WTF are they thinking?

WTF are they thinking? (Full Version)

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DiurnalVampire -> WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 8:32:59 PM)
Have you ever gotten a phone call from someone and wondered what in hells name they were thinking calling you about a certain subject? My most recent "WTF" moment went as follows. I'll include al the TMI detail becasue it makes for good reading. Ive been chucling about this for a day and a half. My exhusband called me at work yesterday. I work for Walgreens drug store and he said he needed to ask me about a product he was looking for. It seems that he and his new girlfriend are finally having sex now that he proposed to her (keep in mind he and I have only been divorced since January '06). She insists on using protection, and he was looking for a specific brand of condom. I told him Id look it up, but the name didnt sound familiar and since I was the inventory management cordinator, if I didnt know it, we probably didnt stock it. I was right, we didnt. Damn, he says, I guess I have to just order them from online, he had to special order those since they were the only ones SMALL enough not to fall off during sex! I nearly spit my coffee across the office when he told me that. Now, explain to me, what would possess my exhusband to call me at work, ask give me this fuill story and then proceed to explain to me why he needed those specific ones. All he needed to actualy know from me was if we carried his brand. Calling and admitting to someone, even if I was his ex, that you needed special order small condoms is one thing, but doing it while they are at work? Im sorry, I found this so funny I had to share. I do feel bad for him, I am sure its rather humiliating to have to go through al that trouble. However, being that we are newly divorced and he is already with someone new, caling ME and admitting this is just aweful. He has had some issue about needing to tel me random things I could have lived without knowing. Anyone else ever have moments like this? Someone caling and teling them things they realy didnt need to know, for nearly no reason? DV

MsOpal -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 8:43:19 PM)
well it IS a funny story but I would bet you that he was expecting you to say something like ... oh no sweetie, you really aren;t THAT small, and what you might lack in size you more than make up for in talent ... your new fiance is in for such a treat!!!

Daddysredhead -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 8:56:16 PM)
raises hand, ME! Last night, a dear friend was IM'ing me about her post-gyno surgery and about having to wear pads for the next month, etc. and blood clots and leakage, and... and... icky stuff that made my skin crawl, way too many details for me. [:'(] I wrote back, "so... how's your house cleaning coming along?" She replied, "TMI?" I wrote back, "Uh... yeah, ya' think?" Also, last Friday, my last day of work at that office, one of the drivers came up to me and asked, "Today is your last day? No more after today?" I replied, "Yep, this is it." He said, "OK, then I feel all right asking you this. Just how big are your tits anyway? Everyday I look at them and think 'gimme a slab of bacon and those tits and I'm gonna die a happy man." After a quick retrieval of my jaw from the floor, I said, "Well, as to their size, just ask Big Daddy, He knows, and I'm sure He'd love to know that you ogle me everyday. As for the slab of bacon, I just can't help you there." I thought that should be enough... surely. He then goes to tell me that he is going commando and that being close enough to smell the perfume I was wearing was enough to make his "little man" dance in his pants. All I could do at that point was laugh hysterically. Does anyone see the sign on my forehead or my back that says "Say Anything To Me?" [:D]

juliaoceania -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 9:16:26 PM)
The first time my sister went to visit her new brother and sister inlaw as a newly wed she was in for a treat. Her new sister inlaw kept squirming in her chair like a fidgety child with ants in her pants. A little while into the visit her new husband's brother's wife announces to the room "I have a yeast infection and it just won't stop itching!". My sister still jokes about this to me...

