Slave Getting Started (Full Version)

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CagemyHeart -> Slave Getting Started (10/1/2006 6:14:01 PM)

Hi,

I am very new to the scene having only recently discovered my extreme needs and desires. I know that I have a submissive heart, soul and mind, and that I never will find personal lasting peace except in the service of a strong Mistress or Domme/Dom couple. A friend recently guided me to this site as a means to potentially find a Master or Owner. I am firmly committed and dedicated to this journey.

My question is one of protocol.  I have posted my profile and picture which I think is honest and descriptive. I have yet to have any messages.  Is it proper for a sub/slave to approach a potential Domme/Dom and seek consideration? It seems very forward for a slave to approach a superior. But I am also very anxious to find Her.  Any guidance would be appreciated greatly.  Jessica



andal -> RE: Slave Getting Started (10/1/2006 6:18:23 PM)

I get a "profile not found" error when I try to pull yours up from the forum side.  Also, I don't find your profile when I scan "female slaves 20-26 in Georgia" so it may be a purely technical issue.  Check w/ the collarme staff is my recommendation.  (There are some bugged profiles around here, you may just have been the most recent victim.)  Good luck in your search!



thetammyjo -> RE: Slave Getting Started (10/1/2006 6:47:42 PM)

Jessica:

First, of course it is "appropriate" to approach people who interest you. Until you are in a DS relationship with someone you are both simply people afterall.

Second, stop being so "anxious". It isn't attractive frankly and it isn't very wise in terms of either safety or building up a good healthy relationships. Get experience, join a munch, find a club or organization, if you can afford it or it is nearby, go to some conventions. In short get to know more about BDSM and yourself before you jump into anything with anyone.

Sad truth is that there are those out there who will try and take advantage of "new meat" -- as in any culture or subculture. This means that the more you can do to learn on your own and to get involved on your own. You'll be more interesting to more people when you are more experienced yourself.

As you said in your post, this is a journey. One step at a time, make them with full awareness and with caution but do put yourself out there to gain some experience and knowledge.



LadyMorgynn -> RE: Slave Getting Started (10/1/2006 7:03:30 PM)

I pulled up her profile from the main Collarme website.  Jessica, if you are new, get some experience before going looking for a 24/7 TPE control.  There are horror stories out there, and abusers looking for victims under the convenient cover of being "consensual."  BE CAREFUL, and get experience.

I also second everything tammyjo says. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Jessica:

First, of course it is "appropriate" to approach people who interest you. Until you are in a DS relationship with someone you are both simply people afterall.

Second, stop being so "anxious". It isn't attractive frankly and it isn't very wise in terms of either safety or building up a good healthy relationships. Get experience, join a munch, find a club or organization, if you can afford it or it is nearby, go to some conventions. In short get to know more about BDSM and yourself before you jump into anything with anyone.

Sad truth is that there are those out there who will try and take advantage of "new meat" -- as in any culture or subculture. This means that the more you can do to learn on your own and to get involved on your own. You'll be more interesting to more people when you are more experienced yourself.

As you said in your post, this is a journey. One step at a time, make them with full awareness and with caution but do put yourself out there to gain some experience and knowledge.



MistressDolly -> RE: Slave Getting Started (10/1/2006 7:06:45 PM)

Hi andal, what do you mean by bugged profiles?



LadyHugs -> RE: Slave Getting Started (10/1/2006 8:27:55 PM)

Dear CagemyHeart/Jessica, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Thetammyjo and LadyMorgynn has given you extremely wise words.
 
I would seek out a BDSM support and education group in your area, involve yourself with getting to know people before committing to a relationship.
 
I will also mention, people behave in public better then they do in private.  So, be safe about what you're doing.  Ask a lot of questions and don't ignore your gut instincts. Respect yourself first.  Don't let anybody bully you into submission like; you're not a good slave if you don't do this or that--RUN if you hear that pile of stacked horse chips from somebody.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration with a bit of equestrian wit,
Lady Hugs
 
 



Owned1 -> RE: Slave Getting Started (10/1/2006 9:32:26 PM)

I would also like to suggest you put in your profile what you have to offer the one who might be interested in you.  Much of your profile is about what you are looking for and what you want.  You are there to serve the one who will own you, they will not be the one to serve you.

I would also strongly concur with getting out from behind the computer and meeting your local scene in da flesh




MisPandora -> RE: Slave Getting Started (10/2/2006 12:13:58 AM)

Great advice from everyone.
 
A few suggestions:
 
In addition to "getting involved", I'm going to be more specific and suggest that you seek out a cache of local submissives involved RT and see if you can stir up some dialogue or lunches or something social with them.  One of the greatest things I've seen here in the Philadelphia community was the beginning of the Submissive Snack and Learn and the Art of Service groups that have blossomed and now serve to support submissives and their interests without being "under the wing" of the dominants.  Snack and Learn also has an Atlanta, GA chapter.  Contact the list owner to get involved.  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Atlanta_submissivesnackandlearn/
 
Try to be diligent and polite with replies to emails.  Some of the best connections you can ever develop come out of honest banter online and your consistency as well as your attention to good communication can facilitate that.



LadyAlexa -> RE: Slave Getting Started (10/2/2006 5:19:36 PM)

Most interesting.  I agree with those who have already replied to your message.  Becoming involved with a local group, finding friends within the lifestyle, and developing your knowledge of just what/where/how you fit into the whole thing ....it's all important.  As stated...some folks love fresh meat.  You don't want to be a victim either emotionally or physically, never mind the mental aspect.  Although you want 24/7, might I ask: have you ever dated without thinking it'll lead to 24/7 in the vanilla world?  All the more reason to take it slower with the D/s realm.  

Be careful what you wish for...as it might come true.   Your profile is nice. Cute even at some points.  But it's the same as so many.  This is my version of your profile.

new, inexperience; this is what I want to do; this is what I want you to do with me: this is how I, I I I     yeah too many I's in there.

Yes it is sincere; yes it states a lot of wonderful things.  But it can also allow you to be open to alot of not so wonderful things.  Would you be willing ...after meeting someone...to go to their house without an escort? What about safe calls?  Do you want to serve by cleaning? sewing? walking the dog?

I just about fall in love with those who state not just I want to serve...but my desire is to serve in any capacity My Domme wishes.  If that means grocery shopping, cleaning the pool, doing the laundry, brushing the cat, then that is where I belong.  I seek to make My Domme's life easier.  Hopefully some of the pleasures that she would enjoy would be having her feet massaged, hair brushed, body bathed and massaged.  The remote control within her grasp.  Her glass always full. Her food to her liking.  And her kitchen floor scrubbed clean!

LOL the above is a little fantasy profile that I would love to see on some sub's profile.   Interesting that it doesn't mention sex, any type of play, what the sub wants done to them.

As someone who likes both male and female subs, I wish you luck.



DivaDuchess -> RE: Slave Getting Started (10/2/2006 7:03:13 PM)

Oh yes ... get some RT experience before jumping into a TPE ... Recovering from abuse in any lifestyle is horrifying.  Don't make yourself another statistic.  Reach out to your local community for groups you can join/visit IRL.  Good luck to you. 





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