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a confusing problem - 10/10/2006 10:36:49 PM

GothicSubMale

Posts: 2
Joined: 10/5/2006
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i am a sub. male,but my wife is asking me to collar her..........what do i do.....i have never really been in the role of a Master....can someone please help.

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RE: a confusing problem - 10/10/2006 10:52:52 PM

Lordandmaster

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Is she cute?

(in reply to GothicSubMale)

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RE: a confusing problem - 10/10/2006 11:21:35 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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Did she know you were submissive when you two married?
You could look at it as her dominating you into collaring her.

You might mention that in your profile, and maybe you two can find one bisexual Dom/Master to take you both on. M

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(in reply to GothicSubMale)

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RE: a confusing problem - 10/11/2006 4:58:08 AM

Lashra

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Tell her your submissive and that your not wired to be a Master. She may have to look outside the marriage for what she needs and you may have to do the same. Otherwise you two might do well as switches.

Good luck,
~Lashra

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RE: a confusing problem - 10/11/2006 5:51:45 AM

SexyFemDom

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Find someone who'll master her or top YOU to top her.

(in reply to GothicSubMale)

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RE: a confusing problem - 10/11/2006 7:48:58 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GothicSubMale

i am a sub. male,but my wife is asking me to collar her..........what do i do.....i have never really been in the role of a Master....can someone please help.

Wow, sounds like you all really need to talk.

I frankly don't see what value a collar would have if you aren't able or interested in being her dominant.

Hey, if you both want to switch with each other, great, but I'd make sure you got as much sub time as she does then because it can be so easy in a switch relationship for one person to give up more than they get. I've never seen that work out well when it happens.

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(in reply to GothicSubMale)

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RE: a confusing problem - 10/11/2006 9:36:08 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
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Help you with what, exactly? Do you want advice on whether or not to do it or do you want advice on how to explore the top side?

What are your feelings on it? Does it interest you? Is there a possibility for play outside the marriage? How long has she been wanting this? How much experience do you both have (in either role)? So many questions....

Maybe you can give us some more info for some better answers to help you along here :)

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RE: a confusing problem - 10/11/2006 11:02:08 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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Is she asking for you to do certain acts or to set up a certain set of relationship dynamics? There's a difference. Topping (physical stuff) is something anyone can do...as is bottoming. Relationship dynamics is another animal. If you're not geared to give orders, and aren't interested in doing so, ya'll need to talk. If you are, I suggest starting to read. Books like Ties that Bind ,Slavecraft and Dominant Loving pop into my head.

Master Fire

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RE: a confusing problem - 10/11/2006 3:31:43 PM

sophia37

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clarify please

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

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RE: a confusing problem - 10/11/2006 8:44:02 PM

DivaDuchess

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Joined: 8/17/2006
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Need ... More ... Data
Need ... More ... Data
Need ... More ... Data

1101 1010 1010 1100 ... 1001 1000 1110 1010 ... 1100 0110 0011 0110
1101 1010 1010 1100 ... 1001 1000 1110 1010 ... 1100 0110 0011 0110
1101 1010 1010 1100 ... 1001 1000 1110 1010 ... 1100 0110 0011 0110

*lol* ... Okay it's been a long day, yep ... a very long day *lol*.

< Message edited by DivaDuchess -- 10/11/2006 8:45:02 PM >

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RE: a confusing problem - 10/13/2006 12:48:58 AM

GothicSubMale

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Joined: 10/5/2006
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well moving into a role of a master figure is what i want but i'm not sure if i'm ready for it......i'm sorry for the lack or information, i'm not one that is to good with explaiing my problems......... at least not typeing them out anyway.

(in reply to DivaDuchess)

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RE: a confusing problem - 10/13/2006 6:42:47 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
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Well, if you want some answers, you're going to need to try to answer some of the questions posed.

Why are you not ready for it? Is it lack of experience or lack of desire? One is easily remedied. The other may be a recipe for disaster with both of you left unfulfilled.

Lack of experience can be remedied by, well, getting some. Educate yourself, read, get involved in your local community, observe, communicate, experiment.

Lack of desire is something that is not so easily remedied. Maybe if you try it you will like it and take to it. Maybe not. If you are wired as a submissive and desire to be dominated, putting on an act will leave you unfulfilled and possibly end up being resentful. You do yourself and your wife a disservice.

I would highly suggest doing some long, honest introspection of your needs, desires and motivation. I would suggest your wife do the same. Then, I would suggest the two of you, together, clearly and honestly communicate those to one another and come up with reasonable expectations and possible solutions that will suit both your needs.

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RE: a confusing problem - 10/13/2006 10:49:41 AM

LASub4Real

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Well, I personally don't buy into the "I'm wired this way or that way" apporach to BDSM. There are far too many Doms who used to be subs or Doms becoming subs/switches for this to be some sort of a genetic "wiring" issue. I'd say that it's more of a preference. If you know what you like and want as a sub, then you've got a pretty good start as to what you'd do as a Dom. Just tailor that to your wife's needs and personality and it will be a good beginning. Then read and chat with other Doms. The only issue that I can see is if you just happen to have a more submissive personality overall. then it might be more difficult to make definitive choices and stick by them, or to demand behavior until you get it. But I'm sure you'll do just fine. Especially because that's what you were after as an eventual goal in the first place.

LAsub

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

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Post #: 13