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Age Restrictions - 10/1/2006 11:25:12 AM

darktaintedangel

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline

Okay here it is.
Ever since I realized how I love BDSM (under 6 months ago hehe) I have been lookin for a Master. I get a lot, a lot, a lot and evern more emails and offers from 35 - over 60 year olds. I always reject them because on my profiles I put I want an "offline Dom/Master" and "ages 19-30". I would consider up to 33 but that is my extreme limit.

I did this because I want a Master I can introduce to my family as the guy I am seeing. Someone I care about and may progress in a relationship (to however far it will go).
But I have had quite a few Doms asking me why won't I change? Even just ot have a bit of fun and to have an experienced Master means I should consider all ages.
I think my age restrictions are good...but I am seeing others opinions.
What do you think?

Post #: 1

RE: Age Restrictions - 10/1/2006 11:29:15 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

No matter what you decide, someone's not going to like it.

Plus, lots of older doms love the idea of being with fresh young new meat.

Keep whatever standards you believe are best for you- you're out here to find a relationship for YOU, not for THEM.

However- you should ask yourself why you're allowing your FAMILY to have sway here? You are making some false assumptions about older people and that might be what irks them.

If you simply do not find older people attractive and don't want to get involved with them, then please stick to it. But don't close out people based on false assumptions.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to darktaintedangel)

Post #: 2

RE: Age Restrictions - 10/1/2006 11:59:06 AM

darktaintedangel

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

However- you should ask yourself why you're allowing your FAMILY to have sway here? You are making some false assumptions about older people and that might be what irks them.

If you simply do not find older people attractive and don't want to get involved with them, then please stick to it. But don't close out people based on false assumptions.

Actually it's not my family swaying me. It's just how I feel, I cannot imagine myself being with a 40 something year old man just for a BDSM relationship. I noticed the majority, almost all of the older men who contact me want to start a Master/slave relationship right away. However when I talk to the younger ones, they may not have as much experience but they also want a relationship. Though most want to get married with thier sub/slave they find, I would really like a relationship. That's why I put age restrictions, because it makes me feel uncomfotable to be with someone so much older then myself and I want a long term relationship, not somethin to pass the months by.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 3

RE: Age Restrictions - 10/1/2006 2:27:46 PM

StacyCat

Posts: 112
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

You can set up mail controls so that you dont have to see anyone's e-mail over a certain age :-)

Im 25, and i'll date from 19ish to 37ish. I have dated guys that are now 40, and while the sex was hot, there was a generation gap that I couldnt get around. There are also guys that I am attracted to in real life that are outside of my age ranges, but if we had met online, it would not have gotten this far.

Its a typical male fantasy to have a young and inexperienced girl. And, there are a lot of girls that want an older, more experienced guy. There are men out there that I could consider having top me, with nothing sexual about it. But, I dont want someone my dads age fucking me, thats just icky. :-)

(in reply to darktaintedangel)

Post #: 4

RE: Age Restrictions - 10/3/2006 8:41:39 AM

teamnoir

Posts: 226
Joined: 4/5/2005
From: San Francisco Bay Area California
Status: offline

I think there's a logic to both perspectives. Older guys like younger women. They also typically, (though not always), have more experience to offer, which can be extremely useful, especially to folks who are new in the scene. And you can always introduce him as a friend rather than a boyfriend if you're concerned about the age gap image.

OTOH, there's something to be said for two newbie players exploring and learning together. The exploration happens slower, in general, but it's easier for you both to give each other the time you both need to process. And you also have the benefits you've mentioned as well.

I think the choice is up to you. I find it frustrating to see a lot of ads which exclude me, but I think that's more an issue of the limitations of the search engine than of you. There should be an opportunity for you to tell the database your preferred age range and it should be possible for me to search only for the people who are interested in people my age. It's really no different from gender preference. I don't really want to be pulling up hundreds of ads from dykes looking for dykes either. That's really just a waste of my time.

(in reply to darktaintedangel)

Post #: 5

RE: Age Restrictions - 10/3/2006 8:51:03 AM

ToGiveDivine

Posts: 650
Status: offline

dark,

It's called personal preference - just because you want to be a sub doesn't mean your preferences don't matter. Anyone (not just a Dom) should respect that and if they don't then it's their problem, not yours.

If you decide you want a 25 year and 3 months old indian man with blonde hair and a hairy butt and that's all you want, then everyone that doesn't fit in the category will just have to deal.

