SirLordTrainer
Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004 From: Indy Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JerseyKrissi72 You know you're too old for bdsm.... 1. You have a hard time finding leather Depends. 2. Your dentures come out with the ball gag. 3. Your most repeated scene is, "I've fallen and I can't get up!" 4. A wax pour is what covers your cake once all the candles are lit. 5. Breast bondage is when you've accidentally tucked them into your waistband... again. 6. You find yourself saying things like, "In my day, we didn't have no fancy store-bought toys. We had to walk 10 miles uphill in 8 feet of snow and cut down a tree and make our own damn paddles before we could spank somebody." 7. You keep tripping over the chain on the nipple clamps when you walk. 8. Edge play involves your submissive pushing your wheelchair too close to the curb. 9. You provoke Master to strap you knowing he will not remember where he left his belt. 10. You crave suspension to relieve the bunions on your feet. Too funny.. I did a 'similiar' thread on this a few weeks back. Heres a few more for ya. LOL You hold the paddle and say, "You're younger than me. ...back into the paddle ....HARD!" Sensory deprivation is when your Dom hides your hearing aid batteries. Your nipple clamps have training wheels. Edge play is standing by the microwave with a pacemaker. You can't tell the difference between your tattoos and your age spots. You shout "One, two, three, CLEAR!" for electrical play. Your idea of breath play is when your wheelchair runs over your oxygen hose. Your idea of suspension is an UltraLift bra.
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Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.
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