Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: judeged by other Doms


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> RE: judeged by other Doms Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: judeged by other Doms - 11/18/2006 4:12:03 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
Ive been judge by others for the way I handle my boy.  You can give them the same answers I do, If yo dont likeit, then dont run your relationship my way. I dont tell you how to do things, dont think you can get off telling me how to. 
Everyone is gong to judge everything they see.  The smart ones keep it to themsleves.  IF you ask, I'l share my opinion. If you dont want to know it, then dont ask for it.
If how others view you is a problem, then dont share what it is you do. If you choose to share then you do accept the consequence of pthers forming opinions about what it is they see. 

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Sirandlittle1)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: judeged by other Doms - 11/18/2006 5:44:36 PM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline
stop blabbing to other Doms what it is you do. Problem solved.

(in reply to Sirandlittle1)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: judeged by other Doms - 11/19/2006 1:36:57 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
The hell with them, do what you enjoy.  If they have a problem with it tell them to go fly a kite. It is their immaturity and lack of respect for anothers chosen, consensual lifestyle showing through.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to wanta247)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: judeged by other Doms - 11/20/2006 11:23:58 AM   
str8milkingbull


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

The hell with them, do what you enjoy.  If they have a problem with it tell them to go fly a kite. It is their immaturity and lack of respect for anothers chosen, consensual lifestyle showing through.

~Lashra



My thoughts exactly I'm listed as a Switch here but am more of a Dom overall, if people don't like it well tough.  

It's whatever that floats your cork to heck with others.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: judeged by other Doms - 11/21/2006 10:07:09 AM   
Lieren


Posts: 29
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline
If there were Switch clubs I might join :)  Maybe I should start a YahooGroup... "switching-cause-it-feels-so-fucking-good" *grin*  I mean, for me, that's the whole point.  If I'm in the mood to Top then I dive into it fully, as I do with subbing... I answer to no one for my choices.  But that doesn't make me stop wishing for a community that would accept me for what I am.

*shrug*
Lieren

< Message edited by Lieren -- 11/21/2006 10:08:20 AM >

(in reply to str8milkingbull)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: judeged by other Doms - 11/21/2006 10:29:23 AM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
People seem to confuse accepting something with adopting something.

Accepting someone else's way doesn't mean or necessarily have anything to do with adopting said way.

You're not forcing or trying to sway others into adopting your way.  You've done no harm.

Those that can't make that distinction, if presented with the -idea- of acceptance vs. adoption still look down their noses, then are they really worth your time, or your thoughts?

To me, they aren't.


_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to Lieren)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: judeged by other Doms - 11/24/2006 5:19:26 PM   
mpnaleksandra2


Posts: 24
Joined: 1/10/2006
Status: offline
There will always be someone out there who will turn their nose up at you. This time is no different.

(in reply to Sirandlittle1)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: judeged by other Doms - 11/24/2006 9:06:46 PM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

If it works for you why worry about what other people think? 


That's as far as I had to read. Case closed...

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: judeged by other Doms - 11/28/2006 8:05:48 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
Another dominants opinion pretty much stops at my neked butt. Take it or leave it all the give a damn they get from me is a neked tooter.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Sirandlittle1)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: judeged by other Doms - 11/29/2006 4:31:48 PM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline
What? Are you just blabbing it to all the neighbors or something? Why would so many people know about it?

(in reply to Sirandlittle1)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: judeged by other Doms - 12/12/2006 1:54:23 PM   
mgdartist


Posts: 328
Joined: 5/13/2006
From: irving tx
Status: offline
AHA!! Should have known about you all along. Youre making all us other doms look bad. We have enough uppity subs/slaves/sams as it is, and guys like you are the reason. You need to come down off that fence , pick a team, and be a DOM bro. I WAS needing someone new to look down my nose at, and do appreciate your honesty here.

Nonetheless, welcome to my shitlist. I shall now go forth and sully your rep, and inform ALL here of your ambivalent lack of dominance, which endangers our very foundations. What seditious tomfoolery!, and you threaten to topple all us other tops from our previous state of topliness, grandeur and enjoyment. Snapperhead!




hehe, I do of course, jest.
I feel your being topped by your sub shows the innate strength of the relation, and commend both you and your sub for doing so. While I've yet to be topped, I know I'd likely enjoy and benefit from it, and grow as a dominant, although I've always been 95% top, and have yet to meet the woman I felt was utterly viscious enough to inspire the fear and abject no holds barred submission I fantasize about once or twice a year, but who would still let me top from on bottom, as I am after all, just a dominant.

lol

It's rumoured that PD, the uber-dom at insex spent several years as a complete sub just to fully know both sides of his craft, and has pointed at that as a major factor in his immense success. Taking what we dish out I think is VERY important., and you never really know that you could, until you actually do.