Lordandmaster -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 9:27:45 PM)
I've never understood this, but many men with little penises seem overwhelmed by some bizarre need to inform women of their size.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 9:28:22 PM)
Oh, no MsOpal, he knows better. I think he just wasnt realy putting a lot of thought into what was coming out of his mouth. I am glad to see I am not the only one who has a habit of recieving TMI DV

mnottertail -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 9:31:23 PM)
I just kinda think that if I reeled this monster out, and said feast your eyes on this motherfucker girls, that it wouldn't get pages of women mothering me as if I said this thing is kinda little and pathetic..... Maybe it is just my take on life, and no one else has had the same experience. Rpm

DiurnalVampire -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 9:47:13 PM)
Either way, be it gargantuan and worthy of Guinness documentation or so tiny you need a microscope and tweezers to get yourself off... dont call me at work and tell me about it! Besides, we were married for a year and a half, I already knew how big he was its not like it was news to me. I just keep thinking, poor girl, he is her first, she doesnt know what shes mising... DV

mnottertail -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 9:50:10 PM)
Oh, GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lady, if you were mine, I would call you at all hours of the day and not have discussions about my little peener.........you dress sharp.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 9:52:34 PM)
Well, thank you. But I am not his. I WAS but that ended when he wanted me to be the god submissive little wife. Let him call his new gf and complain about his x-small condom buying habits

Lordandmaster -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 10:02:53 PM)
Guys, just show your cocks proudly (at the APPROPRIATE times), and let the members do what they do. Men are obsessed with the size of their cocks, and it's a waste of time. Women were put on earth to love men, not to measure their penises.

mnottertail -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 10:10:08 PM)
God, I feel so cheap, I thought it was about the peener. So a man that is capable of thought can snag some pussy? Review my profile, Lam; where all do I lack? LOL, Ron

Lordandmaster -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 10:13:09 PM)
Of course, the above was easy for me to say, because I happen to be blessed with an extraordinary one... But still.

Emperor1956 -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 10:16:33 PM)
DV, not to get too psychoanalytical on your lovely butt, but in fact an ex-husband of less than 11 months calling to let you know he's fucking his new sweety has more levels of manipulation in it than parfaits got layers. And that's without the peenie size issue. Have you considered call blocking, or caller ID? And I don't know why, but women always seem compelled to share the status of their pooters with the general public...be it yeast infections, post surgical care, how much they are bleeding (and whether their protection has wings on it) or just that they don't feel "totally fresh" without using some expensive scented denatured alcohol down there. This probably should go in the "What I know about Men" thread, but I have NEVER had a buddy come up to me and confide that there are days that he just doesn't feel totally fresh down there. E

mnottertail -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 10:16:56 PM)
Il Presidente, has been spoken in hushed tones... But is it really Cuban, or a knockoff? And is it still as hard as when Castro was at the height of his power? Or, like Raul, are you seconding the principal in a time of woe? Che

imtempting -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 10:17:39 PM)
I dont understand how after all this time on earth your ex husband does not know where to buy them from..

Lordandmaster -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 10:18:45 PM)
That's El Presidente, dicktator of the Banana Republic.

mnottertail -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 10:22:23 PM)
Habeneros? You women will be the death of all men, we are talking about the relative merits of cigars and it's all about the dick to you, ain't it? Senor Wencas All rght? So.......right!!

Emperor1956 -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 10:32:02 PM)
Well I favor the Toro, you know, the slightly longer Rothschild with a nice thick ring size? Of course, Rothschild would be a good fit, too...and just like the cigar, the tip is pre cut. Smoke 'em if you got 'em, boys. E. Edited to add: Ron, buddy...do you have days when you just don't feel totally fresh down there?

DiurnalVampire -> RE: WTF are they thinking? (11/4/2006 10:37:44 PM)
Oh, I knew they were living together and it as a matter of time before they started sleeping together. No big surprise there. He has always caled me to ask me if we stocked tings at the stre before dragging his lazy ass down and looking himself. Thats nothing new so I didnt really think anything of it. He buys them online, and until her he never had to buy them before. at least thats what he says. All I know is that I really could have lived without the announcement at work. I already knew he was small, and that he was sleeping around since we divorced (hell the man didnt thinkn the hookers he was with when we were married was cheating... so nothing like that bothers me now) I guess its ore the need to give someone TMI when you know its an innapropriate time. OR worse, if you dont realize its info they dont need or want. I cant tell with my ex.

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