Go with your heart

(in reply to darktaintedangel)

Post #: 6

RE: Age Restrictions - 10/3/2006 11:03:30 AM

hypnoticblue

Posts: 130
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline

I agree with Stacy... anything that hits my dad's age, that's just wrong (too bad my dad is so young). I usually go for less than 40 (I'm 26) with the occassional exception...

My whole outlook on age changed when I hit 25. Before then, you couldn't have caught me dead with anyone over about 27 or so. I wanted the young, partying, drinking music loving rebel crowd. Then something happened at 25 and grey hair (a little) started to look dang sexy... I started thinking that people like George Clooney and Bruce Willis are hot, instead of Justin Timberlake... (wow those were horrible examples). Now, the things that attract me most? Men that love their children, women who've had children, people that own houses and cars and have careers... older people. But again, I can't even start to think about guys my dad's age.

(in reply to ToGiveDivine)

Post #: 7

RE: Age Restrictions - 10/3/2006 11:51:29 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

If you know what you want, stick with it. There is nothing wrong with having a preference and nothing wrong with you telling those who do not fit with that you are not interested. You should not have to explain why, either. These are your ideals. Make sure they are what you want. Change them if and when you want to. Do not settle. Good luck.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to darktaintedangel)

Post #: 8

RE: Age Restrictions - 10/7/2006 8:21:00 AM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

To the Op: i peeked at your profile, and it says you are 19 years old. When i was 20, i married a 30 year old man who turned out to be my wost nightmare. One reason he gave for controlling me was that he was "older and knew better". From what i am told, he still believes this, although we are now 50 and 60, respectively.

While i do not mean to suggest that every older Man who approaches you is a predator, there is something worth considering when a Man does not want a relationship with a woman of His own age. Such women have the personal power that comes from life experience, accomplishments, etc. and it may be worth a moment to pause and consider why a Man wants a woman whose personal power is not yet equal to His.

i also have an age restriction on my profile. i am in my 50's and want a life-long relationship with my One. The youngest Man i would consider would be no less than 45 years old and would have to be unusually mature. Even still, W/we would not have the shared memories of childhood and young adulthood that same age partners have, and i find this a source of comfort, so i'd be loathe to do without it. By the same token, i am leery of Men over 59 years old, as i do not want to be Someone's nurse.

i also understand your wish to feel at ease when your Man is introduced to your family. i have an unmentionable, age 28 years old, and if i showed up with a Man in His 30's as my new boyfriend, i think E/everyone would be completely ill-at-ease.

i diagree that assumptions about people as T/they age are always false. There are various psychological schools of thought on the maturtion process that continues until death, and i feel they have validity. Of couse, some P/pl get "stuck" in a stage of life and cease growing, at least for a time. It is not linear. However, it is also generally true that P/pl who are my age are not going to relate to you in the same way as T/they would a person T/their own age.

pinkee

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 9

RE: Age Restrictions - 10/7/2006 4:12:11 PM

shadowrose13

Posts: 29
Joined: 9/29/2006
Status: offline

at the risk of repeating what many have said before me, go with what you think is right, and don't let anyone sway you otherwise. my Master is 5 years older than i am, and i love Him more than i could ever express, however, i have had people tell me there is no way the two of us can truly love each other because W/we are to different in age, and i am too young. others are intitled to their opinions, but do what you feel is right.

~rose

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 10

RE: Age Restrictions - 10/11/2006 4:08:55 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

I'm over 50 and when I was looking, I specified someone close to my age. It's important to me that we be at the same life stages. A 35 year old might want babies, I'm within 5 years of an empty nest. It's important to me that certain things we have in common, having parents who came through the Great Depression and how that affected our childhoods. I didn't want anyone who wouldn't understand the music of my youth or object to me listening to the oldies station.

You're young so of course all sorts of predators are coming on to you. Stick to your guns.

(in reply to shadowrose13)

Post #: 11

RE: Age Restrictions - 10/11/2006 4:41:12 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

Everyone has a right to their own tastes, whatever reason you have for looking within a certain age group you are more than entitled too.
Personally my taste in male age was always quite wide, from about 25 to 40 - I'm 24, though my Dom at the moment is younger than me which is for me a new experience and one I never thought I would have had.

You have every right to make a decision about the people you get involved with, being a sub doesnt mean you have to accept everyone and anything :)

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 12

RE: Age Restrictions - 12/15/2006 11:23:52 AM

GirlyDevil

Posts: 104
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darktaintedangel

Okay here it is.
Ever since I realized how I love BDSM (under 6 months ago hehe) I have been lookin for a Master. I get a lot, a lot, a lot and evern more emails and offers from 35 - over 60 year olds. I always reject them because on my profiles I put I want an "offline Dom/Master" and "ages 19-30". I would consider up to 33 but that is my extreme limit.

