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A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 5:29:11 PM

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Why do we never see this rant:

"I'm a non professional femdom and I am sick of the pros stealing all the subs. There are a lot of submissive men out there, but the ones that are not all talk are obviously going to see professionals more because they are often more attractive, have great equipment and great outfits. They make us non pro femdoms seem plain and boring. How can we compete with these women who have so many skills and such amazing equipment? I've heard over and over again that professional dominas get to dominate men who are classy, educated, articulate, in high paying jobs and have nice bodies. It seems obvious that the subs who have really high taste will just go see a pro femdom rather than lower his standards to see a plain femdom. Pro femdoms suck!"

Now, I wrote that in jest of course. But what are the reasons that this is not something you hear from non pro femdoms? Essentially, we are "competing" for the attention of discriminating subs, and many submissives will see professionals rather than seek our "free" services.

And, for those pros who post here, is it true that professionals see a lot of very high class, articulate, educated and fit men?

Akasha

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 5:34:24 PM

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i think that the reason no non-Pro Dominas post this is because they probably do not wish to upset neither the Pros nor the Mods...it does pose some interesting questions though.

Question: "are Pros better than non Pros?

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 5:35:53 PM

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No they are not all classy and rich....Don't really know why they prefer pros.. Maybe its just safer for the married ones to do pros and they can get whatever they want. Their fantasy is what we do. Wil be interesting to see what the other reples you get are. And for the record I am no raving beauty either.

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 5:37:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

i think that the reason no non-Pro Dominas post this is because they probably do not wish to upset neither the Pros nor the Mods...it does pose some interesting questions though.

Question: "are Pros better than non Pros?

This is like saying "is the chef who works at the french restaurant on the corner a better cook than your neighbor who is a passionate chef as a hobby for ten years."

What is better?
Who could know who had more skills?
The fact that one is PAID really says nothing about their abilities, sincerity, and natural skill.

Akasha

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 5:40:35 PM

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Personally, I believe the allure of the pro dommes is that they are easier to access, and there's little to no reason to expect rejection. I believe that non-pro dommes and pro dommes are seeking something a little different from each other. Granted, there's room for overlap, but I really don't think it's all that apparent in most cases. I, personally, have seen a few pro dommes in the last few months, mainly because I can't seem to find a non pro-domme. But each circumstance in which I have sought out a pro domme has been somewhat depressing in that the experience has been really a waste of both time and money. Yet, I have nothing bad to say about pro dommes; I just have bad things to say about the most recent ones I have seen, so that I probably won't be seeing another one for a long time to come.

When it comes to finding a non pro domme, it's a lot harder, especially if you are limited by location. I have contacted a few women who are in my general regional area, and while one is still a possibility, most are seeking someone who is not me. One was advertising yesterday on Craigslist in my close proximity, but she's 25 years old, seeking someone for sexual slavery, and by all terms of logic, probably not going to be interested in a 40 year old submissive as her request didn't really seem to resonate in seeking any of the submissive attributes I have to offer. So, for a guy like me, who is serious about this whole thing, I'm somewhat limited in my options. I can try the old method of dating a vanilla woman and hope to interest her in a kinky lifestyle, but I've gone that route so many times before that I just don't feel comfortable with it anymore.

So, again, this leaves me with the choice of seeking someone way out of my geographical proximity or to seek out a pro domme, if I'm seeking to satisfy my submissive needs. Neither choice is really all that satisfying.

But as much as this may sound like a complaint or a whine, it's really not. I understand the circumstances that have brought me to where I am, and I accept that. Eventually, I'll either figure out how to make my surroundings work for me, or me work for my surroundings. Or I'll start playing World of Warcraft and create a character that goes all the way up to the highest level. Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 5:40:51 PM

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being a low-income submissive, i can't afford to go to a Pro (not that i would if i were rich either). i prefer a Domina that doesn't weigh things by the all mighty dollar.

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 5:45:26 PM

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you do have a point...it seems easier to go to a Pro Domina than to work hard on showing one's worth to a non Pro...but, who wants to take the easy way out?

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 5:45:48 PM

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I am not competing for my subs with anyone, pro or not. I dont care if my sub is classy, rich, so on so forth. I am looking for someone I have chemistry with, which I have happily found. I have known pros who loved their clientele ebcasue they were more fun to play with since they were all no strings. She had said that she would likely never find one in there that was what she wanted if she was to keep them, but she had fun with them when she had them around.
I dont have fancy equipment, but I dont want it either. I consider myself as attractive as most of the pro's on here. I just dont look for a temporary fix, and a lot of the subs that go to pros are looking for that. Temporary. Whe I start with sub, its looking specificaly for long term commitment.

My 2 cents from a non-pro point of view
DV

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 5:48:16 PM

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.

< Message edited by HerBoudoir -- 10/1/2006 5:49:37 PM >

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 5:55:56 PM

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I don't think pros and otherwise compete for subs, for the most part.

Some people want one time casual play. If they have the choice between a pro and a non pro willing to give them that, all other things being equal, they will go to the one who does not charge.

