A question for Pro and ex-Pro Dommes (Full Version)

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AlexAussieSub -> A question for Pro and ex-Pro Dommes (11/2/2006 6:22:24 AM)

There have been a few posts on this board lately about pro Dommes, and I have a question to ask about it that probably belongs as another topic: Out of the guys you dealt with, how many actually wanted to be a Sub for it's own sake (even if only for an hour or whatever), and how many thought of the whole thing in the same vein as going to a strip club, as in pay some money and do a bit of BDSM to try and get some vanilla action in return?

Anyone else who has an opinion on this feel free to comment as well.



MadamShy -> RE: A question for Pro and ex-Pro Dommes (11/2/2006 6:28:27 AM)

all My clients were different than My personal slaves ..you have a connection that is deeper with a Personal than a client ..

but all My clients were 100% BDSM there was No sexual expectations at all .. then again I only take paid clients when they either .. do not want a collar .. or are married and can't accept a collar ..maybe they want to tell Me what they want .. My clients do not get any sexual favors from Me or any other working Dominant in My Dungeon...





AlexAussieSub -> RE: A question for Pro and ex-Pro Dommes (11/2/2006 6:31:16 AM)

MadamShy,

I wasn't talking about what actually happened. I was talking about what the clients were aiming for.



MadamShy -> RE: A question for Pro and ex-Pro Dommes (11/2/2006 6:32:58 AM)

Never had a client Aim for anything But BDSM .. some wanted Anal strap on play... but thats as close to vanilla as it goes



WhiteRadiance -> RE: A question for Pro and ex-Pro Dommes (11/2/2006 8:19:24 AM)

Alex, the clients I see  want to serve as subs. I make it crystal clear from the beginning that there is no nudity on my part, and no sex.  They need to be commanded and disciplined, and that is what they get.  They may serve by kissing my feet, being used as furniture, cooking a meal, or running errands. Of course I will give them commands and tie them up, tease them and amuse myself at their expense. 
 
 I screen them to make certain that they are mentally compatible with what I expect and if they show signs of trying to dictate a session or express any desire to see me unclothed, putting their tounge on me, etc.. I do not bother with them.
 
But, sure.. there are a few who think they can say, "I'll pay you for this and that".. those are deleted.  They are not submissives.



quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexAussieSub

There have been a few posts on this board lately about pro Dommes, and I have a question to ask about it that probably belongs as another topic: Out of the guys you dealt with, how many actually wanted to be a Sub for it's own sake (even if only for an hour or whatever), and how many thought of the whole thing in the same vein as going to a strip club, as in pay some money and do a bit of BDSM to try and get some vanilla action in return?

Anyone else who has an opinion on this feel free to comment as well.



MistressTheaZ -> RE: A question for Pro and ex-Pro Dommes (11/2/2006 1:55:22 PM)

(fast reply)

I'd think the problem you speak of - those seeking kinky sexual activities or roleplayers with a vanilla swirl - is more prevalent at commercial Houses of Domination than for Independent ProDommes doing their own application process, screening and bookings.

Working for a house as a staff Mistress, one meets all whom book a consultation. While one's specialties and limits are advertised and (should be) given in detail to all inquiring callers, the nature of the commercial house does tend to result in drawing those looking for their fetishes and interests to be catered to. They do not seek to delve the depths into Domination, surrendering (even for an hour) to the controlled skill of their chosen Mistress. It can be likened more to a 'Burger King' mentality - Domination, your way...fallacy in and of itself, but true, unfortunately.

The only remedy I've found to this is to discuss in detail what brought them to the house, why they are interested in seeing Me, any and all common interests and applicable limits. From there, I may use their interests as a guide but I will expand upon those interests and weave a scene together to touch on a multi-faceted approach to both My interests and theirs, while still pressing those buttons, drawing them deeper into subspace and thus more likely to let go. 

