RE: How to protect myself (from a newbie) (Full Version)

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diamonddreamlove -> RE: How to protect myself (from a newbie) (10/3/2006 6:19:06 PM)

My Dom at our first meeting or two was very concerned that as a newbie i was not being as careful as He felt i should be.  He gave me several tips right off the bat.  Take a cab to the public restaurant not bar to meet.  Never allow then to follow you unless you lead them to the police department.  And above all ropes and chains and restraints are for when the relationship is more secure and you know each other better.  I still get lectures like this and He says He plans to keep me LOL and i know i plan to stay.  But life is transient at best and death does end a relationship fast so He will continue to lecture me about being safe giving me ideas and asking me what i would/should do in a certain situation.  Oh and btw i am also concealed weapons qualified and don't plan to take my clothes off the first meet so whoever i am with should always wonder is she carring and just how good does she shoot (answer: very well especially in the kill zone).  Also good training in self defence is a good thing to know.  Ex parole officer that knows how to break a hold if necessary and to apply one also doesn't have to be the way but then it only takes one time of not being safe to end up dead or just merely injured for life.  Be safe, take care and if it doesn't feel right get out fast.



MASTERRocker -> RE: How to protect myself (from a newbie) (10/3/2006 6:24:59 PM)

Good Girl - you have a wise and loving MASTER



hypnoticblue -> RE: How to protect myself (from a newbie) (10/3/2006 10:06:01 PM)

The only advice I can give essentially, if you have a bad feeling, go with it.  Better to be safe than sorry.  If there is any ANY uneasiness at ALL then go with it.  A true Dom will understand this uneasiness and will NEVER insist on you meeting alone. 



LifeIsTooShort -> RE: How to protect myself (from a newbie) (10/9/2006 5:39:53 PM)

It is not always just the first few meetings with someone that you have to be cautious about.  Sometimes it takes a very long time to really know someone.  I was in a relationship with a Dominant for two years.  The second year my son and I were living with him.  He said and did all the right things in the beginning and respected all of my limits.  I should have paid more attention to the little signs that he had an anger problem, but it never seemed bad enough to worry about and I overlooked some things.  A couple of months ago I walked away from the relationship when he became physically abusive during a disagreement.  This had nothing to do with the lifestyle, just simply his way of reacting to a frustrating situation.  I feel like I was very cautious and was experienced in the lifestyle before we got together.   It is hard for me to believe that I did not see this side of him until after 2 years.  We had even talked about getting married. 

I can't beat myself up for allowing this to happen, but there will always be a side of me that is even more cautious than I was before.  I learned a valuable lesson.  You can know someone for a very long time and still not be able to predict how they will react to any given situation.  We have to have so much trust in this lifestyle and it is a beautiful thing when you find the right person who is deserving of that trust.  You just have to always keep your eyes open to signs that something is not right.  Instinct is our best friend sometimes.

Susan



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