RE: I'm Sorry...but I can't stop apologizing....

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RE: I'm Sorry...but I can't stop apologizing.... - 10/29/2006 4:19:48 AM

siamsa24

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I always thought that apologizing all the time came from working in customer service too much (everything is your fault, not the customer's)

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RE: I'm Sorry...but I can't stop apologizing.... - 10/29/2006 4:25:58 AM

DiurnalVampire

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From: Nashville, TN
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ACtually, it is fairly normal in conversation to say your sorry for just about everything that happens. When I lived in Ohio, if you didnt hear what someone said and wanted them to repeat yourself, the accepted way to let them know this was "sorry". Confused the hell out of me, since I have always only said I was sorry for two things. Things I screwed up or things I was sorry someone had to go through on their own. Beyond that I have trained myself out of the apologizing for breathing habit. As a Domme, I do want to at least note it is not simple a submissive thing. I know dominant men and women who did it for a while too, until they realized how ridiculous it sounded, and how weak it made them look. Ialways did point out when they said sorry that it was either something they had nothing to do with or something they couldnt have helped.
Perhaps that is what your Master is trying to train you out of. IF you only apologize whe it is a sincere apology, it wil make you sound a lot stronger in general. As far as I know, angel doesnt do this, but then again I havent had him in the situations it mightbe caled for.

My 2 slightly drunken cents,I hope they make sense to someone
DV

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VampiresLair

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RE: I'm Sorry...but I can't stop apologizing.... - 10/29/2006 5:54:39 AM

nomansdoormat

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Joined: 10/18/2006
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LOL sorry gypsy but that last line cracked me up, and this could so easily turn into a 3 stooges routine.

But i do know what you mean.

Just out of curiosity, i m wondering how many Dom\mes have sorry syndrome? or is it a purely submissive trait

edited to add that i just read diurnalvampires post that its not just a sub disease

Sirs dea

< Message edited by nomansdoormat -- 10/29/2006 5:57:17 AM >

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RE: I'm Sorry...but I can't stop apologizing.... - 10/29/2006 12:28:43 PM

slavejali

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quote:

Original Quote: juliaoceania
Like my Daddy says, if you are sorry, truly sorry, do not do that behavior again. People that apologize and then turn around and do it again, were they genuinely sorry?

Yeah Master says that too....I think that realisation would put the sorry thing into perspective for most people and stop them from obsessively saying it.

I think sometimes, with some things we just get into habits. Saying "sorry" all the time might just be like someone else who bites their nails, they are just acting unconsciously and outa habit.

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RE: I'm Sorry...but I can't stop apologizing.... - 10/30/2006 3:31:41 AM

julietsierra

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There is a dominant in my community who has an interesting theory about the words "I'm sorry." To her, they can represent kind of a daily affirmation - except in a negative fashion. To her, in effect, when we say "I'm sorry," we're affirming to ourselves without even realizing it that we are sorry individuals. Consequently, she will not allow anyone around her to use the words "I'm sorry." Whenever she hears those words, she'll correct us, saying something akin to "don't say those words my dear, You can apologize but you are not a sorry person."

I used to apologize for everything in sight as well. When I heard her say that though, it made sense. Additionally, since saying "I'm sorry" is a habit, instead of trying to get rid of the habit completely, it might help to replace the habit with something else. When you stop to change your verbage from "sorry" to "apologize," you'll build in time to control your impulse to say you're sorry. What ends up getting said then becomes more sincere and more personalized than the glib "I'm sorry."

Next time you find yourself dropping into the "I'm sorry" mode, try "I apologize." It's an interesting shift. "I'm sorry" makes the word "sorry" an adjective in which you are describing yourself (not a good thing if you think about it...are you really a sorry individual?) "I apologize" makes the word "apologize" a verb and tells of something you're doing, not who you are. This actually, makes more sense. You take responsibility for your actions with "I apologize," whereas with "I'm sorry," you, in effect, set yourself up for garnering sympathy.

Yes yes, I know... I have way too much time on my hands if I can sit around thinking about the ramifications of the differences in the words "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" but it is pretty interesting to me.

I don't always succeed with changing out "sorry" for "apologize," but my use of the words "I'm sorry" have lessened significantly.

Oh yes, along the way, I've also changed out "I'm sorry" for words of sympathy too. "I'm sorry" has become "oh, dear, I hope you feel better soon" and "Please accept my condolences" and "That's too bad!" and any myriad of other choices rather than the more easily said and perhaps less sincere, "I'm sorry."

juliet

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