RE: judeged by other Doms

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DiurnalVampire -> RE: judeged by other Doms (11/18/2006 4:12:03 PM)
Ive been judge by others for the way I handle my boy. You can give them the same answers I do, If yo dont likeit, then dont run your relationship my way. I dont tell you how to do things, dont think you can get off telling me how to. Everyone is gong to judge everything they see. The smart ones keep it to themsleves. IF you ask, I'l share my opinion. If you dont want to know it, then dont ask for it. If how others view you is a problem, then dont share what it is you do. If you choose to share then you do accept the consequence of pthers forming opinions about what it is they see. DV

sophia37 -> RE: judeged by other Doms (11/18/2006 5:44:36 PM)
stop blabbing to other Doms what it is you do. Problem solved.

Lashra -> RE: judeged by other Doms (11/19/2006 1:36:57 PM)
The hell with them, do what you enjoy. [:)] If they have a problem with it tell them to go fly a kite. It is their immaturity and lack of respect for anothers chosen, consensual lifestyle showing through. ~Lashra

str8milkingbull -> RE: judeged by other Doms (11/20/2006 11:23:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra The hell with them, do what you enjoy. [:)] If they have a problem with it tell them to go fly a kite. It is their immaturity and lack of respect for anothers chosen, consensual lifestyle showing through. ~Lashra My thoughts exactly I'm listed as a Switch here but am more of a Dom overall, if people don't like it well tough. It's whatever that floats your cork to heck with others.

Lieren -> RE: judeged by other Doms (11/21/2006 10:07:09 AM)
If there were Switch clubs I might join :) Maybe I should start a YahooGroup... "switching-cause-it-feels-so-fucking-good" grin I mean, for me, that's the whole point. If I'm in the mood to Top then I dive into it fully, as I do with subbing... I answer to no one for my choices. But that doesn't make me stop wishing for a community that would accept me for what I am. shrug Lieren

Aine -> RE: judeged by other Doms (11/21/2006 10:29:23 AM)
People seem to confuse accepting something with adopting something. Accepting someone else's way doesn't mean or necessarily have anything to do with adopting said way. You're not forcing or trying to sway others into adopting your way. You've done no harm. Those that can't make that distinction, if presented with the -idea- of acceptance vs. adoption still look down their noses, then are they really worth your time, or your thoughts? To me, they aren't.

mpnaleksandra2 -> RE: judeged by other Doms (11/24/2006 5:19:26 PM)
There will always be someone out there who will turn their nose up at you. This time is no different.

subfever -> RE: judeged by other Doms (11/24/2006 9:06:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied If it works for you why worry about what other people think? That's as far as I had to read. Case closed... [;)]

theRose4U -> RE: judeged by other Doms (11/28/2006 8:05:48 PM)
Another dominants opinion pretty much stops at my neked butt. Take it or leave it all the give a damn they get from me is a neked tooter.

sophia37 -> RE: judeged by other Doms (11/29/2006 4:31:48 PM)
What? Are you just blabbing it to all the neighbors or something? Why would so many people know about it?

mgdartist -> RE: judeged by other Doms (12/12/2006 1:54:23 PM)
AHA!! Should have known about you all along. Youre making all us other doms look bad. We have enough uppity subs/slaves/sams as it is, and guys like you are the reason. You need to come down off that fence , pick a team, and be a DOM bro. I WAS needing someone new to look down my nose at, and do appreciate your honesty here. Nonetheless, welcome to my shitlist. I shall now go forth and sully your rep, and inform ALL here of your ambivalent lack of dominance, which endangers our very foundations. What seditious tomfoolery!, and you threaten to topple all us other tops from our previous state of topliness, grandeur and enjoyment. Snapperhead! hehe, I do of course, jest. I feel your being topped by your sub shows the innate strength of the relation, and commend both you and your sub for doing so. While I've yet to be topped, I know I'd likely enjoy and benefit from it, and grow as a dominant, although I've always been 95% top, and have yet to meet the woman I felt was utterly viscious enough to inspire the fear and abject no holds barred submission I fantasize about once or twice a year, but who would still let me top from on bottom, as I am after all, just a dominant. lol It's rumoured that PD, the uber-dom at insex spent several years as a complete sub just to fully know both sides of his craft, and has pointed at that as a major factor in his immense success. Taking what we dish out I think is VERY important., and you never really know that you could, until you actually do.

