RE: Definition of a Dom and a Sub

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RE: Definition of a Dom and a Sub - 11/3/2006 7:27:32 PM

AlexAussieSub

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I would say that a set of genes exists that can cause men to be gay or Subs or both depending on their life experiences rather than one causing the other. But like I said before the gay world is too diverse for one set of genes or socialiasation process to explain why everyone there is the way they are.

Re: what you said about "forced exploration". I would contend that even once you include all the closet cases the ratio of bi/gay to straight men across society would be less than 40:150, which is probably an underestimate given that a lot of gay Subs will look for Doms on gay BDSM websites.

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RE: Definition of a Dom and a Sub - 11/4/2006 10:49:09 PM

sweetnsexysub74

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Joined: 11/1/2006
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hi there...i am wondering what makes a difference between a dom/boyfriend or a husband...and what is the difference between a sub-wife-girlfriend...write me back and explain the answer if you think you know the answer...

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RE: Definition of a Dom and a Sub - 11/4/2006 11:54:34 PM

juliaoceania

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Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

What makes a Dom different from a boyfriend/husband, and a female Sub different from a girlfriend/wife? Is it just that you are explicit about what vanilla chemistry seems to be about? Do you have a theory like mine that provides for a difference? Do you disagree with what I said about the vanilla world

There maybe little difference between a dom/sub relationship and a traditional marriage. I do not know if this can be answered really

I can tell you the difference between this dynamic and other relationships... there is no power struggle on an unconscience level between us in my opinion. He has the power in our relationship to control all the shots, I gave that to him and he uses it as he sees fit. My vanilla relationships were not like this even though I wanted them to be.

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RE: Definition of a Dom and a Sub - 12/1/2006 8:30:12 AM

AGORANTE

Posts: 30
Joined: 11/22/2006
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quote:

The people that are different are probably like this for very similar reasons that people become gay or lesbian.

No. No. No.

Male dominance, including beating the female, is extremely common among our closest relatives the great apes and many infra-primate species. There are at least two dozen mammal species in which the female must be in pain to sucessfully mate. The female domestic cat for example only ovulates with pain. Dominance and pain are an absolute requirement for the continuation of many species. Nature smiles on D/s.

Male homosexuality on the other hand is not natural in the same sense at all. It appears to be a disease of sheep. Look up the writings of Greg Cochren. Simon McVey found several years ago that there are nuclei in the hypothalmus that are large in hetrosexual men but small in females and exclusively homosexual men. The exact same patern is found in sheep and only sheep. There are rams who will only mount other rams. Contrary to the gay propoganda agenda, this behavior - exclusive preference of some males for the same sex - is not found in nature except in man and sheep. Casual homosexuality on the other hand is quite common everywhere - in prisons, in ancient Greece, and in the monkey house.

There will probably be no exclusively homosexual men in the near future. Perhaps the sheep theory is wrong but whatever the cause, very soon the biology of male homosexuality will be understood. After understanding, comes control. As soon as there is a pre-natal test for homosexuality in a society like ours that allows abortion, there won't be very many gay boy babies born.

Gay men should have full civil rights. They should have equal access to resources and institutions. They should even be cherished because they are among the last of their kind.

(in reply to Lashra)

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RE: Definition of a Dom and a Sub - 12/1/2006 8:48:23 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AGORANTE
There will probably be no exclusively homosexual men in the near future. Perhaps the sheep theory is wrong but whatever the cause, very soon the biology of male homosexuality will be understood. After understanding, comes control. As soon as there is a pre-natal test for homosexuality in a society like ours that allows abortion, there won't be very many gay boy babies born.

Gay men should have full civil rights. They should have equal access to resources and institutions. They should even be cherished because they are among the last of their kind.

Dominant personalities may be quite common- dominant orientations in an authority based relationship are not so much.

There's a difference between being "dominant" and "a dominant."

And I disagree with your assessment of the future of genetic selection processes.