_____________________________



(in reply to sophia37)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: judeged by other Doms - 12/15/2006 2:35:13 PM   
carpezen


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline
If there were Switch clubs I might join :)  Maybe I should start a YahooGroup... "switching-cause-it-feels-so-fucking-good" *grin*  I mean, for me, that's the whole point.  If I'm in the mood to Top then I dive into it fully, as I do with subbing... I answer to no one for my choices.  But that doesn't make me stop wishing for a community that would accept me for what I am.


_______________________________________________________________________

Now that is exactly what I would have said.
And to those that think they know what it is to be a 'real' anything within BDSM undermines how I see BDSM. They should be ignored, completly. Acceptance, to each their own, to each their own kink and to each their own definition of what they want, how they want it, and how they get it.

It is hard not to talk to others about what we love, others that appear to love the same thing. It leaves us vulnerable to them when we do talk to them. My suggestion would be to ignore the clique scene types and talk to and share with those that you resepect. It is also hard for some to not play in public. So, thicken that skin of yours for their razor stares. If they don't like it, they don't have to watch. That is after all yet another wonderous joy of BDSM, if we don't like what others like, we don't have to watch, participate, or engage, but in saying that, they don't have to with us. In fact, it is our responsibility to not judge others, or they will judge us. Judging also undermines what BDSM means to me.

Acer


(in reply to Lieren)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: judeged by other Doms - 12/15/2006 4:10:27 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline
I have a similar issue...

I am 100% certain that I am of the dominant orientation but I do enjoy bottoming sometimes. It's not doms who are my friends that mind this, everyone I actually care about the opinion of says "go for it if it makes you happy" but there is another contingent of idiots that think I must really be a sub, secretly. I wouldn't mind so much if they weren't always trying to convince me of it. At some point you just have to say screw it and screw what anyone else thinks.

By the way, when you are "receiving sexual service" from a sub, you are in technical terms bottoming. So unless there is a Master out there who's never had a blow job, I guess we are all switches.

(in reply to Sirandlittle1)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: judeged by other Doms - 12/15/2006 6:02:17 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i say have a blast, it is your life to live, you do what makes you feel good. Period.  Unless of course you are trying out for the national runway Dom competitions...*weg*


You only have to worry if you're crowned Universal Elite Ultimate Dominant. They can take away your poster child status for that...or getting too fat while crowned.
It also only takes away points in poise that you can make up for in talent and swimsuit.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Sirandlittle1)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: judeged by other Doms - 12/15/2006 6:06:42 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It's not doms who are my friends that mind this, everyone I actually care about the opinion of says "go for it if it makes you happy" but there is another contingent of idiots that think I must really be a sub, secretly.


Shhh big secret, you're no different from every fortune 500 executive I've ever met. They love bottoming to release stress.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: judeged by other Doms - 12/24/2006 11:18:29 AM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline
I say the only two people's opinion that matters are you and your sub.

If i stopped doing everything someone else might look down on, hell, i wouldn't have any fun!

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to wanta247)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: judeged by other Doms - 12/24/2006 11:34:29 AM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline
There's something very Dominant and empowering about the stance "I'm having whatever kind of experience I want to have, whatever it might be."

That's where I've left it, generally. I also can't understand how anyone can tie a rope suspension and not at *least* want to go up there once --I'm innately curious about stuff, whatever it is. I also don't think everyone has to be completely closeted about what you like, and since I've stopped really caring all too much what it "looks like" I've been bondaged by my husband at public events. I'm sure people thought "there's a cute sub" walking by.  It's only a horrible mistake that has to be corrected if you feel that's somehow a bad thing to be, in my mind.

< Message edited by Grlwithboy -- 12/24/2006 11:37:02 AM >

(in reply to champagnewishes)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: judeged by other Doms - 12/28/2006 10:00:35 PM   
RUpainsmith


Posts: 42
Joined: 11/13/2006
Status: offline
As in the vanilla world, people tend to form stereotypes.  Just because you don't fit a mold doesn't mean for the most part people won't accept you.  I'm a dominant male that will on rare occassion, bottom to a sub or another dominant person.  Putting "switch" would be misleading, because I don't ever really submit.

Do what comes naturally to you and feels right, if you sleep at night, 's all good.  However, if you are so concerned with how others regard you, you need to take a much more introspective look at yourself and see where your values lie.

(in reply to Grlwithboy)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: judeged by other Doms - 12/29/2006 8:13:28 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
Seeing as we're both 5'10", I'd look pretty silly trying to look down my nose at ya.  I'd also get a crick in my neck if I did it too long.  That'd make me look both silly, and masochistic.


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to RUpainsmith)
Profile   Post #: 39
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> RE: judeged by other Doms Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.086