Collarchat.com

Join Our Community		 Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/4/2006 7:43:03 AM   
desireofblkpearl


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline 		When my Master punishes/displines me he hates when I cry.

My question is this if you are punishing or Displining your slave/sub do you care if they cry, does it effect you if they do and how so?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/4/2006 7:52:07 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		From the other side of the cane/whip etc......It doesn't make one iota of difference to my Master. He neither likes nor dislikes it. I asked him once if he would prefer me not to......(which isn't likely, in any case, but I was curious) he said that it didn't matter to him one way or the other.

agirl

(in reply to desireofblkpearl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/4/2006 8:13:32 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		There are those who actually like to see someone cry, rather like a fetish.

But crying, in and of itself, should not be considered the equivalent of a safe word.  I might suggest that the reason why someone would not want to see the tears from their sub is then they feel 'bad' about continuing.

I understand the point, but think they need to suck it up and continue until 'they' think they're done.  I believe that both parties will feel better afterwards.  The sub will appreciate that the 'outburst' did not affect the dom's judgement.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to desireofblkpearl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/4/2006 8:26:31 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		I hate to punish.  It means there was a failure somewhere and I now have to move from my regularly scheduled enjoyable programming to the commercial.  I try to avoid it.  So do my subs.  It is much more fun to indulge in activities that are intense and fun for all in a positive light.  That being said, if it is necessary, crying affects me not one whit.  The punishment will be meted out, discussed, forgiven and forgotten.  It is over and puts some closure to the transgression.

Crying is not something I particularly get off on.  There are times where it can be a lot of fun when something is particularly intense or cathartic to the submissive.  There are other times where it may concern me.  But in a punishment scenario, it will not alter my course from the punishment at all. 

I also very rarely punish using corporal so there is not usually a physical concern I have if the tears are a-flowin'.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to desireofblkpearl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/4/2006 8:28:01 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		If they are crying due to emotional pain, no I never enjoy it.

That doesn't mean I make them stop or will stop what I'm doing to them if they have earned and accepted it.

If they are crying due to physical pain or necessary catharsis, it makes me feel very yummy.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to desireofblkpearl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/4/2006 8:42:52 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		not meaning to belittle the subject at hand, it is illogical to expect that someone who endures pain, be it physical or emotional (or both) not to cry. we ARE, afterall, human beings with feelings, both emotional and biological. also, girls aren't the only ones who cry, it's the male ego that makes it unexceptable (for the most part) for males to cry.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/4/2006 10:55:16 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		If I cry, it's because it damn well hurts a LOT. Crying is what happens when I am hurt a lot. If it made any difference to what he'd decided was necessary, he'd be stopping before he'd started. He just ignores it completely until the job is done.

agirl


(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/4/2006 2:30:59 PM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		i don't cry during correction.  i feel it's a cheap shot because i know if i cry, it tugs on all His compassion points. It can't help but distract Him.  Male instinct screams for them to soothe when they see tears.  No good for me o need correction, then cause more resentment because He feels i am tugging heartstrings!

my feelings on it aside... If He felt i was manipulating via tears, He would end the discussion until i was in control of myself and accepting correction with my rational brain.  It's not as if crying is a safe-word to get out of correction,  but He sees it as futile to be teaching the unteachable.  And for sure, if i'm that emotional over something, i'm probably not in my most teachable mode.    (This is verbal correction, not a physical punishment, and i think that might be a different case altogether.)

Now after, -- sometimes, W/we B/both cry if something big has been resolved.  An item where He feels some culpability in it, or a sense that i have come to a new level of understanding.  my "lightbulb moments" are very intense and satisfying for U/us B/oth, so yeah, tears happen.

:: looks both ways ::; nobody saw me say that :: shhhh

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/4/2006 5:53:40 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Like agirl's situation, if I cry during punishment, it is either ignored, or I am quieted.  Personally I try not to cry.  I typically feel badly enough about what I have done, and don't feel I have the right to cry about it.

(in reply to desireofblkpearl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/5/2006 5:53:00 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		My Master has no compassion at all when it comes to things like that.He's quite ruthless. If he's decided that something is going to happen nothing, but nothing, moves him........least of all my tears. I accept the penalty because I accept the responsibility for whatever it is I've done but it's the actual pain that makes me cry.

agirl 

(in reply to Mavis)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/5/2006 6:37:52 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		He doesn't use corporal punishment to teach me anything. Either we can talk it out so I will agree with him, or it's something I will never agree with. He can't beat me into breaking my moral code. Corporal punishment here is used when I'm eaten up with guilt and need to cry to release it. As such, I have to let the tears out because that's when he knows I'm going to move past. If I refuse to cry, that would indicate a great deal of resentment and anger because I don't cry if I don't feel safe.

Telling me not to cry, not to give him my authentic self is tantamount for us to telling me to lie. It puts up walls between us which are detrimental to the relationship. And claiming that I cry in order to manipulate him would be a sure fire death knell in the relationship, plus it kills my sexual desire for the other immediately.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/5/2006 6:58:13 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Daddy does not like it when I cry out, although one time, I couldn't help but sob into a towel that I was biting down on to keep from being loud.  He knew that I was in pain, but things went until He was finished, after which time, I was told to "get myself together" and stop.  Crying out and getting too worked up can be seen as manipulative, so I just try to "suck it up" and get through it.  He always talks to me afterward and explains why it had to happen and how I can do better and not make the same mistake again. 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/5/2006 10:45:30 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: desireofblkpearl

When my Master punishes/displines me he hates when I cry.