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RE: Definition of a Dom and a Sub - 12/1/2006 8:56:22 AM

MstrssPassion

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its not just sheep

http://www.nhm.uio.no/againstnature/index.html

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RE: Definition of a Dom and a Sub - 12/3/2006 6:43:11 PM

MistressMoxie

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Always had a bit of an issue with the whole "Western society" ideal of a little sweet submissive woman.... at least, in regards to me. But I think that lots of subbie women would disagree. I think it's less of a societal norm than it is a personal preference. There's always been dominant women, and transversely, submissive women. And the same for men.

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RE: Definition of a Dom and a Sub - 12/3/2006 7:34:55 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

I'm actually amazed that no one's asked this before.

It's in the index finger.

They're longer in Doms and female subs.

Also, they both tend to drink mocha's as opposed to single mochachino's.

That is also true of the middle toe. If it's longer than the rest.. you're a Dominant. (I prefer to go by penis size, however)

As far as the roles go.. I believe it's more an issue of a person's life situation that necessitates the degree of domance or submission.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 12/3/2006 7:36:43 PM >

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RE: Definition of a Dom and a Sub - 12/4/2006 12:30:55 AM

MmakeMme

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I am extremely dominant in my vanilla world. My husband is very submissive, and I have a high pressure career that demands I keep my balls tuned properly ... but that is not who I am, which keeps me off-balance. It is only when I submit that I find any peace or serenity.

There is a willful and constant power exchange in the Dom / Master and sub / slave dynamic. While vanilla relationships do have power exchanges, it is a far more democratic process.

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RE: Definition of a Dom and a Sub - 12/4/2006 7:40:49 AM

desoutter

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Joined: 3/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexAussieSub

Even though feminism has changed a lot in areas like the workplace, to me it still seems that when it comes to sex and relationships in the vanilla world, even in Western society men are still dominant and women are still submissive. The people that are different are probably like this for very similar reasons that people become gay or lesbian. This necessitates a scene for, and provides definitions for, Dommes and male Subs.

What makes a Dom different from a boyfriend/husband, and a female Sub different from a girlfriend/wife? Is it just that you are explicit about what vanilla chemistry seems to be about? Do you have a theory like mine that provides for a difference? Do you disagree with what I said about the vanilla world?

Female Subs will probably also have interesting ideas on this subject, and anyone else should feel free to comment too.

I have to say - I do not agree with any part of the above - Im not angry or anything - just stating my opinion...
I travel quite a bit and there may be some truth to your statement above, in some parts of the world - (example in Malaysia, when a woman brought my tea to me, in the hotel lobby, she always kept her head lower than mine... even if I was sitting) strange...
However in the states I have seen both, equally - relationships where woman are the dominant and men are quite submissive (vanilla world). Men who are dominant and woman submissive.

On the whole I feel woman have a place in the world - as equals - more now than ever before... (this statement is not too offensive I hope)

Also - I feel - people do not "become" gay or lesbian.... you either are... or you arent...

Also - there is NO difference between a Dom and a husband/boyfriend... I know many Doms who are boyfriends and husbands... and many woman are Doms / wives / girlfriends....

I think your missing a few pieces of the puzzle here... Noone 'becomes' what they are not... I am not a rocket engineer because I dont have the smarts.... I just dont want to design rockets... I am a Dom, not because I want to be - I just am...

A human being is what it is... it doesnt change, it doesnt become what it is not meant to become... this isnt just objectification either... human beings are animals / period. Sophisticated I'll grant you but we are still just animals in the kingdom... what drives an animal? - I need to eat... I need to sleep... I need to reproduce...
As an animal you either survive... or you die...

Now in our society - a lot of these needs are givin to us... I need to eat - NO PROBLEM... I need to reproduce - NO PROBLEM... when everything is done for you, one tends to become a little sidetracked... what to do with all this time on my hands when Im not hunting or looking for a way to survive?
basketball
stock trader
work at the local Target
go clubbing
BDSM
rocket scientist

hey - however you define your life is entirely up to you - you know who you are better than anyone else... but in the immortal words of Robert Johnson... "dust my broom..."

Holy cow! Now that was some professional rambling...
desoutter

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