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First Meeting and Communication - 11/4/2006 8:53:21 PM   
kirkzhom


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		Hello,  I am a submissive and will be meeting for the first time in person tomorrow one that I hope upon hope will become my Mistress.  I am torn between the desire to answer all questions she might put to me honestly and the corresponding desire to have her approve of me.  Particularly because I have such limited experience, I am curious whether You would find it more irritating to hear "Mistress, I don't know" in response to multiple inquiries or to discover later that your submissive might have been guessing what he/she thought you wanted them to say.  From the perspective of a sub, and withouth seeming too fawning, we are a dime a dozen and so, if you will allow me, it is not so easy as to say "just be honest and find a Mistress that is right for you".  This is an opportunity I do not want to second guess.  Thank you.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/4/2006 8:57:13 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		Be honest.  There is nothing wrong with saying "that activity intrigues (or squicks) me but I have no real experience with it.  I would like to try it (I don't think I am ready for that) and experiment but I honestly can not tell you how I would react".


_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/4/2006 8:57:22 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I prefer to hear I dont know.  Personally, I hear it all the time.  I know my little one is inexperienced and hasnt tried most of what he thinks he will like. I prefer him telling me he doesnt know what he wants, doesnt know how he'll react or dosent know what to do than have him guess and screw it up.  Honesty is best.  Besides, if you make it up, she'll find out eventually.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/4/2006 8:57:54 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		well, congratulations and i hope your first meeting goes well. you've achieved something in such a short time that i have not been able to do in the 10+ years i've been in the lifestyle. i sincerely hope you don't get stood up.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to kirkzhom)
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RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/4/2006 9:00:19 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/4/2006 9:03:03 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		And dont mind Michael, hes our resident Grumpy Bear lately.
Good luck with your meeting

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/4/2006 9:05:39 PM   
kirkzhom


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		Ms.Kat, thank you, and your signature is just priceless.
D.V., thank you as well.  Your "Beside if you make it up ..." brings to mind an even worse possibility down the road.  I had not considered that.
michael, thank you.  I do not believe She will stand me up but that does not mean that she will not consider me unworthy and I appreciate your reminder of that.
I am not going to sleep a wink.

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/4/2006 9:07:44 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		Oh no, you must.  Can't have you all puffy eyed and not alert ;)

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/4/2006 9:15:37 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Just relax and enjoy the meeting.  Someone who doesnt apear on edge is always far more appealing than someone who is visibly on pins and nedles.


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/5/2006 3:03:48 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings

to me it does not matter you personaitly is what counts do you be so worried that she will find you displeasing becasue you are not as experinced as some other, i think it is sweet and shy that comes to me most, she has spoke to you before and i am sure you have told her your not experince and have limit knownlegde right? then go and get your mistress she will like you you talk before so do not worry

good luck i wish you well

mons

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/5/2006 8:00:32 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		I like an honest conversation.  If I know you're new, I know the answers will be "I dunno" much of the time.  I'm ok with that.  If I'm flying hypothetical things past you, I'm doing it so I can be observing body language, uneasiness and other non-verbal clues that will tell me whether something is bad-bad, bad-maybe, or maybe-ok.   A wise and experienced domina will not be offended or even fussed with "I dunno" answers, so long as it's done with honesty and genuine desire to know and learn.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/5/2006 8:14:26 AM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		You've already received the best advice here that I could offer, too.  Be honest. 

She probably knows you're inexperienced and would hopefully much rather have an honest answer. 

I always appreciate an occasional :"I'd be happy to try that if it pleases You, Ma'am", too, as long as it doesn't get to be a nauseatingly compliant catch all answer to everything. 

Congratulations and good luck with your meeting.

Let us know how it goes.

TexasMaam

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 11/5/2006 8:18:36 AM >

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/5/2006 11:55:53 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Honesty. If you try to answer the way she wants, you're doing yourself a disservice because that might not be who you truly are. Some will see that as lying, too.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/5/2006 1:06:59 PM   
kirkzhom


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you all for all of the advice.  The concensus is clear.  I plan to be open, honest, and focus on her, which is what this is about ...  I shall also try not to throw up between here and her front door. 

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/5/2006 2:39:53 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kirkzhom
I shall also try not to throw up between here and her front door. 

Throwing up on her (or her front door) is generally frowned upon, unless she's consented to roman showers.  In the infinite words of Hannibal Lecter, "Bon Appetit!"

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/5/2006 3:06:09 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		Just smile and nod. 



_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/5/2006 4:41:49 PM   
kirkzhom


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		Mistresses, thank you all for your advice and input.  In the end, it was a non-issue.  Her quiet power.  There are not words.   I could not have told her anything but the truth if I had wanted to do otherwise.  In fact we discussed this posting and your spot on recommendations.  Her questions, like a laser, also addressed everything that I had wanted to bring up  - that I could remember - though I can't say I remember anything well right now.  We met in public and yet I am still trying to find the ground.  I will say, to any submissives out there who read this that I received criticism from a Mistress and read in these postings that not taking the time to completely (and I would add in the spirit of this post sincerely) fill out your profile is self-defeating.  My giddiness right now is no doubt apparent and I apologize for that.  I can but home but "Today was a good day 'Tater."

(in reply to joyinslavery)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/5/2006 4:44:56 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		Congratulations and well done :)

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: First Meeting and Communication - 11/5/2006 4:54:05 PM   
nikaa


Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline 		I would want someone to be open and honest with me about the little things as well as the big issues.
 
I would rather someone tell me they are a novice or new to the lifestyle than be lead to beleive they have tons of training and experience. Lying about your experience can not simply be a communication issue but it could be a safety issue as well.
 
If you can not be open and honest in the begining, why would that change once your collared?



_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika


The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.


Wakan Tankan Nici Un




(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 19
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