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Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 3:03:22 AM   
Musefay


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/17/2006
Status: offline 		So,I write w/ a man for a good ten days and it goes along quite nice.Just good conversations of getting to know one another & the like. We talked breifly by phone yesterday. Nothing implied here other then our common ideals mind you I am no newbie or player.
Today he says he'll call & doesn't.Oh,I know things do come up.
Funny thing I come on here and his ad now says he wants an "online romance"
This after I say  in my last email to
him of meeting in person. In public just for coffee.
I think he either is married or all his talk was that talk
What do you think?
Ask him of the change to his profile?
Thanks,
Musefay
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 3:28:54 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		If or when you get the chance to speak with him again, I should not bring up his status on his profile.  You don't want him to know that you are clever enough to look.  (Of course, if he's reading this......)

It's hard to say whether he's married, a pretender, what.  Sometimes people disappear without much or any explanation.

As you are not a newbie, you probably know to expect a certain level of this.  Of chourse, you might not have expected it to happen 'this' time.  (We never do.)

I'm assuming you hadn't necessarily stopped your other pursuits, if any.  Don't.  If you aren't already, prepare to resume your search.

Hope this helps.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to Musefay)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 3:58:17 AM   
MasterStoney442


Posts: 39
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline 		I so love how people give advice with out knowing two(2) sides to the story .

< Message edited by MasterStoney442 -- 10/1/2006 3:59:37 AM >

_____________________________

when you look at life it looks back at you

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 4:28:13 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterStoney442

I so love how people give advice with out knowing two(2) sides to the story .

Just exactly how often do you think you're gonna get both sides of a relationship problem presented on public boards? 
 
So rather than just ignore those seeking advice, I, and probably most others who respond, tend to take such queries at face value until if and when more information is forthcoming.  It's a discussion board, NOT a court of law!
 
Focus.

(in reply to MasterStoney442)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 4:36:37 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musefay

So,I write w/ a man for a good ten days and it goes along quite nice.Just good conversations of getting to know one another & the like. We talked breifly by phone yesterday. Nothing implied here other then our common ideals mind you I am no newbie or player.
Today he says he'll call & doesn't.Oh,I know things do come up.
Funny thing I come on here and his ad now says he wants an "online romance"
This after I say  in my last email to
him of meeting in person. In public just for coffee.
I think he either is married or all his talk was that talk
What do you think?
Ask him of the change to his profile?

My instincts reckon your jump to real time (phone call) suddenly became very intimidating to him; it changed the dynamic of your relationship and got the little gears in his mind churning.  In other words, I also think he's got a r/l relationship happening - maybe not D/s but real nonetheless....
 
You can ask and, actually, you may as well because I suspect coffee isn't gonna happen - not with you or anyone he finds on the Net.
 
Focus.

(in reply to Musefay)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 4:36:57 AM   
gypsylee


Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterStoney442

I so love how people give advice with out knowing two(2) sides to the story .


maybe MasterStoney is the guy she's talking about?!

gypsylee on-the-case

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.


(in reply to MasterStoney442)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 4:42:08 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterStoney442

I so love how people give advice with out knowing two(2) sides to the story .


maybe MasterStoney is the guy she's talking about?!

gypsylee on-the-case

Lmao, good one!  Nuthin' like a bit of cloak and dagger....
 
Focus.

(in reply to gypsylee)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 4:42:35 AM   
alwayshis1


Posts: 27
Joined: 7/1/2006
Status: offline 		both male ands female, dom or submissive, come and go with no comment to anyone. same for changing profiles. i never believe most of anything till i meet that person in real life, and even then i dont always. i have had men that i have talked to for a long time just go poof overnight, including ones i have met. im sure they have their reasons, just the same as the submissives that men tell me about that do the exact same thing. missing or changing profiles is not uncommon, by either sex. personally if someone i am talking to decides to not talk to me, i just move on, why question them on their motives. we all know that most here will never meet regardless of what their profile says, partially why i discuss meeting quickly, it tends to chase away alot of those that will never meet

(in reply to Musefay)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 5:04:01 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alwayshis1
we all know that most here will never meet regardless of what their profile says, partially why i discuss meeting quickly, it tends to chase away alot of those that will never meet


Another good reason for being a part of the local community. Easier to find flesh-and-blood people there with reputations....

(in reply to alwayshis1)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 7:20:16 AM   
MasterStoney442


Posts: 39
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline 		Nope do not know her . Is why I put what I did .

_____________________________

when you look at life it looks back at you

(in reply to gypsylee)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 7:58:29 AM   
innatedesire


Posts: 111
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline 		Better to have discovered this now rather than later. This type of behaviour is common in r/l, o/l , D/s and vanilla it is just a part of life. I would concur that this person has other issues going on so do not take it personally, just move on and and keep searching, time and patience is key and eventually you will find what you are seeking. Remember if this person can not be honest in what they are seeking to begin with they are not going to be honest in any type of relationship and you certainly do not need that.

