined.

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Married Women (10/2/2006 10:45:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sophia37 Oh gee! its another "cheating thread!" Boy are you in for it here on this site! The holier than thou brigade loves to jump into this one. We here on collarme can slap each other around, have toilet play, live with 6 lovers at the same time and any number of other off the wall things in the eyes of the mainstream world, but by golly, go get a secret lover and you're doomed. Same old same old.. Not "holier than thou". I'll leave that to Oprah. I'll just suffice it to say that lying is the one thing I truly cannot abide by. And let's face it, cheating is always lying. If it's not, then it's not cheating. As in all things, knowledge and consent are key.

Arpig -> RE: Married Woman Looking For More (10/3/2006 4:16:57 AM)
My opinion of those who cheat on a spouse is well established on these boards, so I am not going to bother reading through 4 pages of twaddle as you are condemned by some, and others attempt to defend you. You asked why you were having trouble finding such women, and I think the answer is clear....women who are not finding what they want within their marriages are leaving those marriages rather than staying in them and sneaking around. In today's world, a married woman is more likely to be a happily married woman.

marieToo -> RE: Married Women (10/3/2006 5:07:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zumala quote: ORIGINAL: Frank01 quote: ORIGINAL: sophia37 Oh gee! its another "cheating thread!" Boy are you in for it here on this site! The holier than thou brigade loves to jump into this one. We here on collarme can slap each other around, have toilet play, live with 6 lovers at the same time and any number of other off the wall things in the eyes of the mainstream world, but by golly, go get a secret lover and you're doomed. Same old same old.. I find it equally amusing that so many of the "trust honor and commitment" crowd never make a relationship last more than six months. I guess short-term serial monogamy is "superior." Who knew? [:D] Why is it that 'cheating' threads so often end up bashing marriage? Four years eight months and counting. We're doing quite well, thank you. Our marriage means a great deal to us. We did say 'until death do us part' and we /meant/ it. Surprise! zuma lol 4 whole years? Kidding! Im personally not knocking marriage, and I hope yours lasts for eternity, but everyone who is divorced "meant it" too when they said 'till death do us part'. Some of us didnt make it, but the whole undercurrent that we are people who cant keep vows is really unfair. Things sometimes change. No reason for those who are still married to knock those who are not or to imply that divorced couples are less capable of keeping their word, or not as strong, or honorable as those who are still married, or that we took our vows frivolously and didnt bother to make an effort. Thats always the implication with these threads. People who are either still married, or never been married, judging those whose marrigages didnt make it.

tade -> RE: Married Women (10/3/2006 1:40:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LASub4Real quote: ORIGINAL: tade But then again I still believe that deep down our society was built on the principle of you can have what you can defend, so if you can take her away for a time be my guest. Have fun trying to take mine./ ...Personally I'm flattered when a someone tries to hit on my wife and even more in love with her when she turns them away. Then again we have a GOOD marriage. And what if someone were to take that approach to say your house? If you didn't happen to wake up in time when the gang broke in.. oh well, you couldn't defend it and therefore don't deserve it! Or your car? What if everyone was a carjacker? If you can't defend it, then hey, tough luck? If someone finds your wife attractive, that is flattering If someone finds your wife attractive, and then tries to hit on her, behind your back, that is disrespectful. There is a difference. Isnt this what DOES happen. If someone walks up to my house and decides to break in what is really going to stop them? If they want to take my car? Just because it's against the law doesn't mean some idiot isn't going to try and then what are you to do? Call the cops and hope they make it in time to save you or give them 2 in the chest and 1 in the head. My point is that If I can;t take care of my things, be it house car or woman then I shouldn't be upset if I lose them. If my wife wants to screw around behind my back me whining about how wrong it is isn't going to stop her. If she does she was never mine in the first place.

Kashan -> RE: Married Woman Looking For More (10/3/2006 1:53:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub If all parties concerned are aware and happy with the arrangement, go for it! Have a great time! But I continue to be confused by those in this lifestyle who abuse the trust placed in them. If you are cheating on your wife, how can a submissive trust you? The OP's kink is about doing women on the sly. It's not my kink. It's not many people's kink. But isn't that the beauty of BDSM, that everyone can do their kink without being judged??? NO??? Oh well.....I certainly wouldn't be ok with anything involving children, so I guess that's my limit of acceptance.