I did this because I want a Master I can introduce to my family as the guy I am seeing. Someone I care about and may progress in a relationship (to however far it will go).
But I have had quite a few Doms asking me why won't I change? Even just ot have a bit of fun and to have an experienced Master means I should consider all ages.
I think my age restrictions are good...but I am seeing others opinions.
What do you think?

I say stick with your age limits and whatnot. For me I do have a age limit of 22-33 only, and I also put that I am to not change for anyone and am happy with myself. Best luck

(in reply to darktaintedangel)

Post #: 13

RE: Age Restrictions - 2/17/2007 12:35:00 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darktaintedangel

Okay here it is.
Ever since I realized how I love BDSM (under 6 months ago hehe) I have been lookin for a Master. I get a lot, a lot, a lot and evern more emails and offers from 35 - over 60 year olds. I always reject them because on my profiles I put I want an "offline Dom/Master" and "ages 19-30". I would consider up to 33 but that is my extreme limit.

I did this because I want a Master I can introduce to my family as the guy I am seeing. Someone I care about and may progress in a relationship (to however far it will go).
But I have had quite a few Doms asking me why won't I change? Even just ot have a bit of fun and to have an experienced Master means I should consider all ages.
I think my age restrictions are good...but I am seeing others opinions.
What do you think?

i also have an age limit and most doms that i've been talking with do respect that, but there are also doms who i won't even bother emailing back on CM. i will take up to the age of 38-40 but i don't want a dom who looks and could be my dad. This is a hard limit for me, which is why i'm happy that i found my dom. i also agree with your age restrictions, and i know some doms that have age restrictions as well. For me that's what the bulk mail folder is for

(in reply to darktaintedangel)

Post #: 14

RE: Age Restrictions - 2/17/2007 12:54:55 PM

IWantToPunish

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/6/2006
Status: offline

I have noticed that alot of people on here ( both Doms and subs) change alot to appear to be what you are looking for or want you to change what you are/want to fit what they are looking for. I have only been on this site for a few months, but my advice is to figure out what you are looking for and stick with it. If you want someone in a certain age range then only look for someone in that age range. Do not be fooled by all of those who tell you about how much you are missing out on because they are a really good Dom or a wonderful sub. If they really were what they claimed to be they would respect what you are looking for. I realize that many subs/slaves do not have many choices ( if any ), but they are the ones who ultimately decide who they will let dominate them.
GOOD LUCK!

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 15

RE: Age Restrictions - 2/19/2007 8:15:25 PM

collaredlilone

Posts: 34
Joined: 12/6/2005
Status: offline

girl if she may would like to share her opinion. mind you this is only a opinion. girl agrees with another post that the relationship is meant for you and you should look for what you see is right for you.
girl is 20 and is slave. girl understands how you feel as far as age. although at 18-19 sadly you are not going to have a easy search of a true Master to guide you. there needs to be knowledge and experience. safety and care. there is alot to Owning a slave. girl is slave but she knows this by her Owners.
girl just wishes the best and wants you to be careful. but its finally up to you.
smiles

(in reply to darktaintedangel)

Post #: 16

RE: Age Restrictions - 2/19/2007 9:20:01 PM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

I've jokingly said that I won't ever be seriously involved with someone over 21- of course, the fact I had two semi-long term relationships end a week before they turned 21 didn't help my cause.

Or the fact that over my last three girlfriends, each has been younger than the last. Which sets a dangerous precedent, since my most recent ex turned 18 the day I met her.

Seriously, though, I consider my age range from 18 to 30-something... I'm not sure how high into the thirties, but I've gone out (casually) with a 33 year old, and that wasn't weird. I think it depends on the person. I don't want to rule anyone out over something as uninteresting as circumstances of birth.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 17

RE: Age Restrictions - 2/25/2007 5:43:13 PM

Shira

Posts: 11
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

Predators come in all ages and just because a Dom is older doesn't mean he is more likely to be a predator. But I agree with the others to go with your preferance, but also be aware of the limitations of younger Doms - inexperience in the safe practice of bdsm, a lower level of maturity, and less life experience.

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 18

RE: Age Restrictions - 2/25/2007 11:30:25 PM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

Quick suggestion, pardon me if it's already been suggested...

Set your Bulk Mail Filter. Accept only emails that fall into whatever your parameters happen to be. If you later discover that your needs, wants and/or specifications have changed re-set the filter.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to Shira)

Post #: 19

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