Regarding those seeking more 'vanilla' sexual activities, it happens. There are plenty of people who are vanilla swirl, and I've seen them in the houses from time-to-time. These are the men who offer to pay for 'more', who call requesting topless or nude sessions, who ask the Mistresses if they are willing to do hotel calls for much more money. They often are displeased with sessions which are purely BDSM, but to that, I'd say they are welcome to leave and not return. *shrugs*

I do not let the burger king types seeking McSessions interfere with My enjoyment of the hundreds and hundreds of delightful subs I've seen over the years. They are out there, and are a real joy to meet and scene with, whether it be for an hour or an evening. [:D]

Best,

~Thea



sonny2000 -> RE: A question for Pro and ex-Pro Dommes (11/2/2006 2:05:21 PM)

The pro Domina I have worked with spot this in 1 second, it is nothing but troble so that is the end of it.



Jasmyn -> RE: A question for Pro and ex-Pro Dommes (11/2/2006 2:05:22 PM)

After providing pro sessions for a while you get to recognise who has a genuine need to submit and those who think it would be a funky thing to try.
 
When advertising in the paper I would get a lot of calls from men who had read the bondage aspects of my adverts saying how they'd always wanted to try that, thinking I would put them in bondage then have sex with them (despite my adverts often saying "no sex").   Most of the callers I'd refer to a local parlour but the odd one or two I would see as further into the phone call it would become apparent bondage was the kick not the sex.
 
 



MistressTheaZ -> RE: A question for Pro and ex-Pro Dommes (11/2/2006 2:55:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sonny2000

The pro Domina I have worked with spot this in 1 second, it is nothing but troble so that is the end of it.


It isn't that I (or those I have worked with in houses) can't spot it.

When one works for a commercial house, declining a session with someone, unless he is obviously going to be a problem (aggressively or otherwise), costs YOU a fine. One learns to work around and within constraints, even with do-me-bottoms. Such is the nature of the commercial environment.

Does management honor one's gut feeling? Yes. Is one permitted to walk from those seeking a brief foray into McSession territory? No. It comes with the territory.

JME.

~Thea



AlexAussieSub -> RE: A question for Pro and ex-Pro Dommes (11/3/2006 12:55:46 AM)

Thanks for the replies everyone[:)],

The reason I asked is because I watched Sin City the other day and one of the characters was a pro Domme. It seemed to me that the film portrayed her as just another kind of prostitute. There are probably similar things scattered throughout popular culture which would probably get some guys into things that they're probably too vanilla for.



DiannaVesta -> RE: A question for Pro and ex-Pro Dommes (11/3/2006 6:26:13 AM)

Every situation is different. Sometimes you have amazing chemistry with client. I’m not talking romantic but just a dynamic between you. D/s is like being gay; I know when I come in contact with a truly submissive person. I have been at this a very long time and you can just tell. A good portion of my clients were not really submissive but enjoyed being submissive. Every now and then one slips in and you win him hook, line and sinker.
  Many of my slaves started off as clients.



Arpig -> RE: A question for Pro and ex-Pro Dommes (11/3/2006 6:38:50 AM)

quote:

some wanted Anal strap on play... but thats as close to vanilla as it goes

That's about as vanilla as gets alright[;)]



MisPandora -> RE: A question for Pro and ex-Pro Dommes (11/3/2006 7:00:49 AM)

Retired View:  I'd say about 10% of my clients were seeking your suggestion of "trying to get something elsewhere", however, they weren't getting it from me!

I was very fortunate to have a client base who were for the most part:
-- respectful and submissive
-- submissive to their desires/fetishes and therefore, willing to yield to my control/direction
-- trusted me enough to do what I wanted and they'd enjoy the ride, whatever it was
Or,
-- didn't know enough to have a say one way or the other!

I got alot of either brand new explorers or guys who were really experienced, and rarely anyone inbetween.  At least one of those really experienced and cool former clients (now friend) is here on the boards!



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