"Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry

"Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (Full Version)

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TreSwank -> "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 12:35:17 PM)
Employment at a local Italian eatery afforded Yours Truly a rare opportunity to whet his wicked good customer-service skills to a Ginsu-like efficiency and precision......the chance to give the food-service monster a "complimentary" Sicilian-style handjob, worthy of a front-page write-up in any reputable culinary review. Oh, what fine rewards TreSwank would reap from treating every unworthy cum-stain in a deferential manner, befitting a sultan with exorbitant riches and an overcrowded harem. "Doth thy shoat of a wife requireth more olive dip, Kind and Benevolent Sir? Perhaps a little after-dinner fellatio underneath thine table might appease thee to consider a meager tip, O Lord ?" I hated my customers......hated ALL of them with the incandescent, molten-lava rage that a backwoods white supremacist harbors for those gosh-darned "mud-races". If they left a shitty tip, I would hope and pray that they'd be the "unfortunate" victims of a bizarre traffic fatality on the way home. I was a twenty-one year old food-service WHORE, giving myself away indiscriminantly.....my smiles.....my empathy......my poised "fine dining" elegance.......all for a bleak purgatory that reeked of calamari appetizers and pasta fagioli. Every night, I felt like one of those "Lifetime" channel rape victims, who would scrub themselves to a bloody pulp in the shower, only to find that the nastiness wasn't something that could be washed away or absolved with soap and water...it was internalized. Never again, will I work in the food-service industry. I would rather prostitute my 22-year old body at a Nevada truck stop for a bag of Mexican shwag.

Aileen68 -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 1:10:45 PM)
Well if it's any consolation...I love my pizza delivery boy. I tip very well.

cuddleheart50 -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 1:22:48 PM)
Thanks for the laugh Tre...that was really funny! [:D]

TreSwank -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 1:26:54 PM)
Yeah......I tried my Boy-Scout best to think of something worthwhile to talk about while I was lookin' at the forums, but instead I posted this discursive garbage, similar to the other tidbits of random, left field trash that I litter the CollarMe forums with on a semi-regular basis.. It really says something about the emotional state of today's young adults. Jeepers creepers.

topcat -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 1:29:16 PM)
It's OK- it's not your fault- you are the victim here. It's brave and touching that you have the strength to speak out about this, that it may serve as an example, and a warning to others

Aileen68 -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 1:29:33 PM)
At least you spell out all of your words.

TreSwank -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 1:35:36 PM)
Like, wouldn't it be kind of funny if a waiter (male) actually offered a table a "compensation" blowjob if the customer complained about the service or the food? "Well sir, I'm very sorry that your steak was undercooked, but I WILL offer to stuff all five breath-taking inches of your bulbous, throbbing man-gristle into my eager mouth just to call it "even". Trust me, sir....my boss tells me that I give SUPERB head. (In a whispered, hushed tone of voice) I get him off EVERY time. " God, I'm such a flake. I'm surprised that the state of Connecticut hasn't fucking deported me back to the Carolinas yet. It'll happen.............just give it some time.

spankmepink11 -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 1:51:23 PM)
So many worthwhile topics already out there...why change what works..for you Sometimes...a juicy shot of the irreverant TreSwank is just the ticket. [;)] ...ever see the movie "Waiting"?

Aileen68 -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 2:06:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TreSwank Like, wouldn't it be kind of funny if a waiter (male) actually offered a table a "compensation" blowjob if the customer complained about the service or the food? "Well sir, I'm very sorry that your steak was undercooked, but I WILL offer to stuff all five breath-taking inches of your bulbous, throbbing man-gristle into my eager mouth just to call it "even". Trust me, sir....my boss tells me that I give SUPERB head. (In a whispered, hushed tone of voice) I get him off EVERY time. " God, I'm such a flake. I'm surprised that the state of Connecticut hasn't fucking deported me back to the Carolinas yet. It'll happen.............just give it some time. Tre are you trying to tell us all something here? Who knew that you blew.

TreSwank -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 2:07:59 PM)
Okay Aileen68, I'll give you some complimentary cunnilingus, but only if you promise me that we can cuddle and talk about "emotions and stuff" afterwards.

Aileen68 -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 2:09:11 PM)
People cuddle and talk afterwards?

TreSwank -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 2:10:20 PM)
*Crying Aileen, it's like I don't even know who you are anymore! (Runs and locks himself in the bedroom)

Aileen68 -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 2:13:40 PM)
laughing Yeah I can be a cold hearted bitch at times.

mnottertail -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 2:14:07 PM)
Pasta EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE fagioli..............I rather suspect that cunninglus or fellatio is as close as you are ever going to get to pronouncing italian properly...... Just say Pasta Fazool, and tell them to kiss your ass....... LOL, Ron

Aileen68 -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 2:16:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Pasta EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE fagioli.............. I made that for dinner the other night. You would have been proud.

TreSwank -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 2:18:26 PM)
On our menus, it was improperly listed as "pasta FAGOLI". I always got a kick out of that, and liked to enunciate every syllable (not to the customers) for the sheer pleasure of pointing out the error to the Mexicans in the kitchen. Yes, indeed. The line cooks in an Italian fine-dining establishment were MEXICANS, like most restaurants in Connecticut. I love Mexicans, because they always gawked at the little "affluent" white girls to whom the owner would give tours of his restaurant, and made them feel uncomfortable as SHIT. Hell............if I had to be a person of Hispanic descent, I'd be a Mexican. Not a dignified, well-off Mexican, but a spaghetti-western, gold-toothed, pistol-shootin', tequila-slammin' chicano from hell.

mnottertail -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 2:20:31 PM)
I like the way you make it, thanks for the recipie, perhaps you can trade italian lessons for the cunninglus and if you say it sweetly and seductively enough, Tre could be fooled into believing that you are so carried away that you are speaking in tongues about emotions and stuff............. Ron

Aileen68 -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 2:25:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail I like the way you make it, thanks for the recipie, perhaps you can trade italian lessons for the cunninglus and if you say it sweetly and seductively enough, Tre could be fooled into believing that you are so carried away that you are speaking in tongues about emotions and stuff............. Ron That was my moms recipe. I never get so carried away that I get mushy. Not for ANYBODY.

mnottertail -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 2:28:31 PM)
Tell them little non-greencarders that it is Garcia Y Vega.........in cigars Yo Yo Yo dawg, what up G?........in the spirit of brotherhood and Pasta e fagioli.........in the pot Wanna hear that poppin' sound baybe!!! Back by the stove here, you know the one, pedro--- the one that sounds like your head commin out your ass!!!!! Ron............LOLOLOL. (I had my day slingin' hash, but not at any place that the misspelling could be more than ketchup or catsup)

IndigoMouse -> RE: "Fear and Loathing" in the Food Service Industry (11/4/2006 2:40:29 PM)
i think i'm insane, i'm choosing to go into the food service industry, at the tender age of 18 no less, oh well, at least i'm not in any way unrealistic in my expectations. i KNOW it's going to be hard, and badly paid, and crap hours...and yet i'm still going to enjoy it!

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