Some people want ongoing casual play with no strings attached. Again, all other things being equal, why pay?

The above two could very easily be the same Dommes, but it is somewhat hard to find Dommes who do casual play for free (I have a few, but that's cuz I'm just that good)

The last option is the long term, commited relationship. Pros do not compete with non pros there, because it takes a special kind of delusion to assume the girl you're paying to whip you has any real, non professional interest in you if you still have to pay.

So really, pros only steal subs away from Dommes looking for casual, no strings attached, kinky play. And Dommes like that probably have enough ongoing offers anyway.

Yours,

benji

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 5:59:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
"I'm a non professional femdom and I am sick of the pros stealing all the subs. There are a lot of submissive men out there, but the ones that are not all talk are obviously going to see professionals more because they are often more attractive, have great equipment and great outfits. They make us non pro femdoms seem plain and boring. How can we compete with these women who have so many skills and such amazing equipment?

Nope. It's more like, "Thank goodness for pros....they keep all the shallow, annoying, demanding fetishists who care more about leather boots than the person wearing them out of my hair." If you want a pro and you expect the things a pro provides (eg, immediate playtime gratification of your individual fetish desires), please go to one. I don't want to do all those things for you right this minute, and all it's going to do is annoy the crap out of me if you demand them. If that's what you want, you're in the wrong mailbox if you're talking to me. Fortunately there are all these nice ladies over there who are a good match for what you are seeking. **helpfully points to the pro domme services over there**

If you're interested in submitting to a real person whom you genuinely like, respect and want to please, then let's do coffee and socializing to start with and see if we hit it off as friends first. There's a pretty clear difference in the agenda here, and it's a very good thing that men can self-select which agenda they're most interested in.

quote:

And, for those pros who post here, is it true that professionals see a lot of very high class, articulate, educated and fit men?

Back when I owned a dungeon in a large metropolitan area, I'd have to say that it was definitely a mixed bag. The executive and high income types were pretty well represented, though their fitness level varied quite a bit. Also they tended to be married and deeply in denial about their kink. Thus, really bad partner material for non pros anyhow.

< Message edited by Najakcharmer -- 10/1/2006 6:04:56 PM >

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 6:41:15 PM

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eh.. edited by me..

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 10/1/2006 7:25:29 PM >

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 6:50:05 PM

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Very interesting question AAkasha!

Even if I were seeking I would never dream of being jealous of a professional dominant. Not because I think them unworthy but because like Najak I believe they do something a non pro does not WANT to do. For example, I am sure there are many men that for whatever reason are not able to do 24/7 and must be secretive in their needs. I would have no interest in that.

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 6:56:37 PM

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I don't rant because I"m grateful to them for picking up the slack, taking on the players, the wankers, the married and otherwise attached, the part-timers, etc. Also they can give a newcomer to this lifestyle a good taste of what is available so that he can gain some sort of insight into what he does and does not like... especially if there is no local scene available or the gentleman in question has to remain in the closet for whatever reason.

And... if the do-me's are off having a session with a pro, they're not taking up MY time, which is eqally valuable.

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 7:02:58 PM

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The only thing that squicks me about the whole thing.. is that when a submissive finds I'm a Domme.. they eventually ask.. "so how much do you charge?"

It would be like a husband introducing his wife to another male and he says "Ah.. so this is your bitch, eh?" There's a leeeeeetle bit of difference there I think.

That's my one and only complaint. It embarrasses me is all.

P.S. I'm done with Pro threads. So, when you speak of me... and you will... be kind.

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 7:55:37 PM

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I agree with most of the posts here I would never go to a Pro Domme because what I'm (was) looking for is a long term relationship. I very easily make bonds with someone and my Lady and I have a connection and understand that i could never give a Pro Domme. Obviously my relationship differs somehwat as my Lady and I are girlfriend as well so the dynamics are different that some would expect.

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 8:05:06 PM

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Damn right I'm envious! Of professional Dommes' wardrobes, equipment, dungeons...

Of their clientele? Nah.

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 8:06:28 PM

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my guess is most guys who see pros are either married, or not really submissive/servant oriented, but rather bottoms looking for the fantasy fulfillment they need to balance their lives.

i did see some pros very early on in my Ds explorations, but never found it satisfying. the reason being i knew that they were doing what i wanted them to do...they were doing it for my pleasure and my fantasy, not because they were enjoying taking me and using me for their pleasure. that is the twist that was missing. i am slave wired and my submission comes from a desire to please. Doing the exact same act with my Mistress vs. having done it with a pro are completely different experiences. An example is the simple act of foot worship. Worshipping at the feet of a pro domme was never even close to what it is like with my Mistress. the difference is with a pro domme, she was letting me do it...with Mistress, she WANTS me to do it.

i don't think the non-pros are in any way shape or form competing with the pros. they each are seeking a totally different animal.

just one slave's opinion.

M's m

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RE: A complete different Pro Femdom rant - 10/1/2006 8:21:01 PM

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LOL ok I must admit I never really thought of this side of the coiin good thinking :D

Magik's slave

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