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CreativeDominant -> RE: Loving Your Property (10/13/2006 12:39:53 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WindOWillow
Creative,
I do understand why others, especially those who don't require love in order to submit/dominate another, have difficulty understanding people who do need a caring, loving, committed relationship prior to submitting.
It's cool. It's okay to have different ways of navigating this realm.
Ah but you see, you missed a very important part in my first post...I stated that I don't quite understand those that will not submit without being in love while at the same time stating that they have a need to submit. I need food, I need water, I need warmth, but I do not need to dominate.
I understand those who submit without being in love but having a loving connection with their dominant. I much prefer that to casual play. But...loving someone is not the same as being in love with them.
quote:
My personal internal make-up just doesn't allow me to become physically/emotionally intimate with a man unless there is mutual love. {/quote]
And as I said, I prefer that there be mutual love also. That does not equate to being in love.
quote:
Now, as far as having difficulty finding the "One". I don't think that submissives are holding out stubbornly sseeking some sort of fantasy, Fabio, romance book Dominant. Some people are more sensitive than others when it comes to who they wish to be vulnerable and open with. For me, that's the crux of submission. Being vulnerable. Trust. Giving of myself. {/quote]
Yes...and that kind of trust and vulnerability can, though not always, involve loving someone. That makes sense. I prefer it. But having been involved with a married submissive whose husband was well aware of our relationship and who had a submissive of his own, I can honestly say that she loved me...deeply (as I did her)...but did not and would not allow herself to fall IN love with me.
And I agree that not all submissives who hold out are being stubborn while waiting for Fabio or some other romantic ideal dominant. But there are some who are tying the submission to the feeling of being in love. There are dominants out there who want that also but many see it as "you don't get this unless you give me that" which tends to lead to some of the complaints of some of those waiting.
quote:
Personally, I'm more content not actualizing my submission rather than being with someone who is unable to love me and vice versa. It's the ultimate in unfulfillment.
That I understand. I think where the quibble comes in...if there is one...is a misconception between us as to whether or not loving someone and being loved by them is the same as being in love.
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