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RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 12:54:54 PM   
NINASHARP


Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

Hello A/all,


On a related note, as I tend to suspect this entire thread was aimed at me.



Yeah, It's all about you now isn't it?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy
I didnt out anybody.  I merely made a phone call and asked about a psychiatrist who was affiliated with a hospital.



Now why would you go and do that?



quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

I feel that Dominance starts with the ability to control oneself. Without that, how can one hope to dominate another?


I found this in your profile.

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 2:19:27 PM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
****fast reply****

I can't afford to be "outed".  My job involves children and my board of directors wouldn't tolerate any kind of questions in this area.  I could sue, of course, and probably would, however, I'd still be out of my profession, probably for the rest of my life unless we moved.

There are others who have small ones still at home and have a spouse who would jump at the chance to use their actions as reasons to fight for custody.   I have received a number of notes telling me I'm not "real" because I don't post a picture here. Too bad. I have judged the risks and find them acceptable, given my limited self-disclosure, even to those whom I haven't developed enough trust to give more personal information.

For everyone who feels they have the freedom or are in occupations in which they can be "out",  good for you.  For everyone who judges those of us who know the risks are too great in our own lives, I suggest that there be more tolerance.  Being "out" does not make a person better or more real. 


_____________________________


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to NINASHARP)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 4:23:07 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

Forgot to ad this bit of information from another thread;
 

QUOTE:

"I contacted the Psychiatric Unit at St. Michaels Hospital in Toronto and charmed the woman I spoke to about the person, who I described, that I had met in a coffee shop who was affiliated with them.  They gave me a name.  A number.  The name of a psychiatric practice.  Said he was a wonderful psychiatrist and they were thrilled to have him on staff. "


My friend informed me this morning that the receptionist from his place of business left him a message that someone acting strangely called to inquire about him. As he has a very distinctive appearance it could not have been mistaken as a description of someone else. She was very concerned for my friend's well being given the nature of his business and the clientele he deals with.
 
 


Very simply, it was wrong to do this. If it were done to someone and cost them their job, that person might decide to go on a road-trip.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 4:26:09 PM   
Level


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And let me add: I think the whole thread desolved into a bunch of bull. I like pretty much everyone involved, and think there were things said and done from all sides that I disagree with.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 4:40:58 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

Twice did not state I had been outed, it is difficult to out someone who left the closet a long time ago. I did give freely of information because it could not in any way damage me. 
  
  I believe the purpose of this thread was to bring attention to the fact that were I not public about my lifestyle those who for some reason needed so desperately to verify my identity could have indeed caused me injury.


Now I read that and understood it perfectly

What a shame it is that some others are only going to read the words they want  to see and not ALL words You or Twice had  written, same thing was done with the other thread over and over again.








_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to raevyntc)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 4:47:32 PM   
Tikkiee


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quote:

What a shame it is that some others are only going to read the words they want to see and not ALL words You or Twice had written, same thing was done with the other thread over and over again.

That kind of behavior tends to go both ways.


_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 5:01:43 PM   
Sinergy


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Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP

Now why would you go and do that?



Hello A/all,

Asked and answered.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to NINASHARP)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 5:05:40 PM   
Tikkiee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

Exactly, Tikkiee.  Women are catty and men have pissing contests

Oh man. Are you telling me that I can not participate in a pissing contest?

WTF

When did this happen, and why was I not notified? !!!!!! 


_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 5:30:58 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

Exactly, Tikkiee.  Women are catty and men have pissing contests

Oh man. Are you telling me that I can not participate in a pissing contest?

WTF

When did this happen, and why was I not notified? !!!!!! 



Welllllllllllllllllllll....you could...but you still can't write as pretty in the snow...

(in reply to Tikkiee)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 5:48:34 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

Exactly, Tikkiee.  Women are catty and men have pissing contests

Oh man. Are you telling me that I can not participate in a pissing contest?

WTF

When did this happen, and why was I not notified? !!!!!! 



Welllllllllllllllllllll....you could...but you still can't write as pretty in the snow...


I wouldn't put that challenge to Cassie if I were you. She will go and eat beets and prove you wrong!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 5:59:53 PM   
nefertari


Posts: 425
Joined: 7/22/2006
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~Fast Reply~

I'm always amused by people that repeatedly get so caught up in internet drama.  To take it to the level of looking up a number and calling is just pathetic.  Talk about insecure.  Or maybe just bored.  Get a hobby.  If only I had so little in life to be concerned about that I had the time, or inclination, to do such a thing.....

