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You Know You Are Too Old For BDSM When.....


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You Know You Are Too Old For BDSM When..... - 11/1/2006 8:09:00 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline
You know you're too old for bdsm....


1. You have a hard time finding leather Depends.

2. Your dentures come out with the ball gag.

3. Your most repeated scene is, "I've fallen and I
can't get up!"

4. A wax pour is what covers your cake once all the
candles are lit.

5. Breast bondage is when you've accidentally tucked
them into your waistband... again.

6. You find yourself saying things like, "In my day, we
didn't have no fancy store-bought toys. We had to walk
10 miles uphill in 8 feet of snow and cut down a tree
and make our own damn paddles before we could spank
somebody."

7. You keep tripping over the chain on the nipple
clamps when you walk.

8. Edge play involves your submissive pushing your
wheelchair too close to the curb.

9. You provoke Master to strap you knowing he will not
remember where he left his belt.

10. You crave suspension to relieve the bunions on your
feet.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: You Know You Are Too Old For BDSM When..... - 11/1/2006 8:12:25 AM   
dreamscape


Posts: 51
Joined: 4/24/2006
Status: offline
Snickers

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: You Know You Are Too Old For BDSM When..... - 11/1/2006 11:36:44 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
"See that Dungeon over there?  I remember when it was a field".
 
 
(good funny :)  I enjoyed it)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: You Know You Are Too Old For BDSM When..... - 11/1/2006 4:01:43 PM   
shadevarr


Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline
Gods, that was funny!

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: You Know You Are Too Old For BDSM When..... - 11/1/2006 4:33:31 PM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JerseyKrissi72

You know you're too old for bdsm....


1. You have a hard time finding leather Depends.

2. Your dentures come out with the ball gag.

3. Your most repeated scene is, "I've fallen and I
can't get up!"

4. A wax pour is what covers your cake once all the
candles are lit.

5. Breast bondage is when you've accidentally tucked
them into your waistband... again.

6. You find yourself saying things like, "In my day, we
didn't have no fancy store-bought toys. We had to walk
10 miles uphill in 8 feet of snow and cut down a tree
and make our own damn paddles before we could spank
somebody."

7. You keep tripping over the chain on the nipple
clamps when you walk.

8. Edge play involves your submissive pushing your
wheelchair too close to the curb.

9. You provoke Master to strap you knowing he will not
remember where he left his belt.

10. You crave suspension to relieve the bunions on your
feet.


Too funny.. I did a 'similiar' thread on this a few weeks back. Heres a few more for ya. LOL

You hold the paddle and say, "You're younger than me. ...back into the paddle ....HARD!"
 
Sensory deprivation is when your Dom hides your hearing aid batteries.
 
Your nipple clamps have training wheels.
 
Edge play is standing by the microwave with a pacemaker.
 
You can't tell the difference between your tattoos and your age spots.
 
You shout "One, two, three, CLEAR!" for electrical play.
 
Your idea of breath play is when your wheelchair runs over your oxygen hose.
 
Your idea of suspension is an UltraLift bra.


_____________________________

Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
Profile   Post #: 5
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