zumala -> RE: Married Women (10/3/2006 2:43:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo quote: ORIGINAL: zumala quote: ORIGINAL: Frank01 quote: ORIGINAL: sophia37 Oh gee! its another "cheating thread!" Boy are you in for it here on this site! The holier than thou brigade loves to jump into this one. We here on collarme can slap each other around, have toilet play, live with 6 lovers at the same time and any number of other off the wall things in the eyes of the mainstream world, but by golly, go get a secret lover and you're doomed. Same old same old.. I find it equally amusing that so many of the "trust honor and commitment" crowd never make a relationship last more than six months. I guess short-term serial monogamy is "superior." Who knew? [:D] Why is it that 'cheating' threads so often end up bashing marriage? Four years eight months and counting. We're doing quite well, thank you. Our marriage means a great deal to us. We did say 'until death do us part' and we /meant/ it. Surprise! zuma lol 4 whole years? Kidding! Im personally not knocking marriage, and I hope yours lasts for eternity, but everyone who is divorced "meant it" too when they said 'till death do us part'. Some of us didnt make it, but the whole undercurrent that we are people who cant keep vows is really unfair. Things sometimes change. No reason for those who are still married to knock those who are not or to imply that divorced couples are less capable of keeping their word, or not as strong, or honorable as those who are still married, or that we took our vows frivolously and didnt bother to make an effort. Thats always the implication with these threads. People who are either still married, or never been married, judging those whose marrigages didnt make it. I'm only 29, marie, cut me a little slack [;)] I can still check in ten years from now and make a report if that'll hold any more water. I just haven't been around long enough for my marriage to have accumulated some 30-odd years. We'll get there. It does make me wonder. Why does divorce happen? If both people are really commited to the relationship, open, and willing to work together over any rough patches that come up... then why would the marriage fail? Yes, people change, but if you're talking and spending time together, it's likely that some of those changes will take place together. pup and I aren't clones, but we do share a lot of interests, some of which were discovered together after we got married. Apologies for the drifting thoughts and semi-hijack. It's just something that I don't understand and sometimes spend too much time trying to figure out. zuma

marieToo -> RE: Married Women (10/3/2006 5:49:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zumala quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo quote: ORIGINAL: zumala quote: ORIGINAL: Frank01 quote: ORIGINAL: sophia37 Oh gee! its another "cheating thread!" Boy are you in for it here on this site! The holier than thou brigade loves to jump into this one. We here on collarme can slap each other around, have toilet play, live with 6 lovers at the same time and any number of other off the wall things in the eyes of the mainstream world, but by golly, go get a secret lover and you're doomed. Same old same old.. I find it equally amusing that so many of the "trust honor and commitment" crowd never make a relationship last more than six months. I guess short-term serial monogamy is "superior." Who knew? [:D] Why is it that 'cheating' threads so often end up bashing marriage? Four years eight months and counting. We're doing quite well, thank you. Our marriage means a great deal to us. We did say 'until death do us part' and we /meant/ it. Surprise! zuma lol 4 whole years? Kidding! Im personally not knocking marriage, and I hope yours lasts for eternity, but everyone who is divorced "meant it" too when they said 'till death do us part'. Some of us didnt make it, but the whole undercurrent that we are people who cant keep vows is really unfair. Things sometimes change. No reason for those who are still married to knock those who are not or to imply that divorced couples are less capable of keeping their word, or not as strong, or honorable as those who are still married, or that we took our vows frivolously and didnt bother to make an effort. Thats always the implication with these threads. People who are either still married, or never been married, judging those whose marrigages didnt make it. I'm only 29, marie, cut me a little slack [;)] I can still check in ten years from now and make a report if that'll hold any more water. I just haven't been around long enough for my marriage to have accumulated some 30-odd years. We'll get there. It does make me wonder. Why does divorce happen? If both people are really commited to the relationship, open, and willing to work together over any rough patches that come up... then why would the marriage fail? Yes, people change, but if you're talking and spending time together, it's likely that some of those changes will take place together. pup and I aren't clones, but we do share a lot of interests, some of which were discovered together after we got married. Apologies for the drifting thoughts and semi-hijack. It's just something that I don't understand and sometimes spend too much time trying to figure out. zuma Its really not complicated. People change and grow and sometimes outgrow their spouse. Other times, people don't know their spouse the way they thought they did. Lies happen, trust gets wrecked, betrayals happen, forgiveness runs dry after a while. Both parties "adust" because of those vows and commitments to family, children, mortgages, friends etc etc. And then they each, or at least one of them, remains stagnant, as a lifeless shell merely going through the motions, not because one is a bad guy neccesarily, but becuase its harder than fuck to actually live out the belief that we have when we get married; the thought that one person....one single person is going to fulfill every single need and desire we ever grow to have. Thats alot of pressure to live under and its simply against all odds that it will actually play out like that. It has little to do with love, commitment and effort and much to do with the reality of human nature. Marriage is an institution that is doomed to failure, UNLESS you have two totally secure individuals that are willing to loosen up the grip and allow each other the necessary growth that takes place over a lifespan. Whether to explore, Ds, pursue a career, have an outlet that doesnt involve your spouse, go back to school, whatever the case may be. Most people get jealous or insecure over these things...they fear losing the other and they hold on until they smother each other. Not all marriages fail of course. Some last forever. Some last for love, others last for practical reasons and fear of change. Others yet end and it doesnt have to be veiwed as a failure. I spent 22 yrs with someone. (Im 41 now) I fell in love with him when I was 18, married him at 26, divorced him at 40. Spending 22 yrs with someone, having some fun, bringing a child into the world, then parting ways, isnt the worst thing in the world. We are each free now to live the life that we need now, which isn't the same thing we needed in our twenties. Im not saying everyone is doomed to this outcome. Im just saying that when 50% of marriages fail, we should examine what it is about the institution of marriage that causes this 'failure' rate, rather than assuming that everyone who divorced lacked honor, tenacity and commitment.

