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MasterGrim -> RE: Hello collarme forum (1/25/2005 11:18:42 AM)
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quote:
the only watersports i am into is my hot tub and the shower
hahah, yes the daily wash and the occasional visit to the beach or local pool is as far as it goes here too [:)]
quote:
Well is there some reason you are not active outside?
Umm good question.
It's been a few years since i've gone out to any bdsm/fetish clubs, this was before i was internet savvy so networking with others was'nt as easy and it was rather daunting turning up to a club as a non regular.
Anyways met my partner...fiance i should say... in a vanilla situation that grew into a kind of 24/7 bdsm relationship from open communication, her willingness to experiment and discovering a genuine love of pain/submission.
From what i experienced in the local scene is that it mainly consists of younger gothic people (fanboys & girls) who go to clubs for the sake of it/aesthetics to the older types who have a bit of a self righteous attitude as if they have some form of monopoly on bdsm and if you don't have their same idea's or whatnot and like to impart the "you dont belong here/your not worthy" sentiment on others, while im not making any gross generalizations and did meet and talk with some down to earth people i guess the best way to put it is i just felt i didnt belong there or fit in with scener types, but this goes across the board for how i am with anything or anyone whom lives by labels or takes themselves or what they do too seriously.
In general i see my/our sexuality as a personal thing, after the teenage testosterone burst wore off i've rarely even spoken to my closest friends about my vanilla exploits, now even at 30 years of age and an internet veteran it's still rare for me to discuss sexual things online with people i've gotten to know well that i've come across over the years from various non bdsm forums or chat.
But at the same time i guess im rather precautious as especially with something like bdsm, it can me misconstrued by ignorant uninformed people and can cause some serious family/social problems that i'd rather just avoid even seeing if they would manifest if certain family members and other people knew what we got upto behind closed doors.
I'm not ashamed of our alternative sexual lifestyle, my partner is fairly new to this but she is almost obsessed by it, she is like the proverbial kid in a candy store whenever we visit sex stores.. no shame whatsover... but as i said we both see it as a personal thing it's not something you advertise or wear like a badge like a religion or football team as a means of feeling special/sticking out in a crowd.
As you said this is a good way to start, better than a club one could say as they tend to be more meat markets and a stage for people playing dress ups.
This way is rather anonymous so i guess its easier to be honest and more forthright, we can reveal ourselves to who we want to in our own time.
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