Jasmyn
Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
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We have to remember too that aftercare isnt a good definition either for aftercare itself is considered by many to be part of the scene and not seperate from it...but 'aftercare' as a label is divisive and makes the 'scene' and 'aftercare' two seperate entities despite many claims it is an important scene ingredient.
And I agree with you, it is important to know what likely aftercare will be required here. Think of what aftercare you are prepared and emotionally able to give? As an example I am not one for hugs and snuggles unless the slave/submissive is someone I care intimately for, as a friend or a lover...so tend to choose scenes and roles and submissives/slaves that as a general rule do not require moddycoddling type aftercare. But if a slave/sub needed it I would do it, and even be the reason why they needed it, as often in scenes I'll change track and take the scene down a whole other path and mentally prepare myself for the intensity of aftercare that maybe needed.
There was a scene I did at a public play party a few years back, had a wonderful time co-topping with a female friend a male slave who was bent over various apparatus and given the canning of his life. He was a slave use to having a fair bit of say in how he is caned, required pauses between strokes, number, etc...but I'm not one to play to a script and he knew this. He was also heavily into watersports, to the point leaving cups in bathrooms for Mistresses to avail themselves of to be left for him to drink. My co-topper was a fan of watersports and I was a fan of the cane and the match made in heaven began.
He was floating after his caning and desperately begged for my co-topper's sweet nectar so after they retired to a watersports area, I relaxed with the rest of the party goers...later my sceners joined us and the slave asked if he could get me anything. A round of coffees later he is sitting at my feet, holding my ashtray, lighting my cigarettes, massaging my feet and thanking us at regular intervals for our minesterings. The party continued and we later joined in again.
Months later I learned that since that scene it was rumoured I was a 'bad dominant' for not giving the man 'aftercare' and it struck me how easily people will miscontrue something to how they wish to perceive it based on either their own ignorance of what they are seeing or what they think should be happening.
If you are of the opinion aftercare is an intergral scene ingredient, then the 'aftercare' for this scene, wasnt in me hugging and moddycoddling him and making sure he was alright, but was for him to be allowed to *serve* at my feet and keeping him in the submissive headspace he was euphorically enjoying. Physically he was fine after the practical part of the scene and totally able to continue being of service, stopping the scene and getting him to revert back to just being 'joe blow' unowned sub at a play party would have being cruel.
He was not my slave but someone who had waited patiently for his moment to be a allowed to scene with me again, and b to serve me...he was gracious for the first, and estatic over the latter as it wasnt something I often allowed him to do.
I have found, especially with people playing casually (for want of a better term) at parties or with friends...that after the scene is over and all the required aftercare is given, the acknowledgement to serve the Dominant is not that freely given and many subs/slaves are left coping with having to come down from their subspace, when a an hour or two being of service was such an easy thing to give and could negate this.
But other than a general physical, emotional health checks and cares, no one person can state what or how aftercare in the scene should be done, or what constitutes 'aftercare' either.
Aftercare with a slave privately at home once was nothing more than allowing him to spend two solid hours under my computer table, naked under a mink blanket, at my feet, worshipping my boots while I chatted to friends online.
Also, aftercare as a stand alone entity, leaves it open for people to interpret that *care* or *lack of* during the scene can be fixed with this magical *aftercare* moment.
I love aftercare as a topic, I think it is such a misunderstood one at times.
Jasmyn
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RE: After care~ - 
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RE: After care~ - 
I agree with everybody here, but mostely with MistressAngelMist
. She has really said what I was looking for. 
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