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julietsierra -> RE: i surrender (10/1/2006 5:23:27 AM)
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This thread is kind of interesting!
A) First rule in the relationship I'm in: We don't live our lives by concensus.
This means I don't ask for other people's opinions (they'll give them anyway, and usually on the basis of a lot less information than is usually even posted in these forums, so why ask.) It also means he doesn't send me out to get other people's viewpoints. They aren't living our lives, so their views, while interesting, have zero to do with what we are doing with each other.
Second rule: We may get over something, but other people never do.
This means that if he talks trash about me, it won't matter that it was just a bad day and that we've moved on. Whoever he speaks to about me will have that view of me from that day forward. Same with whatever I do.
So...we don't talk trash about each other - to anyone - even my mother (my greatest confidante, greatest fan and greatest "mentor" in life (not to be confused with "lifestyle mentor" - that she's not..
I do talk about him, but never in a negative light. There are some who don't agree with how we do things. There will always be those people around and that's their right, but I don't put him down -ever - even in jest. He is never the butt of any of my jokes and never will be.
Third rule: We have the right and obligation to walk away.
If things get too tough and we feel we can't abide by the first two rules, Each of us can always walk away - and we should.
Thank goodness we've never wanted to invoke rule #3.
juliet
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