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LifeIsTooShort -> Be careful a Dominant is for real (10/1/2006 6:01:13 AM)
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Life is too short to let someone bring you down. I am happy today because I had the strength to break away from a relationship that was not good for me. It saddens me to think that there are so many submissives out there who are very unhappy, and yet they stay with the wrong dominant simply because they feel like they have no choices, no options. For those of you who are interested, I have a little advise.
Simply because someone calls himself a dominant does not make him one. Dominants need to earn your respect before they can expect you to give it to them. You will run into many "so called dominants" on line, plenty on this site, who will try to fool you into thinking they have knowledge about the BDSM lifestyle. So many of them do not understand or care about the responsibility they are taking on when a submissive gives herself to him.
A true Dominant, a Master, has spent years studying and does not take on a submissive until they have a true understanding of what a BDSM relationship is about. A true Master has the best interest of the submissive in mind in all that he does. It may not always be clear to the submissive what he is trying to teach you, but with the trust and respect he has earned, a submissive is more than willing to take that chance.
The secret to finding this type of individual is simple. You have to educate yourself before you throw yourself into the arms of someone simply on a power trip. The place to get that education is not on sites like this one where you will have many wanna be dominants leading you in the wrong direction. The more knowledge you are empowered with, the stronger you will be. Submission is truly about strength. A strong Dominant is confident enough in himself to build on a submissives strengths rather than bringing her down. If you are lucky enough to find the right connection with an individual who cares deeply about you and wants to empower you with the strength of submission, you have found a jewel and should hold on to him. If on the other hand, you run across one who talks a good talk in the beginning, but when it gets serious they only seem to be concerned about getting their rocks off, or simply want you to do everything to make them happy, it is time to move on. Don't allow anyone to break you down to a level that you are no longer in touch with your needs. A Master/slave relationship should not be about making only the strongest person happy.
I was fortunate enough to be trained by a real Master many years ago. He cared deeply about me and changed my life forever. In his hands, I learned to see the beauty in myself through my submission, I gained strength in all aspects of my life. Unfortunately, he passed away, but even in his absence I remain strong and remember the lessons He taught me.
I recently had a relationship with someone who now presents himself on this web site. I gave him the same kind of trust and respect I had learned to give rather than waiting to see if he deserved that kind of respect. Sometimes it takes a very long time, even years before you know for sure. In the beginning he said and did all of the right things. Over time he started to break me down and it was hard for me to see it. The only way he knew how to empower himself was to take my power away, to suck all the strength out of me. This went on for some time until I had an eye opening experience. The day came when I was not willing to back down about something I believed in, and he became physically abusive. Suddenly all of my strength came back to me. I was not willing to stay with him at that point because that would be giving him permission to do it again. Just because a submissive enjoys a little pain to enhance pleasure does not mean she is willing to endure physical and mental abuse.
Keep in mind that person is on this site telling the same stories he told me. I went into that relationship knowing what a BDSM relationship should be. Yet, he managed to snow me in the beginning, and break me down over time. Fortunately I found my strength again and I am building myself back up again. It is amazing how you can see so much more looking back.
I now have someone in my life who appreciates my submission, someone who loves the fact that I am strong and yet submit to him. I have no interest in meeting other dominants. I set this profile up simply to help other submissives. If something here helps one person, it was worth it.
The purpose of a relationship of any kind is for two people to find happiness. I don't believe any submissive can really be happy just simply because they are always doing something to please someone else. I believe a real Maser or Dominant should be so connected with his submissive that he knows what she wants and needs long before she does. That is when it is a mind, body and soul connection that we all search for.
Don't be afraid of being alone. It is much better to hold out for the One who will meet all of your needs than to settle for less. Certainly don't settle for an on line relationship. There is no such thing as having feelings for a person who you have only talked to on line. Words on a screen don't tell the whole story. Too many people think they are forming the foundation for a relationship simply based on words on a screen. Remember, you can be anyone on line. The on line world is a good tool for some to meet people they would not know otherwise. But, my experience has been that when the relationship is formed on line, it falls apart in the real world. The deepest connections for me have been those where the first meeting was in person, our eyes locked, and both of us knew from that moment where life would take us. I found that with my first Master and was fortunate enough to have found it again now. Your soul knows when it has come across a soul mate. There is a force that brings you together when you have shared love in many lifetimes before. Listen to your heart instead of the words on the screen...
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