Amaros -> RE: Married Women (10/3/2006 8:21:22 PM)
Married women are very attractive for some reason, and esier to talk to in a way, and I have to admit there have been times when I was tempted - and some of those times the marriage ended up breaking up, and I felt it was my fault, even though all I ever did was some careless, and I thought, harmless, flirting to pass time with an interesting woman. What I can't forget is the look on the face of the person that got dumped, the kids moping around, etc. - not that pretty at all, and I really just don't want that on my conscience. Maybe it was destined, and I just served as the catalyst, I dunno, but I'm more careful now. As far as cheating myself, number one, who the hell has time to cheat? I've barely had time to sustain one relationship for most of my life, and I can't see how splitting myself like that is going to make me any happier - if I'm gonna love two people, it's gonna have to be at the same time and place. Swinging, therefore, I could probobly do if it seemed right, with the right person, or a mini-poly thing if the music was playing, but it isn't right at the top of my list - somewhere further down there in the contingency department - but I could probobly hang with that in a commited relationship - a significant aspect of military training is simply learning how to get along in intimate proximity with diverse individuals, it requires dicipline as well as compromise.

Amaros -> RE: Married Women (10/3/2006 8:25:56 PM)
Bottom line is, I like to know where I stand in a relationship: it's being lied to that really makes you lose respect for somebody, because it usually means they have no respect for you.

marieToo -> RE: Married Women (10/3/2006 8:35:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Amaros Bottom line is, I like to know where I stand in a relationship: it's being lied to that really makes you lose respect for somebody, because it usually means they have no respect for you. Yah..I agree, it just tends to suck no matter what side of it your'e on and no matter the type of lie or betrayal. Either way it all wrecks the trust. As far as being a homewrecker. I dont think a marriage ends for that reason. I think if it was good in the first place, one wouldnt have been looking for something else, and if it was repairable, one fling wouldnt have destroyed it. For a long time I planned on staying in my marriage for the sake of my daughter. But it was actually my ex who pushed more for the div. And now, honestly my daughter is better than she ever was before. And several of her close friends come from div families, so it didnt seem all that odd for her. I mean, it has an effect no doubt, but depending on how its handled everyone can survive and go on to live perfectly normal lives. lol. Its not a disease.

Amaros -> RE: Married Women (10/3/2006 8:37:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo quote: ORIGINAL: Amaros Bottom line is, I like to know where I stand in a relationship: it's being lied to that really makes you lose respect for somebody, because it usually means they have no respect for you. Yah..I agree, it just tends to suck no matter what side of it your'e on and no matter the type of lie or betrayal. Either way it all wrecks the trust. As far as being a homewrecker. I dont think a marriage ends for that reason. I think if it was good in the first place, one wouldnt have been looking for something else, and if it was repairable, one fling wouldnt have destroyed it. For a long time I planned on staying in my marriage for the sake of my daughter. But it was actually my ex who pushed more for the div. And now, honestly my daughter is better than she ever was before. And several of her close friends come from div families, so it didnt seem all that odd for her. I mean, it has an effect no doubt, but depending on how its handled everyone can survive and go on to live perfectly normal lives. lol. Its not a disease. Sure, I just don't want to be the one in the middle, that's all - I like things nice, simple, and straightforeward.

Amaros -> RE: Married Women (10/3/2006 8:46:00 PM)
Plus, people break up for stupid reasons, and sex is one of them - if you're not getting enough out of a relationship, you should communicate that before you start making other decisions, nobody likes being made a fool - if you don't, you're playing games.

Fawne -> RE: Married Women (10/7/2006 6:03:24 PM)
Lies, games, B.S. Not for me, TY. Honesty.... please.

SaphireLynn -> RE: Married Women (11/23/2006 4:40:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sophia37 Oh gee! its another "cheating thread!" Boy are you in for it here on this site! The holier than thou brigade loves to jump into this one. We here on collarme can slap each other around, have toilet play, live with 6 lovers at the same time and any number of other off the wall things in the eyes of the mainstream world, but by golly, go get a secret lover and you're doomed. Same old same old.. How can you trust anyone that will lie to their spouse a cheater will always do just that.... The whole D/s relationship is built on trust so tell Me who do you trust someone with the above proven characters? Ms. Lynn

MissyRane -> RE: Married Women (11/23/2006 4:51:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CruelAussie I am a dom / master who has always had a deep desire to dominate married woman without their husband knowledge. I have been lucky over the years that i have had good success finding such women. Sometimes their husbands knew but did not participate, and while not quite as exciting still verey enjoyable. It now seems that these women are few and far between. Are all women now getting all they need from their relationships or has times changes so much that they bury their desires rather that act on them in secret. I would love to hear from Doms with a similar experences, and sub women, especially marred, on their opinion Thank You for reading my Post Aussie I can't believe someone actually posting a thread about this..let alone being into this. Do you actually have no slightest respect for yourself and others just..[:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(] I feel outraged.

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