My question is this if you are punishing or Displining your slave/sub do you care if they cry, does it effect you if they do and how so?


i really got into abit of trouble... im just a wicked girl.. and he told me from the start that it would be until i cried.  Of course, i refused to cry and i fought it with all my might.

When i eventually cried - he was very pleased and as he sat there hugging me he asked me if i knew why he likes it when i cried.  Course i didnt.  = )  His response was

"when you cry, your defenses are down" 

(my walls that shut everything out, that keep me from caring, or feeling ect)

edited to add :  i am not one of those people that cries easy and i've managed in my life to learn to do anything but cry.  i hate to be seen crying and have actually managed to learn how to cry and smile like i was perfectly happy at the same time.  (fooled him a few times in the begining.. ha ha ha)  I despise crying, its a vulnerable spot to be in and shows a weakness.. which of course i hate to do.  To me, its an "in" and i definetly refuse to allow anyone "in".  So with me, it is beneficial for the tears to come.  No matter where the tears orginated.  So between Master and me - he knows he has reached into me and past any wall blocking out whatever he is trying to teach me. 

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 10/5/2006 10:56:00 AM >

(in reply to desireofblkpearl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/5/2006 5:28:20 PM   
Darthtellectual


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I would find her crying to be a distraction, but then, I dish out the physical stuff only for specific things as so they don't start looking for ways to get swatted. But I am not above ten quick ones for a minor infraction. If the sub did the wrong, they should suck-it-up and remember not to do it again. As long as they knew the rules they have no place to cry during the punishment.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/6/2006 3:30:37 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		It would depend on "why" I am crying with my late Master if he would stop punishing me or not. If I were crying from physical pain that was "my" problem, I shouldn't have broken his rules..but if I were crying due to emotional pain, past issues, etc he would stop at that very moment, comfort me and continue my punishment at a later time----i never got away with anything.

(in reply to Darthtellectual)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/6/2006 6:09:29 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JerseyKrissi72

It would depend on "why" I am crying with my late Master if he would stop punishing me or not. If I were crying from physical pain that was "my" problem, I shouldn't have broken his rules..but if I were crying due to emotional pain, past issues, etc he would stop at that very moment, comfort me and continue my punishment at a later time----i never got away with anything.

You raise a good point.  I have had traumatic baggage come up before during a punishment.  He could immediately sense the change in my sounds and reactions and immediately stopped to assess.  That didn't mean punishment was over.  But it did mean he wasn't going to traumatize me in doing it.

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/6/2006 8:21:59 AM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl
I despise crying, its a vulnerable spot to be in and shows a weakness.. which of course i hate to do.  To me, its an "in" and i definetly refuse to allow anyone "in".  So with me, it is beneficial for the tears to come.  No matter where the tears orginated.  So between Master and me - he knows he has reached into me and past any wall blocking out whatever he is trying to teach me. 


one used to see crying as a sign of weakness, but after years of not allowing one's feelings and emotions to show, one now cries if one needs to.  one has become stronger and learned more about one's self - and one will not hide one's feelings in any way.  If others do not like this one's crying than that is their problem, not this one's. 

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/6/2006 8:59:23 AM   
TxBadMan


Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
Status: offline 		Much like Agirl said, it matters very little to me if my girl starts crying. It does not and will not change what is happening.

_____________________________

Chris



(in reply to desireofblkpearl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/6/2006 10:03:35 AM   
fckmeimirish


Posts: 27
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline 		Its our duty as Doms/Masters to endure the tests of our subs/slaves.  subs/slaves need, in my humble experience, to feel the strength of their Dom/Master in order to maintain the relationship's D/s dynamic.  When a sub/slave cries during punishment, they are presenting their Dom/Master with an opportunity to show the strength the sub/slave so desperately needs in their life, and it is our job as Doms/Masters to be the strong-willed person we are billed to be and carry the emotional burden of seeing someone you care deeply for in real pain and have the self-control to carry that burden all the way to the soothing and comfort phase that comes on the heels of a punishment.  That is the time for the Dom/Master to show the sub/slave that it was difficult to ignore their tears, but that they knew it was necessary to do so and that they willingly made that sacrifice in order to help the sub/slave feel more secure in the roles of the relationship.  Inwardly, its always tough to see someone you care about crying, but as the Dom/Master ... you must endure it for the sake of your sub/slave ... they need to know you are as strong as they think you are ... and they'll likely make you remind them from time to time because its what they crave and need. 

(in reply to TxBadMan)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard - 10/7/2006 2:53:10 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I agree. It would be awful if I felt my crying made any difference, because that is a terribly hard thing for me to control. I don't cry for any reason other than I'm in huge amounts of pain. Of course he knows this anyway.

At times like that he has a *swinging brick* for a heart and it's best that way. I don't get *soothed* either. What was due was due. If it hurt, it was jolly meant to hurt.  I don't expect any *comforting* ....I was hurt on purpose.

agirl



(in reply to fckmeimirish)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Crying or Not Crying/ When a girl trys to hard Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109