(in reply to Musefay)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 8:41:48 AM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		Musefay:  Obviously he doesn't know what he wants.  This doesn't preclude him being a player, a liar, or anything else, but most important to you should be that he doesn't meet your criteria.  Move on.

And, miss, lets look at something about you:  You post an intelligent and very complete profile.  You appear to have some sense of yourself and what you are seeking, yes?  So then why are you vesting time in what would appear to be...what...the first, or third, email contact you made on here?  You joined Sept 17.  You corresponded with this man for 10 days before you got this mixed, or negative message.  I can do the math.  If this was vanilla dating, would you be ready to move after a whole 10 days acquaintance?  Indeed, if this were hiring a gardener, would you be this vested this fast?  Of course not.  So why are you doing this for an online romance?  You put more time into your profile, I'm willing to hazard, than you did in your communications with "Mr. Wrong."  You are of course not alone...lack of intelligence in meeting "Doms" is probably the pandemic around here.  Stop and think, miss.

E

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to Musefay)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 8:53:36 AM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Things in life happen and with it our relationships.  New relationships are the first to go when stress happens.  He may very well just have decided that meeting someone was just too much for Him right now.  I applaud His decision to state He only wants an online relationship, although believe that it would have been better had he done so sooner than He did.  I myself have changed my profile over time just because i have grown or changed or however one might want to put it.  Some might even say fickle but what ever His reason was He did it now it is time to move on!  Fortunately He is not the only Dom available.  Good luck and don't quit trying to fine the One!

diamond

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 1:13:34 PM   
Musefay


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/17/2006
Status: offline 		Focus50,
Your answer is kinda the impression I  got as well........it's what my instincts seem to be feeling as well w/ this.
Thanks,
Musefay

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 1:18:53 PM   
wild1cfl


Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musefay

So,I write w/ a man for a good ten days and it goes along quite nice.Just good conversations of getting to know one another & the like. We talked breifly by phone yesterday. Nothing implied here other then our common ideals mind you I am no newbie or player.
Today he says he'll call & doesn't.Oh,I know things do come up.
Funny thing I come on here and his ad now says he wants an "online romance"
This after I say  in my last email to
him of meeting in person. In public just for coffee.
I think he either is married or all his talk was that talk
What do you think?
Ask him of the change to his profile?
Thanks,
Musefay


Move on, he is married and did not want you to know.

_____________________________

Wild

My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

(in reply to Musefay)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 1:23:46 PM   
Musefay


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/17/2006
Status: offline 		alwayshis1,
I  too say of meeting sometimes quickly.
Whether it's been 10 days or 5 that I have conversed  w/ him. I like the idea of meeting face to face.
Real interaction gaging someone's body language,emotions,and looking them in the eyes.
I'm quite personably and like that human interaction.
I realize this is o/l and things are not always what people say they are in a profile {not that doesn't happen in r/l}
Thats why I say ,hey let's meet in public and discuss all we have been saying in person.
Thanks,
Musefay

(in reply to alwayshis1)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 1:30:21 PM   
Musefay


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/17/2006
Status: offline 		Emperor1956,
Thanks for the info.
Actually I have been "on here" for quite sometime just changed my name and local as I have relocated.
I've been to munches,parties,clubs,etc in "the lifestyle"
I "invested" time just like most people do .You meet someone online,chat,exchange ideas & views then move to the next level of making it in person. You either find out by "talking" online or in person for various reasons if your compadible or not w/ a person.
Be in 10 days or 5 I like to meet in realtime myself
Thanks,
Musefay

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 1:30:51 PM   
MASTERRocker


Posts: 277
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Kitchener-Waterloo, ON
Status: offline 		Personally' I would wait to see 'if' you two meet in public. At that point - both of you will know where you stand. If there is something there - he will either change his profile - or then you can call him on it. Talking on the net, phone - does not bring true conscience of peace and commitment until you can look into his eyes.... just my opinion.

(in reply to Musefay)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 1:38:46 PM   
Musefay


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/17/2006
Status: offline 		Emperor1956,
I didn't get the Idiots guide on
"How to meet Dom's" lol and frankly not even the munches in my area were a gurantee that someone was as they said they were o/l.
10 days....hmmm that seems sufficent time to at least talk and exchange views then plan on a in public ,casual cup of coffee & chat. And as you mentioned yes, I am an intelligent and articulate woman who made a decision to converse in person w/ someone. Don't see how the decision to do that wasn't in keeping w/ how to meet a 'dom"
What does your Dom handbook say I should have done? :)
This wasn't the you will meet me and do as I say kinda crap like in chatrooms stuff.
But thanks for your 2 cents
Musefay

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Question for the Men {Doms,Masters,etc.) - 10/1/2006 1:43:26 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Stoney,

Since you don't know the other side, how do you know any of us are wrong?  That stupid sword cuts both ways.

Besides, most of the questions and or drama posted here fits a pretty tight consistent pattern so there isn't much required to call it.

(in reply to MASTERRocker)
Profile   Post #: 20
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