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how to get over a Master that you had totally submitted... - 4/29/2004 1:17:10 PM

sweetobsession

Posts: 29
Joined: 4/29/2004
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i lost my Master a few months ago and the pain seems so great everyday, and i was wondering how do i overcome this and move on to seek another Master? Every Master i come across i compare to my old Master and well right now i am just in alot of pain and i want to seek out a new Master and get over my old Master just hav no idea on where to start can you help me please?

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RE: how to get over a Master that you had totally submi... - 4/29/2004 1:28:52 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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quote:

i lost my Master a few months ago and the pain seems so great everyday, and i was wondering how do i overcome this and move on to seek another Master? Every Master i come across i compare to my old Master and well right now i am just in alot of pain and i want to seek out a new Master and get over my old Master just hav no idea on where to start can you help me please?

I'm so sorry for your loss sweetobsession. Rain--where are you?? Rain just went through this, maybe she can help you.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

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RE: how to get over a Master that you had totally submi... - 4/29/2004 1:38:49 PM

GoddessMarissa

Posts: 247
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Las Vegas NV
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Right now it might be best to focus on your life and take your time moving into a new relationship. If you get into a new relationship try not to carry bagagge into it. Focusing on what's going on in your life right now might be the cure. It always seems like when your not looking for anyone you turn around and there he is.

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RE: how to get over a Master that you had totally submi... - 4/29/2004 1:40:57 PM

MistressKiss

Posts: 295
Joined: 1/1/2004
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My first suggestion is to stop looking for another Master right away. It doesn't work to heal the pain of losing a relationship under someone else's crop. Give yourself time to work through it, as you would any loss. Recognize that dealing with loss comes in stages. Allow yourself to work through them and once you are ready, then seek another Master. He will come when you least expect it. Trying to find one right now is not a good idea because you will compare him to the other Master - that is proof that the pain isn't healed. Also, it isn't fair to the new one(s) that you are still yearning for someone else. Allow time to heal you and move on...even if it is a slow process.

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RE: how to get over a Master that you had totally submi... - 4/29/2004 2:08:48 PM

sweetobsession

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Thank you so much for your comments it is just so hard and at times i feel so alone

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RE: how to get over a Master that you had totally submi... - 4/29/2004 3:41:26 PM

LanceLake

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Portland, OR
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and this is why I didn't offer you a training collar today. :)

Take your time and allow yourself time to heal. It will be best for all and if the Trainer is the right one for you, he/she will still be there when you come back to him/her asking for their collar.

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RE: how to get over a Master that you had totally submi... - 4/29/2004 7:07:45 PM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I might one day have something constructive to say. Untill then I can offer only sympathy instead of advice. From what I've heard it is best to take time.

Of course that is hear say.

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When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

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RE: how to get over a Master that you had totally submi... - 4/29/2004 7:39:14 PM

sub4hire

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Everyone gave you excellent advice. Sometimes we need to take the time and reflect. I used to do this years ago. I'd sit outside in silence. Watch nature, listen to the bird sing. I had my best revelations in life that way.

We need time to heal. By simply replacing your Master you will have a rebound Master.
Not good either. It would be best to heal first then find the right Master for you. That way you can grow old with him.

I wish you all the luck.

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RE: how to get over a Master that you had totally submi... - 4/29/2004 9:30:52 PM

sweetobsession

Posts: 29
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it's like my slave side is still acting and seeking a Master but at the same time i see everyone's point and the vanilla side of me is trying to do the recooperating which makes it very difficult kinda like your torn in two at times

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RE: how to get over a Master that you had totally submi... - 4/30/2004 5:22:49 AM

~lisa~

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/30/2004
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i was with my first master for only 2 yrs, but have loved him unconditionally for over 20, i will always love him for giving me myself.
in the years since we parted, i have found one who came close to making me feel the way my first did, and we have now parted as well.
time is a great healer ...

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RE: how to get over a Master that you had totally submi... - 4/30/2004 10:03:15 AM

LadyBeckett

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetobsession

it's like my slave side is still acting and seeking a Master but at the same time i see everyone's point and the vanilla side of me is trying to do the recooperating which makes it very difficult kinda like your torn in two at times

First I want to compliment you on that beautiful mane of red hair! Oh my my!

I read the posts from the beginning, and if it was said how you lost your Master I didn't see it. Regardless, he is lost to you and that is the point, isn't it? From that point I will make this point...We move forward always. Always. Time moves forward, and we move with it. Whether we like it or not, we are always in motion. We remember those we love (note that is in present tense, not past) always, and they maintain that special place that is always theirs within us, but we move forward.

As we do that, we include others in that motion. That is "Life". Ah, and we are living, aren't we? Aye, we are. So be alive, and be aware of what you need to live well, full, happy, etc. Do this at your own pace and in a way that is right and comfortable for you.

When you meet someone that you click with you are going to do a bit of comparing in your mind at first, but that will pass as you get to know your new Master and develop the relationship. So don't be overmuch concerned with that. You know how people say "Just breathe"? Well...Just breathe! It is all good.

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"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

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RE: how to get over a Master that you had totally submi... - 4/30/2004 10:47:48 AM

feline

Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
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It takes time. The length varies with each person. And i will not tell you it will be easy, because it won't. But you must give yourself time to heal or you do your next Master a great injustice. Please don't feel alone, we are all here for you. i wish you the best. Feel free to message me should you need to talk.

Take care,