As to the intent of the OP, a lot of us would not be comfortable for any number of reasons being outed.  Even if for no other reason than a complete stranger did the outing.  That's beyond creepy.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 6:47:01 PM   
sweetnsensual


Posts: 61
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline
I saw this as a rolling forum on the side of my mailbox and read the OP but not the other pages.  Having said that...

I'm sure someone else must've mentioned it before but in case they haven't...

In order to "out" someone is to say they were at the same place that person was in order to see them there.  That would be implicating themselves as well as the person. 

Also, I have this big thing about not messing with someone's job.  You just don't do that.  It doesn't matter what they're into when they're not at work or their personal lives.  As long as it doesn't affect their job performance or gets in the way of their work, it doesn't matter.  But thinking this is completely hypothetical and to the person who would do something like that: that's just not cool.  There are no rules.  That's just a line you don't cross; you don't mess with someone's job. 

I have a pretty basic job and I don't really know how my employers would react if they were to know my interests.  I believe one of the higher-ups may be gay but I don't know for sure and no one seems to have a problem with it.  If someone did have a problem, how would that person get the job in the first place?

< Message edited by sweetnsensual -- 10/4/2006 6:53:25 PM >

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 7:03:17 PM   
sweetnsensual


Posts: 61
Joined: 9/9/2005
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I'm sorry but what does "WIITWD" mean?

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 7:06:54 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

Exactly, Tikkiee.  Women are catty and men have pissing contests

Oh man. Are you telling me that I can not participate in a pissing contest?

WTF

When did this happen, and why was I not notified? !!!!!! 



Welllllllllllllllllllll....you could...but you still can't write as pretty in the snow...


I wouldn't put that challenge to Cassie if I were you. She will go and eat beets and prove you wrong!


/innocent look

who me?




_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 7:07:25 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnsensual

I'm sorry but what does "WIITWD" mean?


What It Is That We Do

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to sweetnsensual)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 9:52:25 PM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline
Settle down, nobody was outed, it's all an object lesson. If you happen to run into raevyntc, say hi, whatever.

The most disturbing aspect of this thread for me was the number of people living in mortal fear of being outed for... what? Jesus, what a country.

Technically, you can sue for calumny, possibly even conspiricy, assuming you have a lot of trime and money on your hands. It's a suit I'd like to see.

I dunno about the legality of taping private conversations, but this isn't employed nearly often enough against Christians who see slanderous gossip mongering as a higher calling.

No special rights for Christians, I say, let 'em get down and scrap like everybody else.

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/4/2006 10:32:16 PM   
dombill32


Posts: 43
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
This isnt quite on topic but its similar.  I couple years ago I met a couple friends for dinner, and at some point while we where there one of the waitress's walked by I thought oh wow Ive seen her on the site.  I think she recognized my face too, Im not sure but I sensed some kind recognition when she looked over.  I didnt say anything or approach her because she was at work and I thought going up to her and saying hey do you have this profile on this site would be way out of line, but the next time I was online I looked and it was her for sure. 

< Message edited by dombill32 -- 10/4/2006 10:33:37 PM >

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/5/2006 12:18:59 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline
My own personal policy is along these lines.  My family in general is
very conservative, either Catholic or Protestant, and most of them
have enough trouble with the Pagan aspect, let alone Leather.
 
Career and academic life is separate from my personal life;
some of my personal friends know, others do not.  I have no
wish to cause undue stress and worry for those family members
and friends who have more "delicate sensibilities".
 
"Discretion is the better part of valor".
 
Vendaval

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunshine119
****fast reply****
For everyone who feels they have the freedom or are in occupations in which they can be "out",  good for you.  For everyone who judges those of us who know the risks are too great in our own lives, I suggest that there be more tolerance.  Being "out" does not make a person better or more real. 


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Sunshine119)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/5/2006 12:39:14 AM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
I for one am very secure.
Most people who know Me know how bishop and I live.
My boss actually knows about it.It doesnt effect how I do My job,so she doesnt care.



_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Being outed to your job by a fellow poster. - 10/5/2006 5:02:55 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline
greetings

to have someone outed you is horrible many would jobs and fmaily if they do not know will be veryupset, my family knows but i do not and would not place my picture here, i have a son who friends may come here he wiould shame him he and my twin myniece and some others know,. but i would not let anyone else know at all it is my business if someone i talk to for some time would want my pciture i would give it out but no way would o pplace it here too much to lose. i am sorry that happen that person out him what dick head and a fool

take care all

mons

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 80
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