carpezen -> RE: judeged by other Doms (12/15/2006 2:35:13 PM)
If there were Switch clubs I might join :) Maybe I should start a YahooGroup... "switching-cause-it-feels-so-fucking-good" grin I mean, for me, that's the whole point. If I'm in the mood to Top then I dive into it fully, as I do with subbing... I answer to no one for my choices. But that doesn't make me stop wishing for a community that would accept me for what I am. _______________________________________________________________________ Now that is exactly what I would have said. And to those that think they know what it is to be a 'real' anything within BDSM undermines how I see BDSM. They should be ignored, completly. Acceptance, to each their own, to each their own kink and to each their own definition of what they want, how they want it, and how they get it. It is hard not to talk to others about what we love, others that appear to love the same thing. It leaves us vulnerable to them when we do talk to them. My suggestion would be to ignore the clique scene types and talk to and share with those that you resepect. It is also hard for some to not play in public. So, thicken that skin of yours for their razor stares. If they don't like it, they don't have to watch. That is after all yet another wonderous joy of BDSM, if we don't like what others like, we don't have to watch, participate, or engage, but in saying that, they don't have to with us. In fact, it is our responsibility to not judge others, or they will judge us. Judging also undermines what BDSM means to me. Acer

DominaSmartass -> RE: judeged by other Doms (12/15/2006 4:10:27 PM)
I have a similar issue... I am 100% certain that I am of the dominant orientation but I do enjoy bottoming sometimes. It's not doms who are my friends that mind this, everyone I actually care about the opinion of says "go for it if it makes you happy" but there is another contingent of idiots that think I must really be a sub, secretly. I wouldn't mind so much if they weren't always trying to convince me of it. At some point you just have to say screw it and screw what anyone else thinks. By the way, when you are "receiving sexual service" from a sub, you are in technical terms bottoming. So unless there is a Master out there who's never had a blow job, I guess we are all switches.

theRose4U -> RE: judeged by other Doms (12/15/2006 6:02:17 PM)
quote: i say have a blast, it is your life to live, you do what makes you feel good. Period. Unless of course you are trying out for the national runway Dom competitions...weg You only have to worry if you're crowned Universal Elite Ultimate Dominant. They can take away your poster child status for that...or getting too fat while crowned. It also only takes away points in poise that you can make up for in talent and swimsuit. [sm=lol.gif]

theRose4U -> RE: judeged by other Doms (12/15/2006 6:06:42 PM)
quote: It's not doms who are my friends that mind this, everyone I actually care about the opinion of says "go for it if it makes you happy" but there is another contingent of idiots that think I must really be a sub, secretly. Shhh big secret, you're no different from every fortune 500 executive I've ever met. They love bottoming to release stress.

champagnewishes -> RE: judeged by other Doms (12/24/2006 11:18:29 AM)
I say the only two people's opinion that matters are you and your sub. If i stopped doing everything someone else might look down on, hell, i wouldn't have any fun!

Grlwithboy -> RE: judeged by other Doms (12/24/2006 11:34:29 AM)
There's something very Dominant and empowering about the stance "I'm having whatever kind of experience I want to have, whatever it might be." That's where I've left it, generally. I also can't understand how anyone can tie a rope suspension and not at least want to go up there once --I'm innately curious about stuff, whatever it is. I also don't think everyone has to be completely closeted about what you like, and since I've stopped really caring all too much what it "looks like" I've been bondaged by my husband at public events. I'm sure people thought "there's a cute sub" walking by. It's only a horrible mistake that has to be corrected if you feel that's somehow a bad thing to be, in my mind.

RUpainsmith -> RE: judeged by other Doms (12/28/2006 10:00:35 PM)
As in the vanilla world, people tend to form stereotypes. Just because you don't fit a mold doesn't mean for the most part people won't accept you. I'm a dominant male that will on rare occassion, bottom to a sub or another dominant person. Putting "switch" would be misleading, because I don't ever really submit. Do what comes naturally to you and feels right, if you sleep at night, 's all good. However, if you are so concerned with how others regard you, you need to take a much more introspective look at yourself and see where your values lie.

Stephann -> RE: judeged by other Doms (12/29/2006 8:13:28 AM)
Seeing as we're both 5'10", I'd look pretty silly trying to look down my nose at ya. I'd also get a crick in my neck if I did it too long. That'd make me look both silly, and masochistic.

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